The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

  • Infinite Being — by Dovin Melhee
    Infinite Being By Dovin Melhee ————— There was an infinite being. Infinite in ability. Infinite in power. Infinite in knowledge. Infinite in intelligence. Infinite in possibility. Infinite and limitless in everything. The being considered itself and was satisfied that it was limitless, perfect and complete. But then the impossible happened. The being thought of something…
  • White Room
    -Strange – 2 Pages – The room was white. The walls, ceiling and floor were white. The man sitting at the white table was dressed in white. The door opened. A robot entered. “Your Highness, Emperor Napoleon.” The man looked up and nodded imperially at the mirrored-face. “Warden Friend,” he returned sternly. “I hope you…
  • History of a Hot Sauce: The mysterious Origins of Wassabassco
    by R. Andrew Heidel and William Morton Our recipe, and Kiki’s lineage, begins in Japan during the waning years of the Edo era when the Tokugawa Shogunate commissioned the Sushi Sensei to discover a wasabi hot enough for the emperor himself. After many years on his dangerous quest, the Sushi Sensei discovered a pure strain…
  • River People
    -Strange – 2 Pages – As far as I can tell there are two types of Tennessee river people and they travel in competing packs and consume washed up fish or this ubiquitous leafy vegetation that I with my northern bearings will only later come to know as kudzu. There are the stoop-shouldered people who…

Columns

  • DO NOT BE ALARMED
    DO NOT BE ALARMED There is a seven and 33/42nds dimension beyond that which is known to Science. It is a dimension as vast and timeless as infinity and twice as sexy. It is the middle ground between wakefulness and sleep, between classical and quantum physics, and it lies between the pit of man’s stomach…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 110!
    “Where am I?” Bob asked after he was done with the belching, groaning and flatulence. The HR lady walked over to him and looked down. “IN MY OFFICE!” she declared. Bob tried to get up but she pushed him back down with a foot. “Why?” he asked. It must have been the way he asked…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 4
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, ’cause, that’s my job… Bob just made it to the exit gate when Hector calls out. “Agent Senitram! I can give you more than Hopalong Hank!” Bob stops. “I can provide what you desire the most!” Hector says slyly. Bob swiftly walks back to Hector’s cell. “And what’s that…Dr.…
  • So I Guess I Can Talk About This Now
    [Editor’s Note: I found this weeks Spamrider column in an unopened box of Count Chocula. What I mean is I opened the box and there it was. My wife had just brought it home for me from the grocery store and just in case you’re thinking there was some fishy business there were witnesses the…

Memes

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Comics

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Random Strange Stories

  • Witches of Rascar Pablo: Part III

    Witches of Rascar Pablo: Part IIIBy Kristopher LawrenceEdited by Gao Rong Chapter 10: Katatòn Y en cuanto a los que se encuentranbajo la luna de Kataton,Evadan la exaltación,y tengan cuidado con el quetzlcoatlus. And concerning those who find themselvesbeneath the Katatonian moon,Evade the exaltation,and beware the quetzalcoatlus. ∞ : ∞ @# ijđæ, ĦǮ ∞, ЊҨ…

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  • A Balloon Animal With Pizza Feet

    I had a headache the size of Mount Rushmore. What made it all the more worser was the fact that my head was smaller than usual that day. I don’t know how it happens-sometimes I fall asleep in front of the open window and the cool winter breeze gradually shrinks my head while I am…

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  • My Robot is Bad

    I arrived back at my hotel to find a message had been slipped under my door, but I forget about it because there is also a woman bound up, inverted, and hanging from my ceiling, the ropes covering very little of her naked flesh. I don’t know whether to call for help, tell her to…

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  • No Small Thing

    By Tom Shay The ebb and flow of pedestrians made Sascha seasick. Schools of cars passed down the road, staring at the throng. No bird is as free as me, she mused. With ruddy hand she cleared her eyes. In the distance construction continued, but the creation only added to the dead weight pulling on…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • Fresher Than Bob’s!

    Noticed that Bob posted his column on Saturday so that he could TRY to divert the attention to him. What a fool. Since I’m posting this Sunday afternoon, mine’s fresher. Therefore, the attention is back to me, as it should be. HA! He tried to make a funny about me passing gas and it’s so…

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  • The 2008 Roadtrip: Part 1

    Opeth—Watershed MoTW—It's Alive Another year and another roadtrip done. I know you're thrilled and ready to read about this latest trip. It's adoozy, I'm tellin' ya! A real DOOZY! So here goes: Sunday, 4:25 am est: Wanted to leave at 3 am, but didn't. That was theplan and that's what I told the woman knowing…

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  • Aliens, Jail and Probes, Oh my…

    When I got home early Sunday morning from work, I was surprised when I noticed that Ralph was not home. I called around the trailer park but nobody knew where he went. I finally went to bed figuring that he probably went hunting and forgot to tell me. He finally showed up early Sunday afternoon.…

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  • Jerome Doesn’t Live Here Anymore

    In the last story of Jerome, I picked him up on a corner after receiving a phone call. He was frantically going on about how “They’re out to get him…” Jerome looked like the last 15 years have been pretty hard on him. He had a backpack with a few possessions and some clothes, he…

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  • That Was A Roadtrip Column??!!

    Hahahaha! Looks like Bob TRIED to write a roadtrip column and miserably failed. Go ahead and give it a read. I’ll wait. See what I mean? Where’s the actual roadtrip? Why are we getting crap about Santa and toenails and dumpsters (which is true, but he failed to mention it was a KFC dumpster that…

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