The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • History of a Hot Sauce: The mysterious Origins of Wassabassco
    by R. Andrew Heidel
    by R. Andrew Heidel and William Morton Our recipe, and Kiki’s lineage, begins in Japan during the waning years of the Edo era when the Tokugawa Shogunate commissioned the Sushi Sensei to discover a wasabi hot enough for the emperor himself. After many years on his dangerous quest, the Sushi Sensei discovered a pure strain…
  • River People
    by Andy Henion
    -Strange – 2 Pages – As far as I can tell there are two types of Tennessee river people and they travel in competing packs and consume washed up fish or this ubiquitous leafy vegetation that I with my northern bearings will only later come to know as kudzu. There are the stoop-shouldered people who…
  • How Roger Hambone Missed His Big Chance
    by Randy Bone
    Roger Hambone despite his last name never learned to hambone. He was hamboneless. But he could eef like nobody’s business. People used to say his name should have been Roger Eef. They called him “Eefin’ Roger Hambone”. When he would eef it sounded like this: Ah ee, ah oh, ah ee, ah oh, [hic], ee,…
  • DABBLING IN THE DEPTHS OF HER SOUL
    by Evgeniya Seizova
    by Evgeniya Seizova Year by year a beautiful young lady was gazing with Her spiritual eyes in her own destruction… Was she a human being anymore? She stared her tired and too dilated pupils once again in the impassable Darkness trying to find a ray of light. So many impossible efforts. They’ve been crushing and…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • Time Portal
    by Spamrider
    By the grace of Herman I finally somehow managed to rig up an elementary time portal. I know it doesn’t look like much.  But it’s a start.  And it works. And here’s how it works. (This is going to get complicated, so buckle up and settle in…) That door you see in the picture leads…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 106!
    by Stephen Johnson
    I was in a restaurant. I was asked how many people were in my party. I thought about it for a moment, just knowing I would be the only one in my party but held up two fingers anyway. Henry Winkler walked by. Was it Henry Winkler? I was pretty sure it was. A waiter…
  • The End of the USSA?
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramWriting the nonsense because, if I don’t, who will? Once or twice a year, I like to put my comedy hat on the workbench and write about something that’s been bouncing around in my head. This is one of those times. And before anybody starts sending me spelling corrections, the title was not…
  • A World Without Bologna Hats
    by Spamrider
    I met a woman the other day. She said, “Bologna doesn’t curl up into a bologna hat when you cook it anymore.  Tell me, what has become of this world?” “This can’t be true!” I exclaimed, vexed and flabbergasted. “But it is!” she replied.  “But it is!” I decided to investigate for myself.  I marched…

Memes

Click here for the whole batch!

Comics

Bunch more here!

Random Strange Stories

  • Interview with Robert Peterson

    1 Page [Interview commences on Robert Peterson’s back patio] Hello my name is Robert Peterson. I am a father to three children, two boys Pete and Oscar, one girl, Lizzy. I work in sales, for a white goods company, specializing in human resources. My wife is Janine, and we’ve been together for 17 years now.…

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  • The Manhood Test

    Note from the Editor: The Manhood Test was written back in 2000, before virtual reality was invented. Jonathan looked out of place among the other boys in his crowd. for one thing, he did not wear glasses. Thanks to years of computer use, most children were near sighted by the time they were Jonathan’s age,…

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  • Dirty Boy

     I never found out who brought dirty boy into our school and into my bedroom. He was covered in years of accumulated dust and filth, wedged between the cracks of my bedroom floor. His torso stuck to his legs and his legs were bent in right angles. His teeth were perfectly square and gleamed when…

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  • THE MICROWAVED CHICKEN HEART

    1 Page The Microwaved Chicken Heart bellowed in triumph as his hideous six-inch fangs tore through the President’s colon. The Chief Executive shrieked in agony; his hopes for a pleasant Wednesday shattered in a few bloody moments. “I don’t believe I’m going to be re-elected,” he whimpered brokenly. The day had dawned so calm and…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • I Got a Visitor in Jail!!!

    I got a Visitor in Jail! by Melissa Paternick Since I’ve been in jail before, I know exactly how to handle myself and know how to keep out of trouble. Take my word, if one of your fellow inmates wants you to be her bitch, you might as well go with it or there might…

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  • So He Wants To Be A Hero? Fine!

    Ian Anderson—TAAB2 MoTW—Triangle Yeah, I know. You’ve been waiting and waiting for me to keep posting the rest of the interview, just to get the damn thing over with. Well, the reason I’ve been delaying was there was a good possibility Bob was going to be put to death (read his column) and, out of…

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  • A Few Small Portions

    Korn—“See You On The Other Side” MoTW—“True Romance” This is as true as parts 1 & 2 combined. Since I was underage, the doctor had to wait to operate until my parentsarrived at the hospital. Once there instead of giving the go-ahead toremove the 50+ bullets embedded willy-nilly in my body, they decided toquestion me…

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  • Nice Dreams: Part VII – A Twist of Fate!

    Prologue: In the proceeding columns, I found myself on a luxurious private ocean liner, mistaken for some kind of scientist. Currently, they all think I’m the guy, except Ezra the man who greeted me when I came out of my drug induced coma. He says, they’ll definitely have my head when the Boss finds out…

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  • My Exposed Adventure in the Forbidden Time Zone: PART II

    In last week’s episode, Bob woke in the “Forbidden Time Zone” a void and began conversing with voices in his head. “Don’t tell him that!” the woman scolded. “Look, we’ll do a full wipe this time. A full 24 hours—he won’t remember a thing,” the man’s voice replied, calm but mechanical. “Just like last time.…

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