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Duran Duran---"Astronaut"
After all these years and all the time I have wasted trying to make Jerome a better person, I think it's about
time to give up.
Jerome: Thanks for hooking me up with Sharon. She's phat!
Me: Large Marge fat?
J: What?
M: Nevermind.
See? Just another case of me wasting my time.
J: Sharon's the bomb!
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"I am slowly dying as the leeches suck out any little bit of intelligence
I might have in that thing called my brain...." |
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M: You mean she's about to explode?
J: What?
M: Nevermind.
It's just absolutely silly and stupid. Yet I can't just let it
go.
J: We did the nasty!
M: You watched her eat?
J: What?
M: Fuck it. Nevermind.
Getting worse. Can't pull away.........
J: We're going to name the baby Jerome Junior. She doesn't like the name Stephen.
M: Hey dumbass! HER NAME IS NOT SHARON. HER NAME IS VICKY!!!!
J: Are they spelled the same way?
M: Yeah. And by the way.....
J: Yeah?
M: Nevermind.
I am slowly dying as the leeches suck out any little bit of intelligence
I might have in that thing called my brain.
J: I don't think you like Sharon too much.
M: No?
J: No.
M: Guess what?
J: What?
M: Nevermind.
I have got to do something to get my power back. I am becoming
very weak. So weak that I have watched that Veggietales movie and thinks it's the greatest.
M: I don't want to burst your bubblehead, but there is no way in hell that Vicky is carrying your baby.
J: Who's Vicky?
M: Spell it out slowly.
J: Oh, Sharon! I thought you said Vicky.
M: Exactly. Now, do you want to know why Vicky isn't carrying your baby?
J: Did you just say "Vicky" again?
M: No.
J: Oh.
M: You can't make babies Jerome. Something you really need to make babies was removed from your body during one
of our experiments a few years ago. Do you remember what that was?
J: My forefingers?
M: Yep, that's it!
J: So I'm not going to be a daddy?
M: Nope, because you don't have any forefingers.
J: I thought babies came from somewhere else.
M: You were obviously mistaken. Are you calling me a liar?
J: Well, no.
M: Good. Because if you did, I would have to remove that thing that you pee from.
J: My belly button? Please don't remove my belly button! I don't want to get filled up with so much pee that I
explode!
M: Okay. Just remember that I can though. Now, come home.
And that was supposedly that.
But.........
COMING NEXT: The
magna stems.
Email Stephen!
snide_remarks@theweirdcrap.com |
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