The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • Zeep In The City
    by Joshua Blanc
    -Sci-Fi – 3 Pages – Package runner Alpha One-Six, nicknamed `Zeep’ to endear him to Joe Public and his slobbering troglodyte family, had only been distracted for four hundredths of a second. But in that time, he’d somehow managed to collide with a stationary object; unwittingly knocking out his GPS, comm-link, and access to the…
  • In Green, Remembered
    by Christopher Nadeau
    I awoke knowing the link had been severed.  Tears stung my cheeks as I yanked the blankets off my body and stumbled out of bed, feeling sick and disoriented.                By the time I made it to the bathroom sink in anticipation of throwing up my late night trip to Taco Bell, the feeling had thankfully…
  • Ziontology
    by Mikel Davis
    By Mikel Davis “You slimy sack of fish shit!” Deputy Ploggard slammed his hairy fist down onto the grey metal table which separated the two men. His hand landed with such force that it left a fist-shaped dent in the middle of the table. The noise which followed echoed off…
  • “The New Job” by Rance Treakle
    by Rance Treakle
    [A Halloween Special from the 2003 Archives] I thought the devil was red and had a tail. I had braced myself for His appearance, His style, even His odor if need be. So what happens when I call Him? He shows up at my door in a three-piece suit, looking like a successful businessman. OK,…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • Shit Schmelnoz Says, Part π!
    by Spamrider
    My old friend Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible, who is a space alien from the future of an alternate timeline, has never been married.  In fact, he didn’t even know what marriage was until I explained it to him.  And the reason I had to explain it to him was because he overheard someone using the expression,…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 122!
    by Stephen Johnson
    The bear swiped at Bob who was in mid-twirl and knocked him to the ground. The mauling began as Bob shrieked. “A bear?” he asked between his shrieks as the mauling continued. “Where in the blue fuck did you get a bear?” “LANGUAGE!” shouted the HR lady. “Sorry,” Bob said meekly. “It’s just….a bear?” The…
  • Broken Promises…Part II
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramIf a trashy person talks nice, is it still trash talk? Like I mentioned last week, I like to keep my promises. But that don’t always go so good. This week, I’m seven years old and I’m spending he weekend at my grandma’s house. My grandma was kind of a mean person. But…
  • The Thieves of Time
    by Spamrider
    I know it’s been a few years now since I bitched about the time change but with all the recent rigamarole I figured it’s about time to start bitching again.  I can only lament that I don’t have my dear friend Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible around this time to chime in on the matter, though I…

Memes

Click here for the whole batch!

Comics

Bunch more here!

Random Strange Stories

  • Binkle Bunny in Dead People Taste Funny

    Andrew R.A. Owen – Humor – 6 Pages – The sun was setting over the Cummy Todge public house and a gentle wind whistled across the grass plains. Binkle Bunny sat outside on a bench, the fading light glistening off his metal parts and in his one infra-red eye. “What a beautiful, nay what a…

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  • THE SURFER

       For my wife and I the county of Cornwall was an ideal holiday location. Situated in the far west of England, its rugged shores and spectacular beaches had always produced the most memorable times for us. Like many other tourists, part of our affection for Cornwall lay in its wild frontier spirit. There was…

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  • Work It

    Work It Danny put the exercise video in, took a deep breath, then pushed play on the remote.  In moments Johnny Black was on the screen surrounded by his troupe of girls, all of them ready to sweat to the rhythm of cheesy bebop music. “Are you ready to sweat?,” he said pointing through the…

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  • Surprise Package

    – Sci-Fi – 1 Page – The crying was to be expected. The girls, after all, were only six years old and, despite their enhanced intelligence and intensive training, were still emotionally immature. And identical siblings often formed unusually strong bonds. In addition to leaving the only environment they had ever known, they would also…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • The Truth Plus A Special Gift

    The Tea Party—The Interzone Mantras MoTW—Tucker & Dale vs. Evil While I must thank Bob for thinking about me when the woman left mealone a couple weekends ago, I think it’s wise that I tell the realstory of what happened. Ok, so while it’s true that I am not allowed to use the microwave, oven,dishwasher,…

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  • Weekend With Schmelnoz

    So now that it’s all over I can finally tell you now the real reason I was in Texas. My best friend from The Future, Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible, arrived on earth approximately eighteen years ago, which was three weeks ago according to my own personal subjective experience of Time. Actually it feels more like three…

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  • Ho-Hum…Nice day, Huh?

    Follow bob on Twitter!orask bob a question! Last week was the last week of summer for the kids. On monday, we had open house for Baby Gurl I (no longer a baby). And daycare for Baby Gurl II (Montessori so she grows up smart). I take Gurl I to school. This year my goal is…

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  • The Journey To HR, Part 14!

    “YOU IDIOT!” She jumped up from the floor and shoved me back against one of those three walls. “Do you seriously believe that I would even think that Bob was the type of person to have a PERIOD? He’s a man!” “Well, a man-child…..” She ran backwards around the room as I tried to pry…

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  • How I Got Rich!!!

    Molly Hatchet—Justice MoTW—Pontypool Some of you may have noticed that Bob finally posted something new aftera few months. Kinda weird, I thought he was in prison (AGAIN) and had anoffice pool going where folks could pick the day he would get releasedand what he was in prison for. Sadly, that wasn't the case. I had…

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