The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

  • In Green, Remembered
    I awoke knowing the link had been severed.  Tears stung my cheeks as I yanked the blankets off my body and stumbled out of bed, feeling sick and disoriented.                By the time I made it to the bathroom sink in anticipation of throwing up my late night trip to Taco Bell, the feeling had thankfully…
  • Ziontology
    By Mikel Davis “You slimy sack of fish shit!” Deputy Ploggard slammed his hairy fist down onto the grey metal table which separated the two men. His hand landed with such force that it left a fist-shaped dent in the middle of the table. The noise which followed echoed off…
  • “The New Job” by Rance Treakle
    [A Halloween Special from the 2003 Archives] I thought the devil was red and had a tail. I had braced myself for His appearance, His style, even His odor if need be. So what happens when I call Him? He shows up at my door in a three-piece suit, looking like a successful businessman. OK,…
  • THE MICROWAVED CHICKEN HEART
    The Microwaved Chicken Heart bellowed in triumph as his hideous six-inch fangs tore through the President’s colon. The Chief Executive shrieked in agony; his hopes for a pleasant Wednesday shattered in a few bloody moments. “I don’t believe I’m going to be re-elected,” he whimpered brokenly. The day had dawned so calm and fresh, like…

Columns

  • The Bullshit Machine
    What humanity has created with AI is the ultimate bullshit machine. Everything it creates is bullshit. But creating bullshit is the easy part.  The difference with AI is that it creates bullshit that is ever more and more believable. And we are gobbling it up even as it’s being force-fed to us. We’ve already gobbled…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 119!
    “Probably not,” I said as the torn apart body parts began to move around, connecting with each other until Bob was whole again. “See?” The HR lady sighed. “Look,” she said. “This has gone on long enough. If it was being written in parts here and there for some website that nobody ever visits, we…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 13!
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, and then some… Hopalong, aka Stephen burst thru the door with a gun pointed at the head of Bob’s trainer from the academy. “Nameless trainer guy, wwwwwwww-what are you doing here?” Bob says, surprised. “You think Benson would trust your sorry ass in this case! He sent me down…
  • Stupid
    People say this is the stupidest timeline and truth be told they aren’t that far off from being correct. But there is at least one even stupider*.  I know because I got stuck in it one time. Now at this point you may be thinking to yourself, “This guy sure gets himself stuck in a…

Memes

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Comics

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Random Strange Stories

  • I Want My Alien Back!

    Sci-Fi – 9 Pages “He’s not in Area 51? What do you mean he’s not in Area 51?” said Lou Diamond’s wife. “Then you better go after him.” “But, honey, I-“ “No!” she insisted angrily, her finger outstretched and pointing at the front door. “No buts! Go back to wherever your friggin’ beer-guzzling astronaut friend…

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  • Level Nine

    -Strange – 1 page – Elizabeth all at once had opened her eyes and felt strangely rested. She allowed her retinas to adjust to the bright warm light and began to scrutinize her unexpected surroundings. She experienced a tinge of panic as she did not only did not know where she was but had absolutely…

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  • The Manhood Test

    Note from the Editor: The Manhood Test was written back in 2000, before virtual reality was invented. Jonathan looked out of place among the other boys in his crowd. for one thing, he did not wear glasses. Thanks to years of computer use, most children were near sighted by the time they were Jonathan’s age,…

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  • Functional Family

    2 Pages Writers struggle for the right words, the right feeling. It isn’t always easy and often, life is a series of struggles that have to be overcome. For one young writer, his family shares in his downfall. Wichita Lineman by Glen Campbell is slowly coming to an end in this idyllic setting. The strings…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • Press The Button, Pull The String And Watch Him Dance!

    Lacuna Coil—Shallow Life MoTW—Confessions Of A Superhero So it came to this. Instead of being a man (a rather short one at that),Mr. Goateed spunk decided he would drag children into his stupiddumbheaded accusation of my supposed inability to read. Instead of being a man and gathering up all available pikes, chains andlentils in order…

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  • Wait. Did He Mention Jerome?

    If you read the latest column from Bob (mostly filled with lies, as usual) and made it to the very, very end, you might have noticed what’s coming next from him. And you’re probably asking yourself, “Jerome? He’s still around?” Your guess is as good as mine. When we went into deep isolation around 10…

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  • Just a Blog…

    Well as about six people may have noticed last week, I did not post a blog. I wrote one, but decided not to post it…it just wasn’t worth it. It was about Alberto Gonzales stepping down and Bush’s loosing administration. But five years ago, that had some shock value, now it’s just the same ol’…

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  • The Guinea Pigging Continues

    Winger—IV MoTW—Axe The woman on The Weather Channel looked particularly fetching that dayand that, combined with the semi-clothed woman in the issue of GoodHousekeeping, caused quite the buildup and then quite the explosion whenI had no choice but to give in and release. So great was this release that I lost total control. My hand…

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  • Job Hunting…

    This week I decided to go job hunting and… WE INTERRUPT THIS COLUMN TO BRING YOU AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT! GREAT NEWS!!! I get several emails a week asking, “what about this, and what about that…” and every so often, why aren’t there more columns! <WARNING: Shameful endorsements coming> Each week TheWeirdcrap.com audience of 3 get…

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