The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • History of a Hot Sauce: The mysterious Origins of Wassabassco
    by R. Andrew Heidel
    by R. Andrew Heidel and William Morton Our recipe, and Kiki’s lineage, begins in Japan during the waning years of the Edo era when the Tokugawa Shogunate commissioned the Sushi Sensei to discover a wasabi hot enough for the emperor himself. After many years on his dangerous quest, the Sushi Sensei discovered a pure strain…
  • River People
    by Andy Henion
    -Strange – 2 Pages – As far as I can tell there are two types of Tennessee river people and they travel in competing packs and consume washed up fish or this ubiquitous leafy vegetation that I with my northern bearings will only later come to know as kudzu. There are the stoop-shouldered people who…
  • How Roger Hambone Missed His Big Chance
    by Randy Bone
    Roger Hambone despite his last name never learned to hambone. He was hamboneless. But he could eef like nobody’s business. People used to say his name should have been Roger Eef. They called him “Eefin’ Roger Hambone”. When he would eef it sounded like this: Ah ee, ah oh, ah ee, ah oh, [hic], ee,…
  • DABBLING IN THE DEPTHS OF HER SOUL
    by Evgeniya Seizova
    by Evgeniya Seizova Year by year a beautiful young lady was gazing with Her spiritual eyes in her own destruction… Was she a human being anymore? She stared her tired and too dilated pupils once again in the impassable Darkness trying to find a ray of light. So many impossible efforts. They’ve been crushing and…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • Time Portal
    by Spamrider
    By the grace of Herman I finally somehow managed to rig up an elementary time portal. I know it doesn’t look like much.  But it’s a start.  And it works. And here’s how it works. (This is going to get complicated, so buckle up and settle in…) That door you see in the picture leads…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 106!
    by Stephen Johnson
    I was in a restaurant. I was asked how many people were in my party. I thought about it for a moment, just knowing I would be the only one in my party but held up two fingers anyway. Henry Winkler walked by. Was it Henry Winkler? I was pretty sure it was. A waiter…
  • The End of the USSA?
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramWriting the nonsense because, if I don’t, who will? Once or twice a year, I like to put my comedy hat on the workbench and write about something that’s been bouncing around in my head. This is one of those times. And before anybody starts sending me spelling corrections, the title was not…
  • A World Without Bologna Hats
    by Spamrider
    I met a woman the other day. She said, “Bologna doesn’t curl up into a bologna hat when you cook it anymore.  Tell me, what has become of this world?” “This can’t be true!” I exclaimed, vexed and flabbergasted. “But it is!” she replied.  “But it is!” I decided to investigate for myself.  I marched…

Memes

Click here for the whole batch!

Comics

Bunch more here!

Random Strange Stories

  • Sepulchural

    -Strange Category – 5 Pages “Howdie.” Looking up from the gas pump nozzle, Vincent was greeted by a plummeting red boxing glove to the face. Whump! Vincent stumbled from the strike and fell against his ’87 yellow Trans-Am. “My nose!” The attacker danced back and forth, concealing his identity behind the big, red boxing gloves.…

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  • You can call me Al

    by Douglas L Rains -Sci-Fi – 14 Pages – Chapter 1 Johnny Meyers was hurrying home from school and he was going to be in trouble. He had to stay in detention after his last 8th grade class because he had made a ‘not so smart’ remark to one of his teachers. He was only…

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  • ALIENS PREFER PEPSI

    by Debbie Martinez 1 Page Every evening, JoeBob, John, and Bubba sit on the front porch enjoying popcorn and soda while they watch the sun set. They usually discuss football, politics, women and whatever else comes to mind. Most nights, the conversation stretches way past sunset into the night hours. One Sunday, the relaxed atmosphere…

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  • No Small Thing

    By Tom Shay The ebb and flow of pedestrians made Sascha seasick. Schools of cars passed down the road, staring at the throng. No bird is as free as me, she mused. With ruddy hand she cleared her eyes. In the distance construction continued, but the creation only added to the dead weight pulling on…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • Shit Schmelnoz Says

    Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible says the darndest things sometimes. Recently (which remember is now eighteen years ago) we were watching some birds and he said, “When the animals finally go to war against man, the birds will be quite formidable opponents.” Noting my incredulous look he explained, “For one thing, their surveillance powers are beyond question. …

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  • The Trial of Mildred Witherspoon

    The Trial Of Mildred Witherspoon By P.S.Gifford The diminutive grey haired lady slowly but surely shuffled her way along the immense corridor and through the impressive mahogany double doors and finally into the gaping room. As soon as the door swung open every voice in the room became hauntingly silent and every eye set swiftly…

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  • Is That Sarcasm?

    Graham Parker and The Shot—“Steady Nerves” MoTW—“Fame” I kinda feel bad for those people waiting outside the courthouse for thefinal verdict in the Michael Jackson case. Maybe it’s because I’m a big softie, but I feel bad that they’ve comefrom all over the world in order to show their support for MJ only tohave the…

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  • Soccer Moms

    It amazes me that everyone is worried about Elian, Microsoft, if God is real, will Oprah get really, really fat again, etc., when there is a more serious problem that plagues normal people every day of their life: Those bitches in the minivans. These so called “soccer moms” have no business being on the road,…

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  • The Journey To HR, Part 16!

    It was a small fart. But it was quite stinky. She opened windows I didn’t even know were there, turned on fans I didn’t even know were there and opened a bunch of those Renuzit air fresheners I didn’t even know were….there. “Did you ever see the movie ‘Strange Days’?” she asked as she waved…

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