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Vintersorg---"The Focusing Blur"
From Justin L.:
"I am in junior high and am failing sex ed and think I would make a good person to run your crackwhore village.
Then I could learn about sex and pass the class."
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"...the only thing I gained was a "D" in German since I could only
focus on her large breasts..." |
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That takes you right out of the running Justin! Haven't you ever heard "Don't get high off your own supply"?
The same principle applies here. There's no reason why you can't find someone easy in your school to teach you
the ways of sex.
Talking about learning about sex in junior high, I wonder why I didn't have one of those teachers who felt the
urge to sleep with their students. When I was in 9th grade I lusted after my German teacher and even started failing
the class so that I could stay after school hoping beyond hope that a spark would develop between us.
Alas, that never happened and I entered the 10th grade a virgin. Yet luck was on my side since the new German
teacher was hotter than the old one. But, again, nothing happened between us either and the only thing I gained
was a "D" in German since I could only focus on her large breasts instead of the daily lesson plan.
Obviously I went to the wrong school at the wrong time. I wouldn't have had a problem learning the language of
love from either of those teachers, and I'm sure that 13 year old who was schooled by his 27 year old teacher feels
the same way. I can also almost guarantee that the kids father is ecstatic too, since it's one less parental conversation
he has to worry about, and it also gives him something to brag about around the office.
"That was the stupidest thing I've ever seen! Were you dropped on your head when you were a baby?"
"As a matter of fact, I was."
That's a future conversation someone will not have since they really weren't thrown out of a car by an arguing
couple.
In the space of a few hours, a Florida woman goes from being a good samaritan to patient #17628AA732 in the loony
bin. Makes me wonder if she was so desperate to get some tv time since she wasn't stupid enough to be accepted
on any reality show that she concocted a not really well thought out story.
It might have thrown the medical community into a tizzy if it was true because then it would prove that babies
are really durable and are able to bounce a few times without any injuries. (Of course this is not true. Babies
need to be handled with the utmost care.)
(The previous sentence has been a paid announcement by all car seat manufacturers.)
Finally, I need to respond to Bob's response to my 2/7 column about which he wrote "I just can't imagine being
so stupid......." which is true since he's too dumb to imagine being stupid.
Kudos to Bob for finally admitting the truth.
COMING NEXT:
Those milk crates!
Email Stephen!
snide_remarks@theweirdcrap.com |
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