The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • In Green, Remembered
    by Christopher Nadeau
    I awoke knowing the link had been severed.  Tears stung my cheeks as I yanked the blankets off my body and stumbled out of bed, feeling sick and disoriented.                By the time I made it to the bathroom sink in anticipation of throwing up my late night trip to Taco Bell, the feeling had thankfully…
  • Ziontology
    by Mikel Davis
    By Mikel Davis “You slimy sack of fish shit!” Deputy Ploggard slammed his hairy fist down onto the grey metal table which separated the two men. His hand landed with such force that it left a fist-shaped dent in the middle of the table. The noise which followed echoed off…
  • “The New Job” by Rance Treakle
    by Rance Treakle
    [A Halloween Special from the 2003 Archives] I thought the devil was red and had a tail. I had braced myself for His appearance, His style, even His odor if need be. So what happens when I call Him? He shows up at my door in a three-piece suit, looking like a successful businessman. OK,…
  • THE MICROWAVED CHICKEN HEART
    by Craig Snyder
    The Microwaved Chicken Heart bellowed in triumph as his hideous six-inch fangs tore through the President’s colon. The Chief Executive shrieked in agony; his hopes for a pleasant Wednesday shattered in a few bloody moments. “I don’t believe I’m going to be re-elected,” he whimpered brokenly. The day had dawned so calm and fresh, like…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • The Bullshit Machine
    by Spamrider
    What humanity has created with AI is the ultimate bullshit machine. Everything it creates is bullshit. But creating bullshit is the easy part.  The difference with AI is that it creates bullshit that is ever more and more believable. And we are gobbling it up even as it’s being force-fed to us. We’ve already gobbled…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 119!
    by Stephen Johnson
    “Probably not,” I said as the torn apart body parts began to move around, connecting with each other until Bob was whole again. “See?” The HR lady sighed. “Look,” she said. “This has gone on long enough. If it was being written in parts here and there for some website that nobody ever visits, we…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 13!
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, and then some… Hopalong, aka Stephen burst thru the door with a gun pointed at the head of Bob’s trainer from the academy. “Nameless trainer guy, wwwwwwww-what are you doing here?” Bob says, surprised. “You think Benson would trust your sorry ass in this case! He sent me down…
  • Stupid
    by Spamrider
    People say this is the stupidest timeline and truth be told they aren’t that far off from being correct. But there is at least one even stupider*.  I know because I got stuck in it one time. Now at this point you may be thinking to yourself, “This guy sure gets himself stuck in a…

Memes

Click here for the whole batch!

Comics

Bunch more here!

Random Strange Stories

  • Binkle Bunny in Super Electronic

    It was a lovely day and the Cummy Todge was brimming with people. Some of these people were regulars who were somewhat used to the usual insanity of the place. Most of them however were the unfortunate victims of chance, blissfully unaware that they were in danger of leaving the establishment gibbering like halfwits. Ned…

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  • Me and Myself and My Son: A Shitty Story

    A man was defecating on my England hotel room floor as I walked in. He looked over and squinted at the new light surrounding me from the hallway. I shut the door and said,” The bathrooms over there, buddy.” It was All Hallows Evening and I wondered if this was a trick or a threat.…

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  • DECOY

    DECOY It was one of those rare English summer days when the sun actually shone. In fact it had been shining now for three consecutive days, and that afternoon was delightfully calm and dream-like.      I’d been working in the garden, rather more idle than industriously, drifting aimlessly through the afternoon as it moved towards…

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  • Space and Stuff

    Sci-Fi – 12 Pages – Chapter 1 The Wall Copernicus is a colony on Mung. Mung is a shitty planet. That’s why they called it Mung. They were trying to think of something nice and Latin sounding like Mungolytude or something but they had named, like, forty planets that morning and couldn’t be bothered with…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 9

    By Bob SenitramNon-stop nonsense for your reading pleasure… Previously, Dr. Benson heard about the warden’s deal with the Senator and sent Bob to meet with Dr. Hector. Bob shows up at Hector’s prison, flashes his FBI badge and tells the guards he just spoke with the warden and was asked to follow up. He didn’t…

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  • Optimists And Pessimists

    There are some people who always automatically choose to see the glass as half full. And there are some people who always automatically choose to see the glass as half empty. Personally, I’ve always figured it depends on whether you’re busy filling it up or drinking out of it.

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  • The Perfect Man – By PS Gifford

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  • After Christmas Advice

    Dear Bel, My neighbor, Bruce, still hasn’t taken down his plastic xmas decorations. Quite frankly, I am sick of it. My wife is ready to kill the bastard. What should I do? -Tom Dear Tom,This Christmas, I went all out. My wife and I always like to decorate the yard for the holidays. This year…

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  • Drunken Advice for Drunken Drunkards – Part IV

    i drik drihy7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h7h76nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt6nyt Note from the Editor: I posted this column without reading it first. My mistake, the original title of “ASDLKJFAWWWWWWW???!!” really should’ve given me a clue that something was up. Apparently Randy set out to write a helpful guide on making the perfect gin and tonic. Unfortunately, he wasn’t confident in the recipe,…

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