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Maculate Conception - 04/01/03
By Bel Garion
Published each Tuesday

WAARRR! It's faaantastic!

I believe in democracy, but democracy in America has become nothing more than a way to get people to oppress themselves. We have saturated it so much with our own greed that we now feel justified in forcing it on other nations. Bel, I dont believe we are in Iraq for humanitarian reasons. I think we are there to bring stability to the region only so our rich can exploit the wealth of the nation. What do you think?


Dear D.R.,

With money we squeeze from the peasants we can commission a symphony in C or finally get to kill Saddam. Screw democracy, Bush wants blood and he is going to get it.

My neighbor likes to talk out on her balcony when she is on the phone. I guess she thinks I like to listen, because when I open my balcony door (I live upstairs) she moves inside to continue her so very private conversation. She freaked out when I hung a microphone, on a black string, off the side of my balcony. She called the cops and no doubt accused me of something horrible. The cop pulled the microphone off the string and came up to give it to me. His name was D. Rumsfeld, and when I opened the door he gave me my microphone and a very impatient look. I smiling I asked, No peace in our time?

After the officer and I had a couple of drinks and cried about our loved ones over seas I went out to the balcony and re-hung the mike.

Hope this helps,


Email Bel!






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