The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • White Room
    by Lee Sentes
    -Strange – 2 Pages – The room was white. The walls, ceiling and floor were white. The man sitting at the white table was dressed in white. The door opened. A robot entered. “Your Highness, Emperor Napoleon.” The man looked up and nodded imperially at the mirrored-face. “Warden Friend,” he returned sternly. “I hope you…
  • History of a Hot Sauce: The mysterious Origins of Wassabassco
    by R. Andrew Heidel
    by R. Andrew Heidel and William Morton Our recipe, and Kiki’s lineage, begins in Japan during the waning years of the Edo era when the Tokugawa Shogunate commissioned the Sushi Sensei to discover a wasabi hot enough for the emperor himself. After many years on his dangerous quest, the Sushi Sensei discovered a pure strain…
  • River People
    by Andy Henion
    -Strange – 2 Pages – As far as I can tell there are two types of Tennessee river people and they travel in competing packs and consume washed up fish or this ubiquitous leafy vegetation that I with my northern bearings will only later come to know as kudzu. There are the stoop-shouldered people who…
  • How Roger Hambone Missed His Big Chance
    by Randy Bone
    Roger Hambone despite his last name never learned to hambone. He was hamboneless. But he could eef like nobody’s business. People used to say his name should have been Roger Eef. They called him “Eefin’ Roger Hambone”. When he would eef it sounded like this: Ah ee, ah oh, ah ee, ah oh, [hic], ee,…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 2
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob Senitram“Thinking up the nonsense, and then some…” Before we continue on our scheduled programming…HAPPY 250TH BIRTHDAY USA!!!! We now resume regular programming. A few days later, the trainer’s on the phone with Dr. Benson. The man in charge of psychology…and shit. “I can’t stress this enough, we need someone expendable.” “We tried expanding…
  • Fair Warning
    by Spamrider
    I’ll give you fair warning before you read this column: I am about to get all religious and preach up and down the block and speak in tongues and raise hell and raise Cain and call down the fire and the brimstone. If this is the sort of thing that personally offends you I have…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 108!
    by Stephen Johnson
    After all the tape was removed, Star Child Two flew around the room, going faster and faster. When it reached top speed, it headed towards Bob’s exposed buttocks. One minute it was there. After a slurping sound and a scream, it was no longer there. As Bob convulsed and unneeded innards flew from each and…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 1
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, because nobody asked for this… Looking down at the beautiful woods of Virginia, we see a group of men jogging in matching sweats. As we past by the toughest of the toughest we see one little sad excuse of a man. Somehow, he managed to keep up with the…

Memes

Click here for the whole batch!

Comics

Bunch more here!

Random Strange Stories

  • Alter ego No. 28

    -Humor – 3 Pages – Andy awoke to a foul stench, and a note. The note lay peacefully on the perimeter of his desk; evidently he had slept the night in the study. His back had, let me see. 2…3..7 – 12 yes, he counted at least 12 kinks in his back, and on passing…

    Read More…

  • Interfacing

    “What the hell are you doing?” I asked him. “Interfacing,” he said. “With your shirt?” “This shirt is a microfiber weave quantum computer,” he replied as he kept tapping imaginary keys on the side of his stomach. “All my garments are computers. So is everything in this room.” I thought about it a minute and…

    Read More…

  • Confessions of a Professional Defuser [excerpt]

    Confessions of a Professional Defuser by Randy Bone Thought bombs are carefully designed psychological viruses routinely implanted into our heads from a very young age through the schools and later through the media. The powerful devious minds behind it all call it “inoculation”. Which is ironic you see because what they are inoculating against are…

    Read More…

  • My Robot is Bad

    I arrived back at my hotel to find a message had been slipped under my door, but I forget about it because there is also a woman bound up, inverted, and hanging from my ceiling, the ropes covering very little of her naked flesh. I don’t know whether to call for help, tell her to…

    Read More…

Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • Why I Didn’t Post Anything Last Week

    Got an email from corporate last week wondering why I didn’t post anything. So, I pulled the ole Luther card with an “I’ve been busy!” I even mentioned the name “Luther” and that made them scramble. I considered getting some empty glass bottles and clinking them together outside corporate headquarters while asking those inside to…

    Read More….

  • The Secret Formula That Keeps Your Underwear White!

    Mastodon—Crack The Skye MoTW—JCVD I was going to continue my rant about the goateed wonderboy but guess Iwon't since he's too gutless to tell us why I can't read. I was thinking about this while waiting for my semi-annual haircut todayso I picked up an issue of "Car & Driver" and sat down to, yes,…

    Read More….

  • The Rat Killin…

    Now I told you about the joys of carin’ for chickens. But I never told you about the rat killin’. How we got rid of that old chicken coop and how we got rid of all them rats inside. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, our family came into possession of an old country…

    Read More….

  • So He Wants To Be A Hero? Fine!

    Ian Anderson—TAAB2 MoTW—Triangle Yeah, I know. You’ve been waiting and waiting for me to keep posting the rest of the interview, just to get the damn thing over with. Well, the reason I’ve been delaying was there was a good possibility Bob was going to be put to death (read his column) and, out of…

    Read More….

  • Trapped in Bob’s Closet, Part 106

    So it turns out Gary Coleman is a Dimension Lord who can get out of Bob’s closet any time he wants and in fact comes and goes as he pleases. The old Chick Shit chick doesn’t talk much. I think she’s got shellshock from some of the things Bob did to her. I guess they…

    Read More….

What Is All This Crap?