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Tak Matsumoto Group---"TMG 1"
Movie of the week---"Zatoichi: The Blind Swordsman"
From Barry W.:
"I think I would be a good person to take over your crackwhore village. For one thing, my name is Barry White
which would be a perfect fit.
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"...it might be pretty cool to see some zombified crackwhores wandering around
munching on intestines..." |
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I also saw the light and my calling when I was cut off by some lady driving a minivan with a Jesus fish on the
back. I thought maybe I could chase her down and make her into one of the crackwhores. How about that?"
That's pretty cool that your names is Barry White, it's just a shame that he's dead. I don't think we really need
a dead person running the village since that will eventually end up becoming a Crackwhore Zombie Village which
might upset the neighbors.
Actually, it might be pretty cool to see some zombified crackwhores wandering around munching on intestines and
having their heads blown off. ARE YOU LISTENING HOLLYWOOD?
So for the lady driving the minivan, was it a Jesus (gee-zus) fish or a Jesus (hey-suess) fish on the back? I just
need to know for future reference.
Also remember that you never need to chase down someone since the crackwhores will come to you. They're like cats
who come running when you open any can, only crackwhores come running everytime they hear a zipper being pulled
down. Heck, they even come running when they hear a zipper being pulled up because they're crackwhores.
I try to watch at least one movie a week (between the times I suddenly blackout for no apparent reason) and will
begin listing my movie pick underneath the music pick starting this week. There's no real reason behind it other
than to make this column seem longer than it actually is.
I saw a commercial for Wal-Mart with local business people praising the benefits of having a Wal-Mart opening in
their small town. As far as I can tell, out of the thousands of small town businesses that had to shut down because
of the store with falling prices opening up right around the corner, only two small town businesses stayed open
which means that only two small town business owners were happy about Sam Walton's vision. To me that percentage
kind of sucks.
One of the businesses that was happy about Wal-Mart is a jewelry repair store. The owner (?) of the business was
very happy that the opening of the store caused hundreds of vehicles to pass his store every day. I guess he was
also happy since those folks were going to Wal-Mart to buy crappy jewelry that broke within a year or right after
the return date had passed.
So, of course he would be happy since he would be fixing the Wal-Mart jewelry for many, many years to come. Funny
thing is that I actually had some point to make regarding Wal-Mart and small businesses but completely forgot what
it was. Maybe it's just that Wal-Mart sucks but you already knew that so, yet again, I have wasted your time and
a little bit of mine.
In last weeks column I wrote "mentally challenged mentally challenged" and some folks thought that was
an error. Nope, it really was supposed to be that way since I was trying to get across that it was a mentally challenged
mentally challenged moron. Get it? Isn't it funny now that you think about it?
COMING NEXT:
Hey, gotta get to those darn crates!
Email Stephen!
snide_remarks@theweirdcrap.com |
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