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Maculate Conception!

Maculate
Conception - 02/19/02

By Bel Garion
Published each Tuesday


Dear Bel,

My company has "volunteered" some of us to do some roadside clean up. You wouldn't believe the crap people throw from their cars. I'd like to put up a sign or something to deter people from littering so much. Any ideas as to what the sign could say?

-Sticky



Dear Sticky,

There is this guy who usually manages to get in front of me on the way to work. He used to throw banana peels out of his car. This really pissed me off but I would usually just scream at whoever was walking on the side of the road, "Hey, buddy, you look hungry, there's a banana peel down the road..."
But one morning I got a little out of hand. Something about the way he just casually tossed the banana peel from his car just made me snap. I slammed my foot on the gas, zipped out in front of him, got out of the car, and started screaming and pawing at my face like a mad man. The "Banana Man" slammed on his breaks and started honking for ME to get out of the road. His tune changed pretty quick when his nose was in some banana peel and I was smacking him around with an old newspaper.

However, you seem to have a cooler head than I, so I suggest that you do use a sign. Nothing official. Something that reads, "Litter fine $1000" should suffice.

Hope this helps,

-Bel


COMING NEXT: We just decide to give up!


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