The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • “The New Job” by Rance Treakle
    by Rance Treakle
    [A Halloween Special from the 2003 Archives] I thought the devil was red and had a tail. I had braced myself for His appearance, His style, even His odor if need be. So what happens when I call Him? He shows up at my door in a three-piece suit, looking like a successful businessman. OK,…
  • THE MICROWAVED CHICKEN HEART
    by Craig Snyder
    The Microwaved Chicken Heart bellowed in triumph as his hideous six-inch fangs tore through the President’s colon. The Chief Executive shrieked in agony; his hopes for a pleasant Wednesday shattered in a few bloody moments. “I don’t believe I’m going to be re-elected,” he whimpered brokenly. The day had dawned so calm and fresh, like…
  • AND THERE WAS LIGHT
    by Chris Harris
    By Chris Harris We as a race, were the essence of eternity. But there was only ever one race, which like time itself was both infinite and finite. All creatures and all time were merely parts of their respective wholes. For as a second might regard a minute as impossible, so does the cell of…
  • Infinite Being — by Dovin Melhee
    by dovinmelhee
    Infinite Being By Dovin Melhee ————— There was an infinite being. Infinite in ability. Infinite in power. Infinite in knowledge. Infinite in intelligence. Infinite in possibility. Infinite and limitless in everything. The being considered itself and was satisfied that it was limitless, perfect and complete. But then the impossible happened. The being thought of something…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 11!
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramBringing the darkness to light…sort of. Later, in Dr. Benson’s office: “…and he just walked out. They found a dead tourist the next day, parts of his body was missing.” “Hector’s got leprosy? All we have to do is follow the body parts and we have our man!” Bob concludes. “No, the tourist’s…
  • The Song in Bob’s Head
    by Spamrider
  • You Better You Bet
    by Spamrider
    You can literally bet on almost anything now.  And I’m not using “literally” in that post-ironic sense where literally means literally the opposite of itself. You can literally literally bet on almost anything. From a Time Traveller’s historian perspective, I see it all as a part of the continued Game and Reality Show-ification of American…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 116!
    by Stephen Johnson
    Suddenly, Bob sat up. The applause and my crying stopped. He looked at me. “We made a movie about 60 or 70 years ago,” he said. “Do you remember that?” I nodded. “We had a couple Betamax players and hooked them together. Then we got some cheap beer, think it was Keystone, and, since it…

Memes

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Comics

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Random Strange Stories

  • A Touch Bitter and Too Clever by Half

    By Kevin Easter There are parts of yourself that you hold back. You have to keep that part inviolate, hidden. It doesn’t matter how much you’re “in love” or how much you “trust” your therapist. That part remains. It’s your soul, your true name, your inner child, and you keep it to yourself. There’s one…

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  • River People

    -Strange – 2 Pages – As far as I can tell there are two types of Tennessee river people and they travel in competing packs and consume washed up fish or this ubiquitous leafy vegetation that I with my northern bearings will only later come to know as kudzu. There are the stoop-shouldered people who…

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  • My Robot is Bad

    I arrived back at my hotel to find a message had been slipped under my door, but I forget about it because there is also a woman bound up, inverted, and hanging from my ceiling, the ropes covering very little of her naked flesh. I don’t know whether to call for help, tell her to…

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  • CADUCEUS

     A half assed tale of unfinished business “Damn!” He spat, frozen in mid stride, he glared at the headline. He then continued to walk down the street, muttering to himself and God as he chewed more than smoked the butt end of a camel non filtered cigarette. The murder rate for the city was up,…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • Bastard F*ck Demon of the Storms

    This weekend was supposed to have been a fucking camping weekend. The plan was that we would go and, well, chill the fuck out. No work, just sun, fishing, drinking, and maybe some naked frizz bee on the beach at night. Which really freaks out the Jesus freaks; the beach regulars and the old folks…

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  • Top 10 Movies & Music Of 2009

    Anthrax—Persistence Of Time MoTW—District 9 Well, we made it thru another year! And with the new year upon us. it'stime yet again for our list of the top 10 movies and albums of the year!It's what you've been waiting for! Actually it's more MY list than OUR list. I always send out a nice, easyto…

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  • OH HOLY NIGHT

    I didn’t have a Christmas special to write about this year, so I decided to wait until I finished my Christmas and see what comes. But for those who love the pre-Christmas columns here’s one of my favorites: http://www.theweirdcrap.com/commentaries/askbob2005/2005_12_11_bob.html Me and my lady went to my sister’s house on Christmas eve. While I was there…

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  • Cold Fingers

    Well I figured that after explaining how all life on Earth started, I needed a little break. Breaks over and again I have absolutely nothing to write about. Last week poor Stephen was called out by a fan and was accused of having the weaker gene because he refers to his “ol’ lady” as “the…

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  • The Journey To HR, Part 26!

    After the door closed, I sat in the same position for over an hour, still slightly drooling. Finally, I came to my sense. “Did that really happen?” I asked the HR lady. “It did. It really, really did!” “I no longer have to poop!” I said while squeezing to see if something DID come out.…

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