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Maculate 2002

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Maculate Conception!

Maculate
Conception - 01/08/02

By Bel Garion
Published each Tuesday


Dear Bel,

My neighbor, Bruce, still hasn't taken down his plastic xmas decorations. Quite frankly, I am sick of it. My wife is ready to kill the bastard. What should I do?

-Tom



Dear Tom,

This Christmas, I went all out. My wife and I always like to decorate the yard for the holidays. This year I rented a deer and trained it to stand still while lighted. This worked out well because people who like to "ooo ahhh" Christmas decorations annoy me. All I had to do when a crowd gathered was switch off the lights and that deer would run 'em off.

As for your neighbor, I would just go and talk to him. Offer to help him take in his decorations. If he declines, come back with your wife, and ask again. I am sure that if she really wants to kill him, he will see the glint in her eye and decide that it's time. Hope this helps.

-Bel


Dear Bel,

I got a Playstation 2 for Christmas. My wife says she will leave me if continue to blow her off so that I can play. I can't help myself. All we would do with out the PS2 is watch TV anyway. She bought it for me, I don't get it, what should I do?

-Jason



Dear Jason,

You, Sir, are a whiny little bitch. But the solution is simple. Let her play. She will become hooked and understand what you are going through.

-Bel



COMING NEXT: Getting Ready for Valentines day and Assorted Crap!

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