The Jelly Jam---"2"
MoTW---"Cutter's Way"
"Obviously I wouldn't know your criteria on picking crackwhores but would you consider that lady who supposedly found the finger in the chili she got from Wendy's? Just wondering."
Personally I wouldn't consider her since she's an obvious scumbag plus she's also chunky and fairly ugly to boot. That's not good Crackwhore Village material if you ask me (and you did).
But the Las Vegas Village is really not in my hands any longer so I went ahead and asked the current twosome running my little pet:
Rachel:
"No way, no how. I believe that the quality of crackwhores here are second to none. Imagine if we did bring her in, she'll probably claim she found a dead mouse in one of her client's pubic hair. Actually, after seeing some of the clientele around here, I wouldn't be surprised if some of them did have rodents, either living or dead, nesting in their private regions. Still, I wouldn't want her in my Village since she's chunky and not really easy on the eyes, if you know what I mean."
I do Rachel. I do.
Jerome:
"I like chunky, I once had one with raisins. It was good."
Of course with Jerome it wouldn't be any other way. (For those confused, Chunky is also the name of a candy bar or, more to the point, a candy chunk. For those still confused, imagine a squarish chunk of chocolate in a wrapper and that'll be your Chunky plus you can get one with raisins which makes what Jerome said more sensible kind of in a way.)
I'm thinking that the world is finally settling down with the incarceration of the chili finger lady but then someone has to screw up and award Ryan Seacrest with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Ryan Seacrest, the sperm that grew into a talentless hack, has a star but Clint Eastwood doesn't? What's wrong with this picture?
When "American Idol" is finally cancelled, what will Ryan do? Sure, he's the host of America's Top 40 Countdown but I could care less about that since the top 40 sucks since that guy from Scooby-Doo is no longer is hosting. Actually the top 40 has sucked since the early 90's (that's 1890's for you young 'uns) so I guess if you're on a couple of sucky shows and have $15,000 you too can have a star.
And then there's those who think that the elimination portion of "American Idol" is too cruel.
Too cruel?
The way I see it, Ryan gets his jollies by the way he handles those that are voted off since he's very insecure with his standing in life because he sucks. He knows the end is coming soon and is trying to make some sort of mark for himself so he won't be soon forgotten.
With the fear of his eventual downfall bouncing around his empty cranium, he crawled to his agent and begged that he solicit enough donations so he could get a star so he would be always remembered. I think he should be remembered as the one who sucks (seriously, check out his resume) and his star should be known as that little square in Hollywood which stinks of urine since there's hopefully some bum in Hollywood who's reading this and takes it upon themselves to piss on it on a daily basis.
Ain't done yet.
"American Idol" contestants think that the elimination portion of the show is cruel?
What's cruel is that the music business is filled to the brim with a bunch of no-talent "artists" as it is and there's a few more who think they have talent complaining about a stupid process on a stupid show while there's hundreds of bands/artists who have slaved almost their whole lives trying to make a living doing what they love without having to resort to lowering themselves by listening to the opinions of an audience in which a majority, if not all, don't know how to operate the turn signal in their vehicle.
Yeah, cry me a river "American Idol" contestants but thanks for helping out with the dumbing down of America. Let's see you get your start in some garage somewhere and practice until you finally get that first gig in a hole-in-the-wall bar and then continue to struggle and practice for years until you're (hopefully) finally noticed. Almost all of you would quit since you're living in a society where it's okay to think that everything should be handed to you with a minimum of work. Contestants, I despise you all and wish you all would curl up in a corner somewhere and rot.
COMING NEXT: Happy crates!
# posted by Bob Senitram @ Monday, April 25, 2005
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