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Therion---"Sirius B"
Gee, let's have everyone stand up and give fuckmunch Bob a standing ovation for proving once and for all that he
is the stupidest human being in the entire universe and beyond.
My alien sperm does not dig into bodies nor does it suck all vital nutrients out of its host. It's not programmed
to do this! It is under very strict orders to gently enter the female human's body when she's least expecting anything
to be entering her body and then the sperm gently curls up and rests wherever it finds a comfy spot since it had
such a long flight.
Bob also claims he had some sort of vision and I can honestly tell you that the only time Bob had a vision was
when he went to a farm late one night to partake in the fucked up Nebraskan custom of cow tipping, but he was caught
because, as mentioned above, he's not too smart and can't tell the difference between a cow and the farmer's disgustingly
obese wife.
He did have a vision for a few days since the farmer wasn't too pleased to find his wife on her back out in the
field rolling around and whining because she couldn't get up while Bob stood above her laughing so the farmer picked
up an old piece of wood and started smacking the shit out of Bob's head.
The farmer hog tied Bob and dropped him off at a local hospital where Bob remained in a coma for 3 days. When he
woke up, he claimed he had spoken to God, Whistler's Mother and a naked Munchkin (not particularly in that order)
and they had shown him the true meaning of life which Bob forgot, of course, since he's the stupidest being of
all time.
(Those still giving Bob a standing ovation can now leave since you're stupid too.)
I mentioned last week that it could have been a sperm on Bob's ass but not my alien sperm, but the more I think
about it the more I'm convinced nobody anywhere would want to leave their sperm on Bob's ass so the only explanation
I can come up with that makes sense is that the growth is actually a larvae of some sort since Bob's been known
to shove critters large and small up his ass because he's, well, STUPID.
It's probably a cricket or something ready to hatch, yet he's too embarrassed to go to a doctor and admit that
he's got a really sick fetish so he decides to tell the world that it's alien sperm so he can get a little bit
of sympathy. He'll try to milk it as much as he can and hopefully make a few bucks before it either hatches or
he has it lanced by some stranger in an alley.
Hopefully this has cleared up everything and there will be no more misconceptions regarding any type of alien sperm.
Thank you.
COMING NEXT:
Bugs on paper
Email Stephen!
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