The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

  • Infinite Being — by Dovin Melhee
    Infinite Being By Dovin Melhee ————— There was an infinite being. Infinite in ability. Infinite in power. Infinite in knowledge. Infinite in intelligence. Infinite in possibility. Infinite and limitless in everything. The being considered itself and was satisfied that it was limitless, perfect and complete. But then the impossible happened. The being thought of something…
  • White Room
    -Strange – 2 Pages – The room was white. The walls, ceiling and floor were white. The man sitting at the white table was dressed in white. The door opened. A robot entered. “Your Highness, Emperor Napoleon.” The man looked up and nodded imperially at the mirrored-face. “Warden Friend,” he returned sternly. “I hope you…
  • History of a Hot Sauce: The mysterious Origins of Wassabassco
    by R. Andrew Heidel and William Morton Our recipe, and Kiki’s lineage, begins in Japan during the waning years of the Edo era when the Tokugawa Shogunate commissioned the Sushi Sensei to discover a wasabi hot enough for the emperor himself. After many years on his dangerous quest, the Sushi Sensei discovered a pure strain…
  • River People
    -Strange – 2 Pages – As far as I can tell there are two types of Tennessee river people and they travel in competing packs and consume washed up fish or this ubiquitous leafy vegetation that I with my northern bearings will only later come to know as kudzu. There are the stoop-shouldered people who…

Columns

  • The New Devil’s Dictionary
    Cat (n):  Man’s best frenemy.
  • DO NOT BE ALARMED
    DO NOT BE ALARMED There is a seven and 33/42nds dimension beyond that which is known to Science. It is a dimension as vast and timeless as infinity and twice as sexy. It is the middle ground between wakefulness and sleep, between classical and quantum physics, and it lies between the pit of man’s stomach…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 110!
    “Where am I?” Bob asked after he was done with the belching, groaning and flatulence. The HR lady walked over to him and looked down. “IN MY OFFICE!” she declared. Bob tried to get up but she pushed him back down with a foot. “Why?” he asked. It must have been the way he asked…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 4
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, ’cause, that’s my job… Bob just made it to the exit gate when Hector calls out. “Agent Senitram! I can give you more than Hopalong Hank!” Bob stops. “I can provide what you desire the most!” Hector says slyly. Bob swiftly walks back to Hector’s cell. “And what’s that…Dr.…

Memes

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Comics

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Random Strange Stories

  • The Pheasant

    6 Pages Mr. Schwartz has a stuffed pheasant on his desk. So he’s a little eccentric. Well, he is, but the pheasant’s evil.I seem to find everything evil, even those baby dolls for the parenting class. Those beady little eyes, staring up at you… A few people do believe it, though. Like Martine, Lindsey, Kristin,…

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  • And Thanks for the Chicken

    Derik Taylor – 18 Pages – Smelling his armpit, he regrets not taking a shower or at least putting on some deodorant/anti-perspirant. Now he is too close to the door just to turn around and go back upstairs. A minute passes and it becomes crystal that no matter how much cooler he is then this…

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  • OLD AGE

    by Erin Renee Hune Glover -Strange – 2 Pages – The room smells of poverty, rot, and old age. A heap of yellowed, tattered blankets begins to stir on a yellowed, tattered couch. The blankets are thrown back, and a wave of body odor and old-person smell invades the room. A woman, more wrinkled than…

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  • Shipmates

     Scott descended the ladder, rung by rung, down into the submarine, a blast of heat hitting him from below.  He walked the narrow passageway, steel-toed boots stepping solidly, weaving and bending to avoid hitting his close shaven head on a maze of pipes.  He had gotten used to keeping an eye out for looming metal,…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • A Movie And A Frog

    Van Canto—Tribe Of Force MoTW—Frat Party Gotta apologise first for taking three weeks before posting somethingnew. Don't know why that happened, maybe it's the weather and working onthe lawn and shit like that, or I was just lazy. Either way, it won'thappen again, at least until the next time it happens. WIth that out of…

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  • Soccer Moms

    It amazes me that everyone is worried about Elian, Microsoft, if God is real, will Oprah get really, really fat again, etc., when there is a more serious problem that plagues normal people every day of their life: Those bitches in the minivans. These so called “soccer moms” have no business being on the road,…

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  • Whole Lotta Poops Goin On…

    Sandy writes:Hi Bob! I have this problem I hope you can help me with. My husband, Steve, has the smelliest poops ever known to man! Sometimes the smell just floats out of the bathroom and makes the whole house small like a smelly gas station bathroom. In the winter time, we can’t open the windows…

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  • Howdy From Texas!

    Howdy from Texas everybody! Wow…everything really IS bigger in Texas! Even my wiener!!!!!!!

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  • I Know? Or Do I Not? Know?

    Black Star Riders–All Hell Breaks Loose MoTW–The Divide Well, there goes my fun. My jeans experience was not as well received as the previous sneakers experience. This leads me to believe that more people care about sneakers than jeans. That’s wrong. Don’t ask my why, it just is. I’ll let you think about it for…

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