The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

  • River People
    -Strange – 2 Pages – As far as I can tell there are two types of Tennessee river people and they travel in competing packs and consume washed up fish or this ubiquitous leafy vegetation that I with my northern bearings will only later come to know as kudzu. There are the stoop-shouldered people who…
  • How Roger Hambone Missed His Big Chance
    Roger Hambone despite his last name never learned to hambone. He was hamboneless. But he could eef like nobody’s business. People used to say his name should have been Roger Eef. They called him “Eefin’ Roger Hambone”. When he would eef it sounded like this: Ah ee, ah oh, ah ee, ah oh, [hic], ee,…
  • DABBLING IN THE DEPTHS OF HER SOUL
    by Evgeniya Seizova Year by year a beautiful young lady was gazing with Her spiritual eyes in her own destruction… Was she a human being anymore? She stared her tired and too dilated pupils once again in the impassable Darkness trying to find a ray of light. So many impossible efforts. They’ve been crushing and…
  • ONE DAY AT THE ACME by Gary Kolb
    So I go into the Acme after my five mile run. I grab a basket because I just want to grab a few things. There is a good football game on ESPN tonight, Florida vs. Georgia, and I just want to pick up some munchies for the game. I’m in this aisle, right, pasta and…

Columns

  • The End of the USSA?
    By Bob SenitramWriting the nonsense because, if I don’t, who will? Once or twice a year, I like to put my comedy hat on the workbench and write about something that’s been bouncing around in my head. This is one of those times. And before anybody starts sending me spelling corrections, the title was not…
  • A World Without Bologna Hats
    I met a woman the other day. She said, “Bologna doesn’t curl up into a bologna hat when you cook it anymore.  Tell me, what has become of this world?” “This can’t be true!” I exclaimed, vexed and flabbergasted. “But it is!” she replied.  “But it is!” I decided to investigate for myself.  I marched…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 105!
    I found myself sitting at a desk. Across from me sat Bob. “Care if I talk? I pee myself a little when I take tests,” said Bob. “Sure,” I replied. “Just don’t move.” Bob stopped fidgeting. “I already had an IQ test when I was tinier than I am now,” he said. “Reaction time is…
  • Another day in a life…
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense…just for the hell of it. Another day, another dollar… But all that got interrupted last week when the ol’ lady informed me that we’re heading to St. Louis to see our daughter perform in her first college dance show. The plan was simple: leave early Friday, get settled in,…

Memes

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Comics

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Random Strange Stories

  • THE MICROWAVED CHICKEN HEART

    1 Page The Microwaved Chicken Heart bellowed in triumph as his hideous six-inch fangs tore through the President’s colon. The Chief Executive shrieked in agony; his hopes for a pleasant Wednesday shattered in a few bloody moments. “I don’t believe I’m going to be re-elected,” he whimpered brokenly. The day had dawned so calm and…

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  • Death To All Smurfs

    4 Pages Introduction by Kenneth Keller It was a sad spring day in the forest. All the animals had gone away. The sky was full of mist and the air was permeated with the now familiar scent of death. Hatred was breathing again in the village once more. The clouds were gray and the tree…

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  • Duzzies

    Duzzies by P.S. Gifford -Sci-Fi – 1 Page – The prompt was Starlight- and I was thirty nine. It is short and admittedly clumsy- I found it on line- but aspects of it I do appreciate. I admit forgetting all about it. Felt I owed it one more airing. Perhaps, just perhaps I say, it…

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  • The Mortis of Peace

    by Aluric Dai There was very little left towards the end of time. A great chaos had taken the people, some say a plague. Others just war. Life was different than it had been. Now the people no longer fought for their lives or well-beings. They knew that they would all die soon. And that…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • The Forbidden Time Zone: Part 43

    “No, seriously. Do you even know what the cards do?” Bob asked, eyeing Lisa with the suspicion of someone who’d been handed a live grenade decorated in glitter. “Hard not to. I only spend most of my life making them.” “Okay, hot shot, but what do they actually do?” “Like I said, they keep you…

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  • Jerome Steps In…

    Dear friends TheWeirdcrap.com and the Ask Bob column. This Jerome, Bob’s very bestest friend! Bob ain’t writing this week’s column for two reasons. One, he done crashed the site this last Tuesday night. And then there’s reason number two: on account he had some sort of “episode”. I don’t exactly know what the doctors would…

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  • She Dropped The Bomb On Me

    After showing my “New Bible” to my pastor, I was expecting to be treated like Ralphy in “A Christmas Story”. He would be so inspired by my revelation, that he would rate me as a good Christian and give me an A + + + + + + + + +… Then the congregation would…

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  • Can you vomit up your own poo?

    The vomiting poo question was sent a few weeks ago, and now 3 weeks later I still haven’t answered! So if we get a few more folks Asking Bob a question, I won’t have to milk one question for 3 weeks. But then again, I ramble, so maybe nothing will change if I get more…

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  • The Journey To HR, Part 16!

    It was a small fart. But it was quite stinky. She opened windows I didn’t even know were there, turned on fans I didn’t even know were there and opened a bunch of those Renuzit air fresheners I didn’t even know were….there. “Did you ever see the movie ‘Strange Days’?” she asked as she waved…

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