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Maculate Conception!

Maculate Conception - 9/24/02
By Bel Garion
Published each Tuesday

Dear Bel,

My friend and I have started playing racquetball and enjoy it a great deal. We also like to run. With the weather beginning to cool off, we have found that we cannot go running and expect to find an available racquetball court when we return. I would like to know if you have any bright ideas on how we could "reserve" the court until we return from our run. I know it is selfish for us to want to do this, but really no one out there sucks as bad as we do and we really need one of the closed courts to be able to play.

-Eric



Dear Eric,

Your question has disturbed me a great deal, and I must say that I have had a hard time deciding whether to endorse or condemn your efforts. Your words convey a repugnant kind of conspiratorial selfish intent, but are endearing in that there is an honest sincerity that I cannot dismiss. I have decided that I will help you. First I suggest you try hanging an "Out of Order" or "Do not Enter" sign on the door of the court. Not many people question such signs, even when unsigned, perceiving some undefined danger on the other side of the closed portal. If that does not work you could always just take a crap in the court you wish to "Reserve". Just be prepared to clean it up before you play. I recommend bringing some Frebreeze and a pooper-scooper in the car with you to the park.

-Bel


Email Bel!
webmaster@theweirdcrap.com

 

 

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