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Maculate Conception!

Maculate
Conception - 01/22/02

By Bel Garion
Published each Tuesday


Dear Bel,

Recently I came down with a really bad cold. I felt like my brain was trying to crawl out of my nose. A friend of mine recommended Robitussin CF, so I tried it. Within 2 minutes all the mucus was completely gone!

Where did it all go Bel?

-Stacy




Dear Stacy,

The makers of Robitussin made a pact with the devil. They wanted to make a drug that actually works and did not want to sell their souls to do it (unlike the makers of NY-QUIL). The deal was that they would provide the devil with a constant supply of fresh mucus in return for the product. If you look at the active ingredients you find the term "Guaifenesin", which is actually a scrambled Atlantian phrase, "Sine ega funi", which roughly translated means, "The only sacrifice that son of a bitch is getting from us is our piss, shit, and ooze."

Hope this helps.

-Bel



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