The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • White Room
    by Lee Sentes
    -Strange – 2 Pages – The room was white. The walls, ceiling and floor were white. The man sitting at the white table was dressed in white. The door opened. A robot entered. “Your Highness, Emperor Napoleon.” The man looked up and nodded imperially at the mirrored-face. “Warden Friend,” he returned sternly. “I hope you…
  • History of a Hot Sauce: The mysterious Origins of Wassabassco
    by R. Andrew Heidel
    by R. Andrew Heidel and William Morton Our recipe, and Kiki’s lineage, begins in Japan during the waning years of the Edo era when the Tokugawa Shogunate commissioned the Sushi Sensei to discover a wasabi hot enough for the emperor himself. After many years on his dangerous quest, the Sushi Sensei discovered a pure strain…
  • River People
    by Andy Henion
    -Strange – 2 Pages – As far as I can tell there are two types of Tennessee river people and they travel in competing packs and consume washed up fish or this ubiquitous leafy vegetation that I with my northern bearings will only later come to know as kudzu. There are the stoop-shouldered people who…
  • How Roger Hambone Missed His Big Chance
    by Randy Bone
    Roger Hambone despite his last name never learned to hambone. He was hamboneless. But he could eef like nobody’s business. People used to say his name should have been Roger Eef. They called him “Eefin’ Roger Hambone”. When he would eef it sounded like this: Ah ee, ah oh, ah ee, ah oh, [hic], ee,…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • So I Guess I Can Talk About This Now
    by Spamrider
    [Editor’s Note: I found this weeks Spamrider column in an unopened box of Count Chocula. What I mean is I opened the box and there it was. My wife had just brought it home for me from the grocery store and just in case you’re thinking there was some fishy business there were witnesses the…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 109!
    by Stephen Johnson
    Two of the burly men left the room. The rest of us milled around aimlessly, sometimes stepping on Bob’s lifeless body, sometimes not. After a bit, the two burly men came back with a large vat. They took off the cover and threw it to the side. I went over to the vat and peered…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 3
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, ’cause I got nothin’ else to do… Bob makes his flight to Huston and enters the infamous prison and approaches the first man he see’s. “Excuse me, have you seen the warden?” “I am the warden.” “Excellent, could you point me in your direction?” Puzzled, the warden points to…
  • The New Devil’s Dictionary
    by Spamrider
    Assassin (n): The only words with two asses.

Memes

Click here for the whole batch!

Comics

Bunch more here!

Random Strange Stories

  • Purple Circles

    Last summer my eyes broke.  They would burn in the morning and I’d rub them.   I would look at my eyes in mirrors and see that there were red lines growing all over them.  “Shit,” I thought.  I washed them with water, then alcohol, then peroxide, but the red lines kept growing. After my eyes…

    Read More…

  • Sepulchural

    -Strange Category – 5 Pages “Howdie.” Looking up from the gas pump nozzle, Vincent was greeted by a plummeting red boxing glove to the face. Whump! Vincent stumbled from the strike and fell against his ’87 yellow Trans-Am. “My nose!” The attacker danced back and forth, concealing his identity behind the big, red boxing gloves.…

    Read More…

  • Total World Domination

    I was headed towards Union Square to shop for a birthday gift for my mother. Shopping, unfortunately, has never been my forté. My mother taught me well how to overcome so many of life’s little obstacles; but shopping simply wasn’t something I could master. I just didn’t have it in me. And several stores later,…

    Read More…

  • Space and Stuff

    Sci-Fi – 12 Pages – Chapter 1 The Wall Copernicus is a colony on Mung. Mung is a shitty planet. That’s why they called it Mung. They were trying to think of something nice and Latin sounding like Mungolytude or something but they had named, like, forty planets that morning and couldn’t be bothered with…

    Read More…

Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • Bob Refuses to Fess Up!!!

    I just can’t believe Bob refuses to fess up to our love. After all the years of support for his numerous bad habits, after all the financial difficulties he put us through by me having to bail him out of jail every other weekend and after all the time I spent in the hospital holding…

    Read More….

  • Brick by Brick…

    Brick by Brick… By P.S. Gifford Ed paused from his task and took another long, steady swig from his bottle. “Boy, did I need that,” he said wiping spittle from his chin with the back of his hand, “another forty bricks or so should do it I reckon.” He returned the bottle safely to the…

    Read More….

  • Trapped in Bob’s Closet, Part 106

    So it turns out Gary Coleman is a Dimension Lord who can get out of Bob’s closet any time he wants and in fact comes and goes as he pleases. The old Chick Shit chick doesn’t talk much. I think she’s got shellshock from some of the things Bob did to her. I guess they…

    Read More….

  • Dear Melissa, Fan Mail!

    “Dear Melissa, I have been married for over 7 years. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel that the spark in my marriage is gone. No matter what I do, my husband doesn’t show any interest. Any ideas on what I should do? Confused in Joplin, MO” This is problem that plagues many marriages. I…

    Read More….

  • We’re Not A Good Couple

    Within Temptation—The Unforgiving MoTW—Repo Men   Generally folks hook up with one another because they feel like they canget support from each other. They should throw ideas at each other andsome sort of support should be shown, no mater how dumb the idea mightbe. Guess I’m not in a general type of relationship. It could…

    Read More….

What Is All This Crap?