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Ambeon---"Fate of a Dreamer"
I was going to write about last week's trip way down south but have decided that it would be too boring for those
expecting something halfway interesting.
Instead I want to focus on the gas situation and what we can do to help lower the prices. It might take a little
bit of deceit and derring-do but I think we can all rise up as a nation and fight the power and the man.
It all starts and ends with the Humvee. Why does someone drive a vehicle that, on a good day, gets 10 mpg? What's
the purpose (other than a really tiny dick) to drive such a vehicle to a restaurant, especially a buffet? What's
the point of having only one person in the Humvee? It's designed to hold several small nations, yet every time
I see one on the road the only occupant is the driver (usually a male) which proves my point that he's trying to
make up for a deficiency he's had for his whole life.
Why a female would drive this vehicle is beyond me. It's probably because she's a shitty driver in the first place
and needs to drive a billion pound vehicle around the suburbs in order to feel a little bit safe, plus she might
have a small dick too. I can also assume that she has a hyphenated last name along with the small dick which would
be a good reason to drive around a vehicle that should only be used in war.
So, it seems that the only folks driving these vehicles in suburbia are dick deficient and hermaphrodites. These
are the people that are driving our gas prices up and we must fight them with all we've got by stealing these vehicles
and shipping them off to countries that can convert them into homes or ice cream trucks.
Some of you might think this is just crazy talk and that after the Humvee we'll have to start shipping out the
Expeditions, Yukons, etc., and soon we'll be left with only smaller vehicles on the roads. You're right. That's
exactly what'll happen and watch as the gas prices come down.
Station wagons and pickup trucks have serviced us well since the dawn of time. There's no reason that passenger
vehicles need to get bigger since most products that we need are getting smaller. The caveman would have needed
something like the Humvee because he had to deal with dinosaurs, volcanoes and large meteors but we no longer have
dinosaurs running around and there's no volcanos on the verge of wiping out humanity. The only thing I know about
meteors is that they cause you to turn into a plant if you touch it so you really wouldn't need a large vehicle
to save your ass.
This is just a suggestion on how to fight the rising gas prices. There might be another way to do so but I'm just
trying to help everyone by coming up with the simplest solution possible. Do what you want but at least I'm trying
to help. I care about this earth and am trying to conserve what resources we have so that they can be passed on
to future generations so that their lives can be lived with as few problems as possible and who the fuck am I trying
to kid? I just want everyone to steal big vehicles and ship them overseas because it would be funny.
COMING NEXT:
The round tin opens to the right
Email Stephen!
snide_remarks@theweirdcrap.com |
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