The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • THE MICROWAVED CHICKEN HEART
    by Craig Snyder
    The Microwaved Chicken Heart bellowed in triumph as his hideous six-inch fangs tore through the President’s colon. The Chief Executive shrieked in agony; his hopes for a pleasant Wednesday shattered in a few bloody moments. “I don’t believe I’m going to be re-elected,” he whimpered brokenly. The day had dawned so calm and fresh, like…
  • AND THERE WAS LIGHT
    by Chris Harris
    By Chris Harris We as a race, were the essence of eternity. But there was only ever one race, which like time itself was both infinite and finite. All creatures and all time were merely parts of their respective wholes. For as a second might regard a minute as impossible, so does the cell of…
  • Infinite Being — by Dovin Melhee
    by dovinmelhee
    Infinite Being By Dovin Melhee ————— There was an infinite being. Infinite in ability. Infinite in power. Infinite in knowledge. Infinite in intelligence. Infinite in possibility. Infinite and limitless in everything. The being considered itself and was satisfied that it was limitless, perfect and complete. But then the impossible happened. The being thought of something…
  • White Room
    by Lee Sentes
    -Strange – 2 Pages – The room was white. The walls, ceiling and floor were white. The man sitting at the white table was dressed in white. The door opened. A robot entered. “Your Highness, Emperor Napoleon.” The man looked up and nodded imperially at the mirrored-face. “Warden Friend,” he returned sternly. “I hope you…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • Still More Future History
    by Spamrider
    Somewhere deep in the swamps of the malaria-infested jungles of a country whose name I shan’t divulge dwelled the man I had travelled across great distances in both time and space to find. It was Bob’s Grandpa, and I had come to kill him. But that’s another story so here is this week’s Weird Crap.…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 113!
    by Stephen Johnson
    “Me?” I asked in quite the innocent way. “Yes, YOU!” Bob shouted, trying to get to his logged feet. He failed and lay back down. “YOUUUUUUUUU………..” he hissed, and pointed at me again. “Fine,” I said, getting into the game. “MEEEEEEEEEEEEE…………” There were a few chuckles as we delighted in messing with Bob’s brain. “You!…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 7
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, before you do… “So you’re here to visit Dr. Hector for the third time. Didn’t he make a fool of you twice already? The warden asks. “Fool me twice shame on you. Fool me three times and, and…I won’t get fooled again.” Bob replies. “Yeah sure, you know the…
  • The Last Poodle on Earth
    by Spamrider
    I haven’t wanted to write about this because the wound is still fresh, but unfortunately my Time Portal got destroyed. It was that damn Poodle that I rescued from The Future. Even though I haven’t been writing about it lately I’ve been quite busy with the old Time Portal. Because what I finally realized is…

Memes

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Comics

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Random Strange Stories

  • Family Secrets

    -Strange – 4 Pages – Lester walked into the wall and kept right on going. Strange as that may sound, it wasn’t all that unusual. Lester could walk through anything – walls, doors, trees, sand dunes, hotdog stands, people; you name it, Lester could walk through it. It had something to do with his innate…

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  • In The Days Leading Up To

    5 pages I was once told that life is a book that can never be reread. Once you’ve turned the page, all you can do is remember. You have to hope that someone else is reading the same book, so you can reminisce. We are, in a way, reading the same plot, but no one…

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  • Lunar’s Armor

    Lunar’s Armor by “Link” Phoenix Rebirth, another technology brought to you by the Microsoft Union of companies, and by the technology of the fiftieth century. It costs a whopping, 50,000,000,000 Dollars for a single tube. But such a tube can be reused thousands of times; it is humanity’s current key to immortality. Once a tube…

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  • OF SQUIRRELS AND MEN

    by The Peppercorn Kid -Humor – 5 Pages – You know what they say about squirrels and politics. But as much as I try to avoid it, there are those unfortunate times when I find myself caught in a discussion about the furry little critters. And then what am I supposed to do, not mention…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • The Next Four years

    The following is a dream I had. I’m quite sure it will come true because many of my dreams have come true in the past. The proof: One time at band camp, I had a dream that I was running out of toothpaste and the next morning I checked and sure enough I was dangerously…

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  • A Couple Big Slices

    The Mahavishnu Orchestra—“The Lost Trident Sessions” MoTW—“Teachers” All that follows is as true as Part One. I suppose getting sent to rehab at such a young age would befrightening, but I found that it really wasn’t. My roommate, a 35 yearold ex-rodeo clown addicted to smoking dried cow shit, was my mentor andhe made sure…

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  • A Lazy Secretive Thing With Stuff On Top

    Y&T—Facemelter MoTW—Blue Collar Before I get started, would like those that like classic rock/metal tojoin a new forum at www.classic-rock-bottom.ning.com. It's an offshoot of a forum that's closing down on July 1st and has somereally great people onboard. It's also not your typical forum where'sthere's a bunch of assholes doing asshole type stuff. Just folks…

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  • THE PACKAGE

    I was startled yesterday by a knock on my front door. And so surely must have been the poor person knocking, as, not used to disturbances, both my large knocks hurled themselves barking ferociously to the glass of the door. By the time I had gotten myself there, contained the excited canines, and opened the…

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  • I Never Will Understand Some People!

    So I’m visiting this guy the other day, and he says to me, “Me casa es su casa!” “Awesome!” I said, “I’ll bet I can get $250 grand for this place!” This seemed to annoy him, so I added, “What? I’ll split it with you…” Now I’m not allowed in my casa ever again.

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