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Maculate Conception!

Maculate Conception - 05/20/03
By Bel Garion
Published each Tuesday

Dear Bel,

I have been a chemist now, testing water quality and doing pointless things with fish, for close to ten years. I think the work has finally gotten to me. I have fallen victim to a re-occurring nightmare in which I am tied to a chair in a dark room, that I understand to be locked. There are thin green gossamer things hanging from the ceiling. I am blindfolded but I know my surroundings. In the dream, I see through the eyes of a thing that resides in the corner above and behind the chair, in which I am bound. The thing in the corner descends, plunges a sharp clawed tail or tentacle into my back, tears out a portion of my spine, grows into it a little, enters my back pulling in the section of spine behind it and seals the hole. Then I Wake. Bel, what does all this mean and what can I do to stop these dreams.

-Alex



Dear Alex,

Dreams that disturbing in detail are usually prophetic in some way; if I had that dream, I would kill myself before it came true. I have a buddy that was really surprised when I told him that free state park admission day was coming up in Florida. He said to
me, No shit. He asked me if Disney had the same deal going and I told him, Sure. And he believed me. Since youre a chemist and probably arent superstitious at all, you probably dont believe in things like evil Gods or monsters. Unfortunately, they believe in you. I asked them, If I told you there was this guy on earth named Alex who was having nightmares of being mutilated by some monster that has a fetish for spines, would you believe me? All they did was knowingly chuckle, Pointless things with fish. You are so screwed buddy, sorry.

-Bel

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