The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • History of a Hot Sauce: The mysterious Origins of Wassabassco
    by R. Andrew Heidel
    by R. Andrew Heidel and William Morton Our recipe, and Kiki’s lineage, begins in Japan during the waning years of the Edo era when the Tokugawa Shogunate commissioned the Sushi Sensei to discover a wasabi hot enough for the emperor himself. After many years on his dangerous quest, the Sushi Sensei discovered a pure strain…
  • River People
    by Andy Henion
    -Strange – 2 Pages – As far as I can tell there are two types of Tennessee river people and they travel in competing packs and consume washed up fish or this ubiquitous leafy vegetation that I with my northern bearings will only later come to know as kudzu. There are the stoop-shouldered people who…
  • How Roger Hambone Missed His Big Chance
    by Randy Bone
    Roger Hambone despite his last name never learned to hambone. He was hamboneless. But he could eef like nobody’s business. People used to say his name should have been Roger Eef. They called him “Eefin’ Roger Hambone”. When he would eef it sounded like this: Ah ee, ah oh, ah ee, ah oh, [hic], ee,…
  • DABBLING IN THE DEPTHS OF HER SOUL
    by Evgeniya Seizova
    by Evgeniya Seizova Year by year a beautiful young lady was gazing with Her spiritual eyes in her own destruction… Was she a human being anymore? She stared her tired and too dilated pupils once again in the impassable Darkness trying to find a ray of light. So many impossible efforts. They’ve been crushing and…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • The Journey To HR, Part 107!
    by Stephen Johnson
    Bob stopped eating the paste and looked at the HR lady in horror. I smiled. “I was doing some further reading and there’s more…..punishment that needs to be done,” the HR lady said, smiling back at me. “Oh?” I asked. She motioned to Star Child Two and it flew over to her. She whispered something…
  • Back to the USSA?
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, and then some… Last week in my column about the USSA, I was explainin’ why I thing things have gone awry in this once great country of ours.Now I continue… Back in the day, I used to vote Republican once in a while. All depended on if I felt…
  • Time Portal
    by Spamrider
    By the grace of Herman I finally somehow managed to rig up an elementary time portal. I know it doesn’t look like much.  But it’s a start.  And it works. And here’s how it works. (This is going to get complicated, so buckle up and settle in…) That door you see in the picture leads…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 106!
    by Stephen Johnson
    I was in a restaurant. I was asked how many people were in my party. I thought about it for a moment, just knowing I would be the only one in my party but held up two fingers anyway. Henry Winkler walked by. Was it Henry Winkler? I was pretty sure it was. A waiter…

Memes

Click here for the whole batch!

Comics

Bunch more here!

Random Strange Stories

  • Eat Pete

    -Humor – 5 Pages – Mary Beth awoke with a start. “What the fu…,” she said, groggily. She looked around and realized immediately that it had been a dream. But what a strange dream it was. Stranger than most, to be sure. Not necessarily a nightmare; more of a disturbance. After all, it’s not often…

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  • Phone Games

    4 Pages The payphone is occupied. Another person, a man, a quirky man, hovers around its perimeter; he closely resembles a jabberwocky. “Excuse me, do you mind if I stare at you for a minute? I want to remember your face for my dreams.” Says the man. Though unquestionably a preternatural pariah, the mans behavior…

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  • The Cleansing Rain…

    by Brandon Cooper I woke up choking again. Salty water inside my lungs. Yum. I think that is probably the worst and best part about sleeping under the blanket of rain, it’s terrible. That’s just the first adjective that comes to mind too…. I hate it. That is why I do it though. I hate…

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  • Flowers for Aaron

    9/15 Dearest Diary, I saw Betty today.  She was eating dinner at Gill’s with an athletic, handsome and obviously dim-witted young man.  Her companion had a Herculean body, but his face looked addled as he tilted his head from side to side like a dog staring at its master while they speak human to it. …

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • All I Want is Some Coffee…

    My buddy Greg all the way from Alaska asks,“Why is the media treating President George W. Bush so harshly?”Well Greg, I see that this sort of thing is increasing as people realize that our President did in fact win his election and is actually in office. They’re afraid that he may just keep a promise…

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  • A Priceless Story

    (This is a true account originally dated Sunday, October 17, 2004) For a week since I’ve been in the Kansas City area I’ve been wanting to go back to this steakhouse in Independence that me and my parents ate at a few weeks ago, because it was REALLY good (the best I’ve found anywhere in…

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  • The New Devil’s Dictionary

    New Devil’s Dictionary by Spamrider Satire:  [In an increasingly insane world this word has been rendered both obsolete and meaningless.  It is démodé.  Kaput.  Satire is utterly dead, my friends.  May it rest in rebellious peace.]

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  • Tossing a Piece That Way

    The Bus Boys—“American Worker” MoTW—“Superman Returns” I put Mrs Beasley behind the couch in the living room, figuring it wasas safe a place as any. This way she wouldn’t be locked in a room andcould wander around the house freely, somehow terrorizing anyone shehappened to run into. I reminded mom that I had to work…

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  • Job Hunting…

    This week I decided to go job hunting and… WE INTERRUPT THIS COLUMN TO BRING YOU AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT! GREAT NEWS!!! I get several emails a week asking, “what about this, and what about that…” and every so often, why aren’t there more columns! <WARNING: Shameful endorsements coming> Each week TheWeirdcrap.com audience of 3 get…

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