The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • Zeep In The City
    by Joshua Blanc
    -Sci-Fi – 3 Pages – Package runner Alpha One-Six, nicknamed `Zeep’ to endear him to Joe Public and his slobbering troglodyte family, had only been distracted for four hundredths of a second. But in that time, he’d somehow managed to collide with a stationary object; unwittingly knocking out his GPS, comm-link, and access to the…
  • In Green, Remembered
    by Christopher Nadeau
    I awoke knowing the link had been severed.  Tears stung my cheeks as I yanked the blankets off my body and stumbled out of bed, feeling sick and disoriented.                By the time I made it to the bathroom sink in anticipation of throwing up my late night trip to Taco Bell, the feeling had thankfully…
  • Ziontology
    by Mikel Davis
    By Mikel Davis “You slimy sack of fish shit!” Deputy Ploggard slammed his hairy fist down onto the grey metal table which separated the two men. His hand landed with such force that it left a fist-shaped dent in the middle of the table. The noise which followed echoed off…
  • “The New Job” by Rance Treakle
    by Rance Treakle
    [A Halloween Special from the 2003 Archives] I thought the devil was red and had a tail. I had braced myself for His appearance, His style, even His odor if need be. So what happens when I call Him? He shows up at my door in a three-piece suit, looking like a successful businessman. OK,…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • Shit Schmelnoz Says, Part π!
    by Spamrider
    My old friend Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible, who is a space alien from the future of an alternate timeline, has never been married.  In fact, he didn’t even know what marriage was until I explained it to him.  And the reason I had to explain it to him was because he overheard someone using the expression,…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 122!
    by Stephen Johnson
    The bear swiped at Bob who was in mid-twirl and knocked him to the ground. The mauling began as Bob shrieked. “A bear?” he asked between his shrieks as the mauling continued. “Where in the blue fuck did you get a bear?” “LANGUAGE!” shouted the HR lady. “Sorry,” Bob said meekly. “It’s just….a bear?” The…
  • Broken Promises…Part II
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramIf a trashy person talks nice, is it still trash talk? Like I mentioned last week, I like to keep my promises. But that don’t always go so good. This week, I’m seven years old and I’m spending he weekend at my grandma’s house. My grandma was kind of a mean person. But…
  • The Thieves of Time
    by Spamrider
    I know it’s been a few years now since I bitched about the time change but with all the recent rigamarole I figured it’s about time to start bitching again.  I can only lament that I don’t have my dear friend Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible around this time to chime in on the matter, though I…

Memes

Click here for the whole batch!

Comics

Bunch more here!

Random Strange Stories

  • DEADSVILLE: RANDY

    by Eddie L. Whitlock -Sci-Fi – 10 Pages – Prologue By the time the sun set on the first full day of the crisis, Sheriff Tommy Jennings was no longer convinced that it was mass hysteria. He was convinced that he had done what politicians rarely did in the face of a crisis: He had…

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  • Hostage Situation

    2 Pages The muffled whispers were drowned out by the megaphone. The spotlight from the police chopper was shining down on the house, and bits of the light were filtering through the windows. The family I was holding hostage was beginning to piss me off with their incessant noise. I turned toward them and told…

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  • Rise of the Cyborgs

    See, the thing was that over time we made the machines more and more like us because we wanted the machines to be able to do all the things that we can do so that we wouldn’t have to do those things anymore.  Eventually this even came to include thinking. Now there is nothing inherently…

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  • The Cheeseburgers of Enlightenment

    Prologue: Billy Billy Johnson was a 14 year-old Caucasian who lived in the quiet, complacent suburb of Middleton, Wisconsin. He was Christian and heterosexual. He wore black Nike sneakers, Gap Jeans, an Abercrombie and Fitch t-shirt, Fruit of the Loom Underpants, and a Mickey Mouse hat. In his right hand he held a plate with…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • Am I a Hippocrate?

    Dear Bel, Am I a Hippocrate? -Larry Dear Larry, The degree of hypocrisy one possesses is equal to the absolute value of the difference between their beliefs and actions. Of course, it is not possible to actually measure these variables, but it sounds neat doesn’t it? It is my theory that humans have a natural…

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  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 9

    By Bob SenitramNon-stop nonsense for your reading pleasure… Previously, Dr. Benson heard about the warden’s deal with the Senator and sent Bob to meet with Dr. Hector. Bob shows up at Hector’s prison, flashes his FBI badge and tells the guards he just spoke with the warden and was asked to follow up. He didn’t…

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  • Your Support Is Appreciated!

    I would like to thank everyone who sent us email the last few days. Your support is very much appreciated, and we will try our best to satisfy each and every one of you. But not in that way. However, with the good comes the bad. Since we do not beg people to click on…

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  • The world according to Garp…

    Rather than sharing an interesting or even a moderately interesting story, I’m gonna give you my take on the world. Let’s start with Russia. Putin wants to take control of Ukraine. I say go ahead and let him have it. Since sanctions started, the rubel is half the value of what it was. Now Saudi…

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  • Trapped in Bob’s Closet, Part 106

    So it turns out Gary Coleman is a Dimension Lord who can get out of Bob’s closet any time he wants and in fact comes and goes as he pleases. The old Chick Shit chick doesn’t talk much. I think she’s got shellshock from some of the things Bob did to her. I guess they…

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