This morning I discovered several cockroaches in the middle of the kitchen floor. They had toothpicks stuck though
their bodies and were suspended off the floor. After looking at them more closely, I saw that the toothpicks were
barbed like tiny spears. What is more disturbing was that someone had bored little holes in the tile for the bottom
quarter of the toothpicks to rest in. My floor is ruined! Help!
-Larry in WA
The whole world is at war against terror. Even in your kitchen. There were obviously some terrorist roaches under
your fridge and the Gnomes came for them. I have a Gnome patrolling my house right now; he carries a little barbed
toothpick. He says that he is on the lookout for terrorist activity, and seems friendly enough, so I let him come
and go as he pleases.
I think it all started when I buried two of my fish in the front yard, because I found a little thank you note
written in ancient Hebrew with tiny hands near thier graves. Every since then I have been seeing little Gnome campfires
in the field that surrounds my house. All I know for sure Larry is that you and I are safe... from the little things
COMING NEXT: Neoclassicism
makes a comeback!