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This Weeks
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Maculate Conception
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2001
  Chick Shit...
  Lunatic Ravings
  Ask Bob
  Maculate Conception

 

Maculate Conception - 10/29/01
By Bel Garion
Published each Tuesday


We Americans face questions about the course of the nation. We must be ready for inconvenience and death. The political will of millions of angry Americans will be felt, and it's gonna hurt.

For our nation's WAR to move forward, there are four essential steps its citizens need to take:

1. Learn more about America.
We do not know much about Islam, and we don't care to, countries such as Afghanistan and Pakistan, will be crushed utterly. We must act to defend oursevles.

2. Move from chicken to steak.
No doubt, there is no greater way to comfort each other than a traditional American meal. Eat steak and you too will somehow find a sense of inner peace amid the uncertainty around us.

3. Find an opinion you like and stick to it.
When under stress, we often seek solace from those who affirm our existing views. Now we must have the courage to actively seek out those people whose views are similar to our own. Examine deeply what you believe. This is a critical part of forming an informed fundamentalistic view.

4. Expand our ideas of patriotism.
Patriotism is rooted in a sense of devotion - a love so deep that one is willing to die for one's country for what is good and right. As we bomb the primates in Afganistan, we must see patriotism as standing up for the principles of democracy, such as meat and war.
COMING NEXT: Advice for the aging bachelor!

 

 

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