The Mission
February 22, 2006-Strange - 8 Pages - The cold dark basement smelled of rotting mold and stagnant water. Cobwebs lined the floor joists above moving only slightly to the wind of Larry's breath. A pinprick of light showed through small holes in a window that had been…
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Death To All Smurfs
October 11, 20044 Pages Introduction by Kenneth Keller It was a sad spring day in the forest. All the animals had gone away. The sky was full of mist and the air was permeated with the now familiar scent of death. Hatred was breathing again in the…
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Only On Jupiter
March 10, 2025Only on Jupiter by Ed Bread -Strange - 5 Pages - Mistakes happen. I left the heater on. It was my fault. I admit it. No one was hurt. At least I have that on my side. So, while the cops and judges and whoever…
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Bacon Becomes Her
October 17, 20043 Pages "Brenda's a pig!" "Roger! Aren't you two engaged?" Tim paused mid-sip. "That's your fiancé you're talking about." "I know, I know." Roger took a swig of his Red Hook ESB and wiped his mouth on his shirtsleeve. "But she is." "She got one…
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Total World Domination
September 7, 20046 Pages I was headed towards Union Square to shop for a birthday gift for my mother. Shopping, unfortunately, has never been my forté. My mother taught me well how to overcome so many of life's little obstacles; but shopping simply wasn't something I could…
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The Forbidden Time Zone: PART XIII
January 31, 2025In case you just joined us in Forbidden Time Zone, usually the Ask Bob column is a collection of true life events, exaggerated into fiction. This, however, is pure fiction. Or is it? So far, future Bob is occupying the mind of his 12 year…
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Bastard F*ck Demon of the Storms
June 10, 2005This weekend was supposed to have been a fucking camping weekend. The plan was that we would go and, well, chill the fuck out. No work, just sun, fishing, drinking, and maybe some naked frizz bee on the beach at night. Which really freaks out…
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Yes, Virginia
December 24, 2023A little kid came up to me today and asked me why Santa Claus always brings the rich kids nicer presents at Christmas than the poor kids. I just told her the truth that it’s because Santa Claus is a Republican. In The Future the…
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This Site is up to NO GOOD!
April 9, 2025It seems that the "men" that run this site are trying to play a little game with me. Supposedly, one of my columns was "lost" so last weeks column was written for my fans to let them know that I didn't forget about them. Well,…
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Letter To Myself
June 29, 2025That Schmelnoz guy is right. I am a dumbass. Despite recurring signs involving fish over the past month or so, it never actually occurred to me to look inside the giant fish I have hanging right over my own mantlepiece. (I call him “Mike the…
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The Latest Weirdcrap News for the Uninformed!
April 21, 2024Stop by here for the recent additions, announcements, news, and anything else that’s crawling out of my a**, or should I say, the strange and surreal corners of our website. The weird crap never stops…
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What Are We? A Definitive Explanation of TheWeirdcrap.com
February 27, 2024You get a nice library of strange stories and weird fiction that's been accumulating since 2000. You also get access to Short Attention Span Stuff; comics, memes, and jokes. Browse around, read a story or…
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