Weirdcrap eMail . . Contact Us . . Search The Web

Translate The Weirdcrap!

Home

Stories

Lunatics

Entertainment Online

Comics

Arcade

Links

Free Mail


     

M
A
C
U
L
A
T
E


C
O
N
C
E
P
T
I
O
N

 

Add to your Favorites or Make your Homepage 

 

This Weeks
Commentaries:
Maculate Conception
Chick Shit for Chic Chicks
Lunatic Ravings
Ask Bob
   
The Archives:
2001
  Chick Shit...
  Lunatic Ravings
  Ask Bob
  Maculate Conception

 

Maculate Conception - 09/04/01
By Bel Garion
Published each Tuesday


Dear Bel:

I am a 35-year-old, twice-divorced male with four wonderful kids. My track record with marriage hasn't been terrific, so now I am very careful about finding the right woman.

Last year, I became involved with "Lucy." She has been supportive and wonderful to me. She stood by me through some difficult times, and I would not have made it without her. Last week, I asked her to marry me. She said yes, with a few conditions. She made it very clear that she would never marry me as long as I was involved in raising my children. She agrees that I could pay child support, but says she doesn't want my time spent on anyone except the two of us and her pet snake.

Lucy is beautiful and smart, and I love her, but I am torn. I don't want to abandon my children, and the snake almost looks like it has a human head. In fact, I could have sworn I heard it whisper, "The god of the Hebrews is dead."

I am really freaking out. But I don't want to lose Lucy. She may be the best shot I have for a future with someone. Please give me some of your saintly advice.

-- Jeff

Dear Jeff: If you think you are feeling "torn" now, just wait until you experience Hell. The woman is both a servant of the Dark One and a control freak. She is clearly evil to ask a father to abandon his children is selfish beyond belief. Here is my advice. Buy an ax and kill the snake, perhaps then "Lucy" will see the light. If not, I am sure other women will hear of your heroic deed and become infatuated with you.

P.S. Don't feel bad if you end up having to kill "Lucy". It's O.K.

-Bel

COMING NEXT: You tell me.

 

 

Send

Email

Archives

Email Bel

   

2000
  Chick Shit...
  Lunatic Ravings
  Ask Bob

     
   

 

Stories

Lunatics

Entertainment Online

Comics

Arcade

Links

Free Email

© 2001 by TheWeirdcrap.com -
"Insanity has found a home."