The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • “The New Job” by Rance Treakle
    by Rance Treakle
    [A Halloween Special from the 2003 Archives] I thought the devil was red and had a tail. I had braced myself for His appearance, His style, even His odor if need be. So what happens when I call Him? He shows up at my door in a three-piece suit, looking like a successful businessman. OK,…
  • THE MICROWAVED CHICKEN HEART
    by Craig Snyder
    The Microwaved Chicken Heart bellowed in triumph as his hideous six-inch fangs tore through the President’s colon. The Chief Executive shrieked in agony; his hopes for a pleasant Wednesday shattered in a few bloody moments. “I don’t believe I’m going to be re-elected,” he whimpered brokenly. The day had dawned so calm and fresh, like…
  • AND THERE WAS LIGHT
    by Chris Harris
    By Chris Harris We as a race, were the essence of eternity. But there was only ever one race, which like time itself was both infinite and finite. All creatures and all time were merely parts of their respective wholes. For as a second might regard a minute as impossible, so does the cell of…
  • Infinite Being — by Dovin Melhee
    by dovinmelhee
    Infinite Being By Dovin Melhee ————— There was an infinite being. Infinite in ability. Infinite in power. Infinite in knowledge. Infinite in intelligence. Infinite in possibility. Infinite and limitless in everything. The being considered itself and was satisfied that it was limitless, perfect and complete. But then the impossible happened. The being thought of something…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • Buried Memories
    by Spamrider
    I had planned something else this week but Bob and Stephen’s recent columns jarred loose an old memory buried in my noggin that I hadn’t thought about in years. It happened not long after I first became a Time Traveller.  I was still pretty green and I was still getting the precision down on my…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 115!
    by Stephen Johnson
    Bob pointed at me. “You! You I remember,” he said, giving another evil laugh. “Gosh. Really?” I responded, getting a little bit bored with this whole thing. “When I was in kindergarten, I used to chase you home every day. You lived down the street from me. I have no idea how it all got…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 9
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramNon-stop nonsense for your reading pleasure… Previously, Dr. Benson heard about the warden’s deal with the Senator and sent Bob to meet with Dr. Hector. Bob shows up at Hector’s prison, flashes his FBI badge and tells the guards he just spoke with the warden and was asked to follow up. He didn’t…
  • Stephen Hawking is a Dick
    by Spamrider
    On June 28, 2009, Stephen Hawking famously threw a party for Time Travellers. The whole shtick was he didn’t put out the invitations until after the party had already ended. Get it? Supposedly, nobody showed up. At least that is the official version that he told everybody. But I am afraid I must beg to…

Memes

Click here for the whole batch!

Comics

Bunch more here!

Random Strange Stories

  • Phone Games

    4 Pages The payphone is occupied. Another person, a man, a quirky man, hovers around its perimeter; he closely resembles a jabberwocky. “Excuse me, do you mind if I stare at you for a minute? I want to remember your face for my dreams.” Says the man. Though unquestionably a preternatural pariah, the mans behavior…

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  • The Resurrection Machine

    3 Pages At the reincarnation center, Brandy sat in a seat sewing as reincarnaters reincarnated. Beside her, on a walnut end table, lay a laminated card with a number stenciled on it, nearby was a pretty brass lamp. She sat in her regular chair. That is, the one she always sat in when she came…

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  • The Pheasant

    6 Pages Mr. Schwartz has a stuffed pheasant on his desk. So he’s a little eccentric. Well, he is, but the pheasant’s evil.I seem to find everything evil, even those baby dolls for the parenting class. Those beady little eyes, staring up at you… A few people do believe it, though. Like Martine, Lindsey, Kristin,…

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  • I Was A Teenage DJ

    Yup, I was a teenage DJ. NOTE: Due to a shortage of submissions, I’m posting a biographical story taken from four Ask Bob columns, written a year ago. If you would like to share your fiction with the world, click this link to submit a story! Seems like many websites that feature fiction make promises…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • The Aftermath of Passing Out!

    After passing out for four days courtesy of good ol’ Russian, gasoline moonshine from the 80s, Jerome was kind enough to take me home. We set up my computer back in the basement when I realized we didn’t have a keyboard. So back to Jerome’s we go. Jerome parked and up the stairs to his…

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  • A Few Small Portions

    Korn—“See You On The Other Side” MoTW—“True Romance” This is as true as parts 1 & 2 combined. Since I was underage, the doctor had to wait to operate until my parentsarrived at the hospital. Once there instead of giving the go-ahead toremove the 50+ bullets embedded willy-nilly in my body, they decided toquestion me…

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  • GUILTY PLEASURES

    By P.S.Gifford “Albert, could I have my usual double grey goose martini with three olives please.” “Right away Mr. Griffin, how is the new book going…” Albert spoke as he poured a generously amount of vodka into the glass shaker. “I have just sold the movie rights, so I am thrilled.” Just then a particularly…

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  • The Journey To HR, Part 112!

    Bob sat up. “Where am I?” he asked. “My office,” the HR lady said, quickly hiding the needles behind her back. “Wow,” Bob said, rubbing his head with logged fingers. “The last thing I remember is getting repeatedly shot in the head with a machine gun.” We moved closer to hear more. “Yeah…..I remember the…

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  • The Journey To HR, Part 18!

    Yep. I died. On the inside. Not enough, though. I felt more poo wanting to come out, but since I was upside down, it was working it’s way towards my mouth. I screamed. Then I screamed again. I didn’t want my poo in my mouth! “Hey! Anybody there? I need some help! I don’t want…

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