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Saxon---"Lionheart"
If you took the time to read Bob's latest column, you might have come away with the idea that I am the reason that
women are screwed up. Just because I might have some female DNA floating around my body just means that I do have
a soft, feminine side which is something I am not ashamed to admit.
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"...since I can't be in two places at once, I am going to give a lucky person
the opportunity to oversee the original Crackwhore Village..." |
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I can neither confirm nor deny his claims about a time machine. I can also not confirm nor deny his claims about
monkeys taking some of my DNA in order to make a female species. What I can confirm is that Bob is twisting the
story around (as usual) all because of his desire to own his own Crackwhore Village.
Because of where he lives, he cannot get the necessary funding or items in order to run a successful Crackwhore
Village which has made him into a extremely bitter man. Nebraska will not recognize a Crackwhore Village since
they believe that crackwhores would be more useful working in slaughterhouses and Wal Marts instead of allowing
them to follow their dreams and purposes in life.
This is a shame since a recent scientific poll of crackwhores shows that an overwhelming majority like the idea
of a community catering exclusively to their like plus the free insurance and the multiple perks not offered from
a "real job".
Granted, I am in it for the money. If I make $10.00 a day I am a happy man. Bob's village was open for one day
and he made nothing which only adds to his bitterness. He could not grasp the simple fact that in order to run
a profitable Crackwhore Village, you would need crackwhores not alcoholics, manic depressives, welfare mothers
or paint sniffers.
It also didn't help that the Nebraskan authorities came in and abducted all of Bob's employees since the local
Wal Mart needed a new batch of door greeters. A real man would have went onward but Bob threw up his hands and
now walks around with a defeatist attitude which makes him more bitter by the day. A person like this will never
be able to open and run a profitable village.
To prove my point, I am going to branch out and open a new Crackwhore Village within the next few months. For now
the new site is top secret, but will be revealed soon. And, since I can't be in two places at once, I am going
to give a lucky person the opportunity to oversee the original Crackwhore Village. If the second village is a success
then maybe we will have a chain of villages throughout the world, except in Nebraska.
As for those looking for my '05 predictions, I am still waiting for them to appear in a dream. Just be patient.
COMING NEXT:
Blood from the wrong places?
Email Stephen!
snide_remarks@theweirdcrap.com |
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