The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • In Green, Remembered
    by Christopher Nadeau
    I awoke knowing the link had been severed.  Tears stung my cheeks as I yanked the blankets off my body and stumbled out of bed, feeling sick and disoriented.                By the time I made it to the bathroom sink in anticipation of throwing up my late night trip to Taco Bell, the feeling had thankfully…
  • Ziontology
    by Mikel Davis
    By Mikel Davis “You slimy sack of fish shit!” Deputy Ploggard slammed his hairy fist down onto the grey metal table which separated the two men. His hand landed with such force that it left a fist-shaped dent in the middle of the table. The noise which followed echoed off…
  • “The New Job” by Rance Treakle
    by Rance Treakle
    [A Halloween Special from the 2003 Archives] I thought the devil was red and had a tail. I had braced myself for His appearance, His style, even His odor if need be. So what happens when I call Him? He shows up at my door in a three-piece suit, looking like a successful businessman. OK,…
  • THE MICROWAVED CHICKEN HEART
    by Craig Snyder
    The Microwaved Chicken Heart bellowed in triumph as his hideous six-inch fangs tore through the President’s colon. The Chief Executive shrieked in agony; his hopes for a pleasant Wednesday shattered in a few bloody moments. “I don’t believe I’m going to be re-elected,” he whimpered brokenly. The day had dawned so calm and fresh, like…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • The New Devil’s Dictionary
    by Spamrider
    Irony: How rust tastes
  • Pillbug Zen
    by Spamrider
    Today I saw the tiniest little pillbug I ever seen in my life.  Then suddenly I got this notion.  So I watched.  And I seen something move.  It was just a tiny little speck.  So I kept watching.  And I seen it move again.  So I looked closer.  And sure enough, it was an even…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 120!
    by Stephen Johnson
    “Seriously? This is the way?” I asked. “This IS the way,” Bob replied. “THIS….is the way,” replied the HR lady. So, this I accepted and died I did. Soon after, I opened my eyes. It was quite foggy and I was quite wet from what felt like rain. “Is this the afterlife?” I asked nobody…
  • My Shitty-TV, my Shitty-Self…
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramJust some guy who never expected to write a weekly column… After the conclusion of “The Squealing of the Pigs,” Stephen, being the bastard that he is, commented, “You just want to fill the world with silly stories.” Well, I took issue to that comment.” Then I thought about it, and there’s so…

Memes

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Comics

Bunch more here!

Random Strange Stories

  • No Small Thing

    By Tom Shay The ebb and flow of pedestrians made Sascha seasick. Schools of cars passed down the road, staring at the throng. No bird is as free as me, she mused. With ruddy hand she cleared her eyes. In the distance construction continued, but the creation only added to the dead weight pulling on…

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  • The Sock Puppet That Came In From The Cold (Part 2)

    9 Pages Part 2 of 3: Elsewhere in the city that night, a party was being held: in the police station of all places. But not everyone attending was filled with Christmas cheer. Officer Peter Gumption had rather more worrisome thoughts on his mind. He sat nursing them limply on the couch. An attractive blonde…

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  • History of a Hot Sauce: The mysterious Origins of Wassabassco

    by R. Andrew Heidel and William Morton Our recipe, and Kiki’s lineage, begins in Japan during the waning years of the Edo era when the Tokugawa Shogunate commissioned the Sushi Sensei to discover a wasabi hot enough for the emperor himself. After many years on his dangerous quest, the Sushi Sensei discovered a pure strain…

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  • Karmic Fries

     “Josie and Dhanesh, help me unpack these things,” Steve hollered from the back room. The two walked over. “We were just leaving,” Josie said. “The registers are closed. The store is clean. The garbage is in the dump. Can it wait until tomorrow?” Steve stared at her and cast an impatient sneer. “If it could…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • Here’s Where I Talk About Lawn Sprinklers. Again.

    Foghat—Last Train Home MoTW—Daybreakers Sometimes I like throwing on some nice duds (or "clothes" for the youthreading this) and assimilating myself into a workforce somewhere. It'sjust something to do to break up the monotony since siting around everyday getting stoned and drunk just ain't a happening thing. Most days itis, some days it's just not…

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  • An Issue With Sneakers

    S.U.N.—Something Unto Nothing MoTW—Brave I don’t consider myself a cheap kinda guy, but when it comes to sneakers it’s a different story. I’m happy spending $25-$30 on sneakers. As long as they’re mostly white without any fantastical designs, I’m happy. I expect they’ll last a year or so and then I have to come up…

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  • Forbidden Time Zone: A NEW HOPE!

    America feels like it’s coming apart at the seams—and somehow, the guy holding the scissors isn’t good at cutting. But believe it or not, there’s a new hope in all this chaos. I’m stepping away from my usual storyline today for something different: an old-school opinion column. With everything spinning off the rails here in…

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  • killercon

    KillerCon What an amazing weekend I had. In fact amazing is quite the understatement. I have to confess I did have concerns as the morning prior to my departure I discover that the location changed. No longer was it to be held at the Palace Station but at the Stratosphere. Now bear in mind that…

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  • The Journey To HR, Part 65!

    “WHAT’S IN THE BOOOOOOOOOOX!” I screamed again, maybe hoping for an answer from HR. There wasn’t any. I opened the box. I did not look in the box. I squatted over the box. I pooped in the box. I found a leaf and wiped myself clean. I got up and closed the box. Again, I…

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