The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

  • Zeep In The City
    -Sci-Fi – 3 Pages – Package runner Alpha One-Six, nicknamed `Zeep’ to endear him to Joe Public and his slobbering troglodyte family, had only been distracted for four hundredths of a second. But in that time, he’d somehow managed to collide with a stationary object; unwittingly knocking out his GPS, comm-link, and access to the…
  • In Green, Remembered
    I awoke knowing the link had been severed.  Tears stung my cheeks as I yanked the blankets off my body and stumbled out of bed, feeling sick and disoriented.                By the time I made it to the bathroom sink in anticipation of throwing up my late night trip to Taco Bell, the feeling had thankfully…
  • Ziontology
    By Mikel Davis “You slimy sack of fish shit!” Deputy Ploggard slammed his hairy fist down onto the grey metal table which separated the two men. His hand landed with such force that it left a fist-shaped dent in the middle of the table. The noise which followed echoed off…
  • “The New Job” by Rance Treakle
    [A Halloween Special from the 2003 Archives] I thought the devil was red and had a tail. I had braced myself for His appearance, His style, even His odor if need be. So what happens when I call Him? He shows up at my door in a three-piece suit, looking like a successful businessman. OK,…

Columns

  • The Way I Remember It
    Before everything gets all crazy and nobody knows what’s real and what’s not anymore, this is the way I remember it all happening. George W. Bush was such a stinking rotten President* that America actually elected a Black guy rather than electing another Republican. This absolutely drove all the latent and blatant racists batshit crazy.…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 123!
    Us, being the fine human beings we were, decided Bob could tag along. We wrestled him from the wolverine’s onslaught, tossed him into a pet carrier and went on our merry way. “ID?” asked the bouncer as we entered to strip club. After we showed him ours and he had commented me on how young…
  • Broken Promises: Part III, The Final Insult…
    By Bob SenitramJust some guy who has no idea what he’s doing…. Back when I was young, I lived by the motto that a man’s word is his bond. Unfortunately, I wasn’t real big on discretion. Turns out, there’s a difference between being a man of your word and being too damn stupid to know…
  • Shit Schmelnoz Says, Part π!
    My old friend Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible, who is a space alien from the future of an alternate timeline, has never been married.  In fact, he didn’t even know what marriage was until I explained it to him.  And the reason I had to explain it to him was because he overheard someone using the expression,…

Memes

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Comics

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Random Strange Stories

  • RATS, REDNECKS, & RETRIBUTION

    by ROB ROSEN -Strange – 3 Pages – “Think we lost ’em, Cletus?” “Yep, Jeb. Think so. They ain’t never gonna find us up here. Countryside’s too dense and thick.” “Kinda like you, Cletus, huh?” His brother jabbed him in the ribs as they maneuvered their way through the prickly underbrush. “Oh, you’re a funny…

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  • Shipmates

     Scott descended the ladder, rung by rung, down into the submarine, a blast of heat hitting him from below.  He walked the narrow passageway, steel-toed boots stepping solidly, weaving and bending to avoid hitting his close shaven head on a maze of pipes.  He had gotten used to keeping an eye out for looming metal,…

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  • The Tadpole Revolution

    Jimmy K. heard of the eating establishment known as Tadpoles and decided to give it a try one sultry evening in mid-August. The restaurant was in a nondescript part of town, really quite close to an everyman’s suburbian neighborhood. It was an easy place to drive by if you did not know it was there.…

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  • A Bad Haircut

    Note from Editor: This one is as sad as it is creepy. It was originally submitted 12 yrs ago, by an unknown author named Seth. Excerpt: He stared at his face in the small square mirror, the door to a diminutive medicine cabinet, built for a bachelor. A quick smile over his idiotic behavior transformed…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • The New Devil’s Dictionary

    The New Devil’s Dictionary by Spamrider of the Apocalypse. Corporation:  A legal entity consisting of persons who have banded together in order to collectively escape personal responsibility for the commission of crimes for which if committed individually they would be hung out to dry.

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  • Some Tidbits

    If you only do one thing today, please remember to visit Deborah Foreman’s site which has some really cool stuff. We have provided a link located (kind of) to the right. We will not be posting anything new next Wednesday or the following Sunday, since we will be scouting locations for the big budget “Weirdcrap.go.cc:…

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  • Just a Blog…

    Well as about six people may have noticed last week, I did not post a blog. I wrote one, but decided not to post it…it just wasn’t worth it. It was about Alberto Gonzales stepping down and Bush’s loosing administration. But five years ago, that had some shock value, now it’s just the same ol’…

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  • My Latest Haircut

    I got one of those haircut things this weekend. Went to my hairdresser who works out of her home. Drove over there and got there in good time since traffic was light. Was greeted by a dog when I walked up the driveway. It was nice, didn’t attack me or anything. Waited until I was…

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  • Our First Column of Chick Shit without Melissa!

    Well, here we go. A new era has begun. With the death of Melissa, we asked for you, our wonderful, loyal reader, to go ahead and send us a commentary. And, boy, did we ever receive a few. It took us minutes to read them all and pick the best. So, read on. Hi. My…

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