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Eventually the wig was no longer tolerable, which among
other things in their lives, led to a sea change in attitude regarding their situation. They had been home schooled
through twelfth grade on a grant from the state and the time had come for them to decide what to do with their
lives together. I tried to convince Kelley to continue on to college, however difficult it might be. For the first
time in my life, I saw an unfamiliar distance in her eyes as she conceded to her sister. Kyley then turned about
to face me, saying they had both decided the most sensible place for them was in the public eye. They both concluded
that there was no reason to deny themselves the money and international fame, which their one in a trillion bodily
configuration would inevitably grant them. This was simply their destiny in the world and they have at last made
peace with it.
I found myself crying out in silent pain as I twisted the sheets of my bed that night. Tears finally erupted into
my pillow, completely soaking it.
As soon as they made themselves accessible to the world, there was no time lost in providing them with every outlet
of the public media. You might remember their skyrocketing publicity vehicles. There was the wildly popular documentary
in addition to the constant nationally broadcast interviews, entertainment engagements and guest appearances.
I remember reading the scores of widely published articles. There was one in particular, regarding their sexual
fantasies and the techniques they both used to achieve orgasm. I knew at that moment they had truly gone too far
in allowing themselves to be exploited. How much more remaining dignity were they willing to sacrifice?
My friend, my dear friend Kelley had disappeared from my life to lend credence to the fact that our society was
no more humanistic than it was during the heyday of the carnival freak shows at the turn of the 19th century.
Why am I telling you this? If your heart had been broken by such torment, would you not seek consolation?
I turned to education and the social life of college in an attempt to do so. I was at University of the Pacific
the year my life began to break apart. It was not a remarkable period due mostly to the fact that I seemed to have
absolutely no idea what I wanted to do with my future.
To confound matters all the more, my hopes at having a new friend to confide in were dashed to pieces when she
was diagnosed with an aggressive form of melanoma. She opted to return home, leaving me under the pressing weight
of a wilting depression. All the while, I never received a single correspondence from Kelley, save for a brief
phone call from a hotel room in Las Vegas.
I eventually dropped out of my third semester and settled for a job back in Portland as an account executive at
a small marketing firm. The apartment I moved into was substandard at best, but affordable. My meals rotated between
frozen dinners and cold cuts. It was during these lonely months that I made the most startling discovery of my
life. I began to realize that I too was born with a conjoined twin.
She had been with me all along, never alluding to her presence. It was actually quite a tremendous relief to become
aware of her. I also became clear as to why Kelley and I were so close. She somehow must have known that we shared
a similar condition. What made my situation different, however, was that there were no physical manifestations
external of my body. My twin sister lived internally, as we shared only our brain between us.
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