The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • Zeep In The City
    by Joshua Blanc
    -Sci-Fi – 3 Pages – Package runner Alpha One-Six, nicknamed `Zeep’ to endear him to Joe Public and his slobbering troglodyte family, had only been distracted for four hundredths of a second. But in that time, he’d somehow managed to collide with a stationary object; unwittingly knocking out his GPS, comm-link, and access to the…
  • In Green, Remembered
    by Christopher Nadeau
    I awoke knowing the link had been severed.  Tears stung my cheeks as I yanked the blankets off my body and stumbled out of bed, feeling sick and disoriented.                By the time I made it to the bathroom sink in anticipation of throwing up my late night trip to Taco Bell, the feeling had thankfully…
  • Ziontology
    by Mikel Davis
    By Mikel Davis “You slimy sack of fish shit!” Deputy Ploggard slammed his hairy fist down onto the grey metal table which separated the two men. His hand landed with such force that it left a fist-shaped dent in the middle of the table. The noise which followed echoed off…
  • “The New Job” by Rance Treakle
    by Rance Treakle
    [A Halloween Special from the 2003 Archives] I thought the devil was red and had a tail. I had braced myself for His appearance, His style, even His odor if need be. So what happens when I call Him? He shows up at my door in a three-piece suit, looking like a successful businessman. OK,…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • Shit Schmelnoz Says, Part π!
    by Spamrider
    My old friend Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible, who is a space alien from the future of an alternate timeline, has never been married.  In fact, he didn’t even know what marriage was until I explained it to him.  And the reason I had to explain it to him was because he overheard someone using the expression,…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 122!
    by Stephen Johnson
    The bear swiped at Bob who was in mid-twirl and knocked him to the ground. The mauling began as Bob shrieked. “A bear?” he asked between his shrieks as the mauling continued. “Where in the blue fuck did you get a bear?” “LANGUAGE!” shouted the HR lady. “Sorry,” Bob said meekly. “It’s just….a bear?” The…
  • Broken Promises…Part II
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramIf a trashy person talks nice, is it still trash talk? Like I mentioned last week, I like to keep my promises. But that don’t always go so good. This week, I’m seven years old and I’m spending he weekend at my grandma’s house. My grandma was kind of a mean person. But…
  • The Thieves of Time
    by Spamrider
    I know it’s been a few years now since I bitched about the time change but with all the recent rigamarole I figured it’s about time to start bitching again.  I can only lament that I don’t have my dear friend Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible around this time to chime in on the matter, though I…

Memes

Click here for the whole batch!

Comics

Bunch more here!

Random Strange Stories

  • Don’t Give Up Your Day Job

    He’s lugging this suitcase, the first time I see him. It’s a huge brown monstrosity, this suitcase, and probably weighs more than its contents. He’s covered it with stickers of the places that he’s been, like he needs to reassure himself of his past, to check he actually exists. I can dig that. We all…

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  • Tales of Constant, Unrelenting Insanity

    16 Pages vol. I Larry was in a miserable mood as he left the slaughterhouse at 5:00 PM after working an 8 ½ hour-shift, then being laid off. It was like the world had stabbed him in the back, and opened up a wound where his soul escaped like helium leaking out of a hole…

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  • One way to get on TV

    Preface: the types of people in Iloilo City, Philippines are,1)Homebodies2)Gangsters3)Those looking for work4)Those not looking for work5)Scammers6)Hotheads7)Your average drunk trying to make some money and have agood time acting as an English teacher8)And the rich I pretty much fell into category 7 of those types of people in Iloilo City during 2007 and was enjoying…

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  • ONION MAN

    Onion Man by Polina Danilyuk -Strange – 2 Pages – “What you have?” says Olaf. Olaf isn’t like you and me. You and me, we’re sitting, baking, locked up in a stuffy school library, reading stories to each other. Olaf, he barely speaks a word of English. Until today, he’s never even been to the…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • Exercise

    Dear Bel, At my wife’s urging, I recently purchased an exercise bike for “us” to use at home. She wanted “us” to get in better shape, and thought that “we” would be more likely to exercise if we had something like that in the house. What has happened is this… We get home from work…

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  • Week 2 without Melissa!

    Week 2 without Melissa and everything’s fine in the world. After reading millions of guest commentaries for the “Chick Shit” column, we came across this submission from Jeff. Where Jeff is from we have no idea, but I had a brother named Jeff and he used to beat the shit out of me every chance…

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  • The Forbidden Time Zone: Part 14 – Prologue

    Last week in The Forbidden Time Zone, Cindy had one singular mission: to eliminate Bob, once and for all. But before we dive deeper, let’s clear up some confusion about these multiple universes. The Institute of New Beginnings has misled everyone—including Bob. They never maintained a massive computer that replicated their world to send people…

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  • The Real Story of THAT Trip: Part 4

    Scorpions—Humanity Hour 1 MoTW—Smokin' Aces So who was this "Night Rider" character? Some sort of cartoon charactercome to life or just another figment of my sometimes over-nonproductiveimagination? Granted, he did explain who he was and what he was up to, but I wasfocused on the road cause I had many miles to go and the…

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  • The Perils Of A Distracting Woman

    Streets—1st MoTW—Repo! The Genetic Opera The woman and I were heading home after a horrible experience at thegrocery store (a story for another day) a week or so ago and when wepassed a gas station she started complaining about the price which hadfallen to $1.77 from the $1.82 she had paid there the night before.…

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