The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • “The New Job” by Rance Treakle
    by Rance Treakle
    [A Halloween Special from the 2003 Archives] I thought the devil was red and had a tail. I had braced myself for His appearance, His style, even His odor if need be. So what happens when I call Him? He shows up at my door in a three-piece suit, looking like a successful businessman. OK,…
  • THE MICROWAVED CHICKEN HEART
    by Craig Snyder
    The Microwaved Chicken Heart bellowed in triumph as his hideous six-inch fangs tore through the President’s colon. The Chief Executive shrieked in agony; his hopes for a pleasant Wednesday shattered in a few bloody moments. “I don’t believe I’m going to be re-elected,” he whimpered brokenly. The day had dawned so calm and fresh, like…
  • AND THERE WAS LIGHT
    by Chris Harris
    By Chris Harris We as a race, were the essence of eternity. But there was only ever one race, which like time itself was both infinite and finite. All creatures and all time were merely parts of their respective wholes. For as a second might regard a minute as impossible, so does the cell of…
  • Infinite Being — by Dovin Melhee
    by dovinmelhee
    Infinite Being By Dovin Melhee ————— There was an infinite being. Infinite in ability. Infinite in power. Infinite in knowledge. Infinite in intelligence. Infinite in possibility. Infinite and limitless in everything. The being considered itself and was satisfied that it was limitless, perfect and complete. But then the impossible happened. The being thought of something…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • Buried Memories
    by Spamrider
    I had planned something else this week but Bob and Stephen’s recent columns jarred loose an old memory buried in my noggin that I hadn’t thought about in years. It happened not long after I first became a Time Traveller.  I was still pretty green and I was still getting the precision down on my…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 115!
    by Stephen Johnson
    Bob pointed at me. “You! You I remember,” he said, giving another evil laugh. “Gosh. Really?” I responded, getting a little bit bored with this whole thing. “When I was in kindergarten, I used to chase you home every day. You lived down the street from me. I have no idea how it all got…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 9
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramNon-stop nonsense for your reading pleasure… Previously, Dr. Benson heard about the warden’s deal with the Senator and sent Bob to meet with Dr. Hector. Bob shows up at Hector’s prison, flashes his FBI badge and tells the guards he just spoke with the warden and was asked to follow up. He didn’t…
  • Stephen Hawking is a Dick
    by Spamrider
    On June 28, 2009, Stephen Hawking famously threw a party for Time Travellers. The whole shtick was he didn’t put out the invitations until after the party had already ended. Get it? Supposedly, nobody showed up. At least that is the official version that he told everybody. But I am afraid I must beg to…

Memes

Click here for the whole batch!

Comics

Bunch more here!

Random Strange Stories

  • This Time I’ve Gone Too Far

    NOTE: The following short was originally posted on the “Ask Bob” column on 12/28/2008, I thought it would fit in nicely here…Bob S. A few days ago I got a nice Christmas card from my families spiritual elder which read like this: This time you’ve gone too far. This time you’ve gone too far. This time…

    Read More…

  • Total World Domination

    I was headed towards Union Square to shop for a birthday gift for my mother. Shopping, unfortunately, has never been my forté. My mother taught me well how to overcome so many of life’s little obstacles; but shopping simply wasn’t something I could master. I just didn’t have it in me. And several stores later,…

    Read More…

  • The Sallow Tallow Man

    The Sallow Tallow Man by Joshua Blanc Oliver had just opened up shop for the morning, and was starting up his various processes in anticipation of another lucrative day. He lit a lamp, which cast flickering light onto dim and greasy surfaces. Every morning there would be a fresh delivery of animal fat from the…

    Read More…

  • The Not-So Politically Correct Tale of Joe Poe

    Joe Poe had pretty much been dealt a bum hand in the game of life.  He was the bastard son of a Black Jewish harelipped paraplegic circus midget. Amazingly though, Joe appeared pretty much normal—at least physically.  The only noticeable characteristic he inherited from his father was a very stupid-looking midget face, although Joe’s head…

    Read More…

Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • My day-this just happened.

    Whoever said that history repeats itself was bang on the money. I am sitting here, with a mouthful of gauze after spending three and a half hours at the dentist. Now, I am British, but please refrain from the clichéd jokes about our teeth and food. But, I did have a crown on one of…

    Read More….

  • Together Again!

    Well, since I couldn’t sell Dana, it seemed like a good idea to get him a job at a Nebraska meat packing plant where he could meet other kids and make friends! Wouldn’t you know, once Dana started making money, it got its own place to live and didn’t want me around anymore. I know…

    Read More….

  • An Introduction To The Frankenverse

    What if I told you that two people can be in the same room together yet completely be in two different universes from each other? It sounds crazy but it’s true. In a crowd things get even crazier. But what you’ve really got to watch out for is when everybody in a crowd synchronizes so…

    Read More….

  • Another Stupid Column

    Since I haven’t written anything live in awhile I figured I’d better throw in a new column for this week because if I don’t do that every once in awhile then Bob is going to run out of material and then my column will be just like Chick Shit and now apparently also Lunatic Ravings…kaput.…

    Read More….

  • I Am Generally Pissed About Something, But Not Today…

    Normally when I write this, I am generally pissed about something. But, not today. Nope. I have been extremely happy the last few days from an email I happened to receive. I feel so gushy and mushy inside. Before you leave, I will rant about something later on here–I promise. First, I would like for…

    Read More….

What Is All This Crap?