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Conception - 06/04/02

By Bel Garion
Published each Tuesday

Dear Bel,

You're probably going to kill me or eat my soul or something for saying this...but...I really don't like Star Wars.

The first one was decent, because of Harrison Ford's acting, and a focus on 'action', rather than 'fantasy'. Empire Strikes Back had no begining, and no ending. So it didn't make much sence. Not to mention some terrible bits of overacting. I didn't mind Return of the Jedi, but only because I loved the AT-AT Scout Walkers (chicken walkers). The ewoks made me feel like I was watching a Disney film. The remastered theatrical rereleases did nothing constructive for the films but to show off the improved special effects, and to keep intrest in the Saga from fading. And Episode One, was a total joke. I don't hold much hope for Episode two: Attack of the Clones, which I have yet to see.

- Alex

Dear "Alex",

You sir are entitled to your opinions...
This is America after all...
You wrote in to me so you can't be all that bad...

But you are horribly dammed Alex, unforgivibly, irrevokably, dammed. Your soul WILL know the torment of the worm that never dies. Your thirst will NEVER be quenched. And you will have to watch me from your special place in hell, as I drink cool frosty Coke from a Special Limited Edition Star Wars cup from accross the viod that seperates the heavenly realms from the depths of hell.

And that's not all, but it's enough.


COMING NEXT: If I save my soul, can I use it later?

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