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Lunatic Ravings - 02/09/04
By Stephen Johnson
Published each Monday |
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Into Eternity---"Buried in Oblivion"
"About the White Stripes......................Steven Johnson thinks they suck, but as usual he is wrong. I
think this last album is the most creative and raw albums I've listened too since I first heard the White Album
by the Beatles."
And that, my friends, is a direct quote taken from the latest "Ask Bob". This is from someone who can't
even spell my first name right plus uses the wrong spelling of a certain word that anyone with a 3rd grade education
can get right.
I guess were supposed to take Bob's word that the White Stripes are talented and not a couple of folks that have
deceived a large chunk of the public into believing that they are "in" and are the "it" thing
of the moment.
I can take a couple of monkeys and hand one a guitar and sit the other behind a drum kit and I can guarantee that
the monkeys would come up with better music even though they would be spending half their time flinging shit at
each other and the other half picking bugs from under their armpits.
Comparing the White Stripes to the Beatles is like comparing yak piss to Mountain Dew or, for those that haven't
had the pleasure of tasting the former and/or latter, Spam to filet mignon. It's just something that shouldn't
be compared because one sucks while the other doesn't.
I'm not a huge Beatles fan, but I sure like what they did after they discovered illegal drugs. The members of the
White Stripes look like they both popped out of something that was loaded with too many drugs so they probably
went through life as everyone's favorite whipping boys. (Yes, I know one of the member is supposed to be a woman.
But, is she really?)
Of course those two decided to form a band because they knew that people would eat them up. Just because they were
a little bit different, critics claimed that they were the greatest thing to come around since Pop Tarts. Garage
rock was back, they claimed, and a large amount of the public ate it up because they need to be told what to like
and dislike since they're a bunch of fucking automatons.
Now we have a slew of clone bands and they all suck. However, when you open most any music publication, there always
seems to be at least one article about the newest White Stripes-like band ready to take over the world. It's made
me so mad that I want to reach into the deepest depths of my body and yank out my intestines, wrap them around
my body and waltz down the road while reciting "Stairway to Heaven" backwards in Latin.
Excuse me as I have decided to do so.
COMING NEXT:
A man in purple questions my aptitude.
Email Stephen!
snide_remarks@theweirdcrap.com |
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