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Shadows Fall---"The War Within"
"I will take you up on your offer, as long as you have the guts to follow through. I will not become a member
of you crackwhore village though. I am going to prove to you that you need to treat women with respect. Hopefully
I'll also be able to punch you in the face to further my point."
That was Sharon's response to last week's column where I called her out. Luckily I read her email since I was going
delete crazy and she had used "You Big Dick" in the subject line which made me at first think it was
one of those emails extolling the virtues of some unknown penis growth cream.
"Hey, thanks for the lovely email! It's a shame about the crackwhore village, but I'm sure I'll figure out
somewhere we can go so you can prove how spunky you are. As a favor though, please make sure you cut your nails
because I have very sensitive skin and don't want to lose skin off my face when you "punch" me. Maybe
you meant to say "slap" cause that's what women do?"
That last line from me was a joke. Sharon has no sense of humor.
"That's your problem! You live in such a chauvinistic world that you don't think a woman can hit someone?
Are you an idiot or something? I doubt I'd go with you anywhere!
Okay.
"Chickenshit."
Guess I shouldn't have replied with that either.
"That's the best you can do? Now you have to resort to name calling? Are you 14 years old?"
That hurt.
"You started it."
I giggled when I sent that.
"WHATEVER!"
Good response.
"Let's go somewhere remote and a bit dangerous so you can prove how tough you are. You pick the place and
we'll see who comes thorough unharmed. ANYWHERE YOU WANT TO GO, LADY!"
Did she take the bait?
"Fine! If I make it through unharmed than you must never write anything again. Your stuff sucks anyway so
it won't be missed. If I do get harmed somehow, then I'll admit that you were right and I was wrong. Is it a deal?"
Yeah, that seems fair.
"OK. Where are we going?"
This should be good.
"Greenland."
Oh.
"Oh."
And there you have it. On 10/11/04 I'm flying to Greenland in order to rough it for a while with some psychotic
bitch.
I will prevail.
COMING NEXT:
The cream is sour
Email Stephen!
snide_remarks@theweirdcrap.com |
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