The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

  • The True Story of the Invention of the Airplane
    by Arthur Candell There is much dispute concerning the invention of the airplane. While the United States claims that Orville and Wilbur Wright made the first heavier-than-air flight on December 17, 1903. Russia claims that it was there that the first flight took place. Several other countries dispute the U.S. and Russian claims, and take…
  • Notes on Baby-Sitting
    by Nils Erwin Length: About 6 pages I HAD MY FIRST BABY-SITTING JOB THE OTHER NIGHT. It was tough assignment, 3 kids – 24-hours. The parent was a family friend, Mandy, who seemed to have adopted the absurd notion that I was the man for the job, and moreover, that I should also be paid…
  • Zeep In The City
    -Sci-Fi – 3 Pages – Package runner Alpha One-Six, nicknamed `Zeep’ to endear him to Joe Public and his slobbering troglodyte family, had only been distracted for four hundredths of a second. But in that time, he’d somehow managed to collide with a stationary object; unwittingly knocking out his GPS, comm-link, and access to the…
  • In Green, Remembered
    I awoke knowing the link had been severed.  Tears stung my cheeks as I yanked the blankets off my body and stumbled out of bed, feeling sick and disoriented.                By the time I made it to the bathroom sink in anticipation of throwing up my late night trip to Taco Bell, the feeling had thankfully…

Columns

  • The Reins of Your Anus
    Did you ever know that it literally rains diamonds on Uranus? I even wrote a poem about it. When the rains fall on UranusThings can get particularly heinousDiamonds tumbling through the gassesPeoples better watch their asses
  • The Journey To HR, Part 126!
    As the children milled around, a rather tall one walked over to the pole and pointed at Bob who began to giggle. Then the chanting started. “Mealiechai, mealiechaie, mealiechai,” the children chanted as Bob insanely giggled. The tall child continued pointing at Bob. The pole began to move, slowly at first and then faster and…
  • A Night at the Opera
    By Bob SenitramJust stream of consciousness… Having nothing special to write about, I’m just gonna ramble. Me and the ‘ol lady went to an Opera the other night, because we’re just fancy like that. A first for me. I thought Operas were a little more complicated than what I witnessed. It was just boy meets…
  • TimeEx
    I am currently seeking investors for a business opportunity involving an idea I came up with. I will go ahead and tell it to you because I know that nobody can pull it off but me and I don’t have to worry about somebody else swooping in and stealing my idea. Except maybe Newman.  But…

Memes

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Comics

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Random Strange Stories

  • This Guy I Know

    There’s this guy I know. He has a job at a computer company called Conspicticon. He name is unimportant. Names mean nothing while he’s at work. For curiosity’s sake, his name is Hal. Sometimes while he’s at work, he just watches his screensaver. He watches the stars or Microsoft logos whooshing closer to him, closer…

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  • The Janitors Puppies

    I am the janitor at the McShwartz School for mentally ill children. ‘Nuff said. Every day I watch kids come in, and they most likely won’t come out in the same physical state they went in.  That happened to one kid, and when his father, a military General had heard he was coming out, he…

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  • Total World Domination

    I was headed towards Union Square to shop for a birthday gift for my mother. Shopping, unfortunately, has never been my forté. My mother taught me well how to overcome so many of life’s little obstacles; but shopping simply wasn’t something I could master. I just didn’t have it in me. And several stores later,…

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  • Six Arms And A Game Of Pinochle

    Doug had never really liked Ernie. He was an okay guy most times, if a little omnipresent. Maybe it was Doug’s fault for always picking him out in a crowd. Or maybe Ernie was actually everywhere. Then again, maybe it was the four extra arms that threw Doug for a loop. You see, Ernie is…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • The Journey To HR, Part 103!

    The HR lady pressed the button on her desk again. Another door opened and in walked three people, all wearing white coats. One was holding a large tube of glue. One was holding many, many cable ties. The last one was holding a large bucket of paste. The HR lady tossed the large tin bucket…

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  • I Am Taking Over This Mother Fucking Column…

    Hey! My name is Jerome White. I am taking over this mother fucking column from Steven cause his ass is dead!! I don’t watch no television cause I ain’t got one. I don’t go to no movies because I ain’t got no money. I just write about what I know. Check this. I went home…

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  • Drinking with Jesus

    Last night we were invited to a house warming party where I, using my super power, got everyone who doesn’t normally drink, or believes themselves incapable of drinking, completely trashed. During the party we exchanged some drinking stories, and I told the group of the time when in college I drank so much that I…

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  • More Pieces Adding Up To Four

    The Devin Townsend Band—“Synchestra” MoTW—“Cat Ballou” And so it continues with the hope that my issues and pains help someonesomewhere…. The whole problem with vengeance was finding the right vengeance toprove my point about something to my parents. I first thought about running away, figuring they would worry enough tobreak down in tears and beg…

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  • The 2008 Roadtrip: Part 1

    Opeth—Watershed MoTW—It's Alive Another year and another roadtrip done. I know you're thrilled and ready to read about this latest trip. It's adoozy, I'm tellin' ya! A real DOOZY! So here goes: Sunday, 4:25 am est: Wanted to leave at 3 am, but didn't. That was theplan and that's what I told the woman knowing…

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