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Maculate Conception!

Maculate Conception - 8/06/02
By Bel Garion
Published each Tuesday

Dear Bel,

The other day I went to a party with my wife and some of my close friends. When we walked in the door, I recognised a girl that I went on one date with, during which I determined the she was evil, and never talked to again. This woman flirted with me shamelessly at the party, the entire time we were there, in front of my wife, who had murder in her eyes. My wife has never been an angry person, until now. I am worried that she is going to kill the woman. She keeps asking me where the "evil red haired bitch" lives and has been spending a lot of time in pawn shops looking "for a new TV" lately. What should I do Bel?

-Jon



Dear Jon,

Well, hmmm, either all redheads are the same or I have met this woman. Anyway, your wife wants to kill her, so I suggest you let her. If you tell her no, or attempt to deny her what she knows in her heart is the right thing to do, she may displace her anger with this woman onto you and that would be bad. It has been my expierence that red headed women are more prone to demon possession than most; especially when they have chickmunk cheeks. Start thinking about what you are going to do with the body.

Hope this helps,
-Bel

Coming Next: The Big Kaluah!


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