The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • White Room
    by Lee Sentes
    -Strange – 2 Pages – The room was white. The walls, ceiling and floor were white. The man sitting at the white table was dressed in white. The door opened. A robot entered. “Your Highness, Emperor Napoleon.” The man looked up and nodded imperially at the mirrored-face. “Warden Friend,” he returned sternly. “I hope you…
  • History of a Hot Sauce: The mysterious Origins of Wassabassco
    by R. Andrew Heidel
    by R. Andrew Heidel and William Morton Our recipe, and Kiki’s lineage, begins in Japan during the waning years of the Edo era when the Tokugawa Shogunate commissioned the Sushi Sensei to discover a wasabi hot enough for the emperor himself. After many years on his dangerous quest, the Sushi Sensei discovered a pure strain…
  • River People
    by Andy Henion
    -Strange – 2 Pages – As far as I can tell there are two types of Tennessee river people and they travel in competing packs and consume washed up fish or this ubiquitous leafy vegetation that I with my northern bearings will only later come to know as kudzu. There are the stoop-shouldered people who…
  • How Roger Hambone Missed His Big Chance
    by Randy Bone
    Roger Hambone despite his last name never learned to hambone. He was hamboneless. But he could eef like nobody’s business. People used to say his name should have been Roger Eef. They called him “Eefin’ Roger Hambone”. When he would eef it sounded like this: Ah ee, ah oh, ah ee, ah oh, [hic], ee,…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • The Song in Bob’s Head
    by Spamrider
  • A Small Birthday Break
    by Stephen Johnson
    This country has been around for 250 years. I’ve been alive around 39% of that. I obviously have no life, but have maybe seen some stuff. Like “Scanners”. A head blows up. Boom. Happy Birthday America????
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 2
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob Senitram“Thinking up the nonsense, and then some…” Before we continue on our scheduled programming…HAPPY 250TH BIRTHDAY USA!!!! We now resume regular programming. A few days later, the trainer’s on the phone with Dr. Benson. The man in charge of psychology…and shit. “I can’t stress this enough, we need someone expendable.” “We tried expanding…
  • Fair Warning
    by Spamrider
    I’ll give you fair warning before you read this column: I am about to get all religious and preach up and down the block and speak in tongues and raise hell and raise Cain and call down the fire and the brimstone. If this is the sort of thing that personally offends you I have…

Memes

Click here for the whole batch!

Comics

Bunch more here!

Random Strange Stories

  • The Cheeseburgers of Enlightenment

    Prologue: Billy Billy Johnson was a 14 year-old Caucasian who lived in the quiet, complacent suburb of Middleton, Wisconsin. He was Christian and heterosexual. He wore black Nike sneakers, Gap Jeans, an Abercrombie and Fitch t-shirt, Fruit of the Loom Underpants, and a Mickey Mouse hat. In his right hand he held a plate with…

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  • Head in the Sand

    Head in the sand by CMR Once upon a time there was an ostrich.  The ostrich had no concerns and was content to while away it’s days with it’s head in the sand.  It would awaken that way in the mornings and drift to sleep that way at night.  During the day it would seek…

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  • The Chatbot Chronicles, Part 1: A Lady Named Melvin and a Boy Named Sue

    The following is an actual, unedited “conversation” with an artificial intelligence chat bot.  The bot’s responses have been rendered in bold and italics.] There once were three beautiful ladies. Interesting! Is there anything else you would like to share about these ladies or is there a specific question you have in mind? The youngest lady’s…

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  • Evil’s Eye

    The huge opening seemed to breathe, and with each intake of breath its mouth seemed to open a little wider. Jenny closed her eyes. This was it. She felt the warm, sticky air wash over her body and took another step forward, her hands were moist with sweat and her heart was pounding in her…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • I Muse

    Talking about leaves as Bob did, I just use a lawnmower. That way, I don’t have to pick up anything. Just proves that he knows nothing so you might as well start asking me those questions. I was watching a Chuck Norris movie where he barges into a group of people doing some good ole…

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  • PS Gifford’s website

    Brick by brick By P.S. Gifford Ed paused from his task and took another long, steady swig from his bottle. “Boy, did I need that,” he said wiping spittle from his chin with the back of his hand, “another forty bricks or so should do it I reckon.” He returned the bottle safely to the…

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  • A Complete Waste Of Our Time

    Faith No More—Album Of The Year MoTW—Predators I really wanted to write about something important this week, maybesomething to do with politics or world affairs. Something important.Something that would make me seem halfway intelligent. Instead, I said fuck it and am going to write about what I did on BlackFriday! Since our new thing is…

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  • The Burial

    As I consumed my morning pot of tea and perused my copy of the daily telegraph I suddenly noted the date. Instantly my half awake brain became completely overcome with poignant, childhood memories. You see it was an almost unbelievable thirty years ago on this very date that I had to bid goodbye to Sebastian……

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  • Time creeps in!

    I have had a massive brain fart for the last few months…OK, years. Here’s the deal.  When I first started writing the column, 13 years ago, I was in my mid-thirties, married, an alchoholic, with the ol’ lady in grad school.  Basically, I had nothing else to do. Fast forward, I still have the web…

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