Ice Age---"The Great Divide"
There are those that still have questions about our new religion. I thought I explained all that needed to be explained
last week but I guess there are those few idiots that are trying to make something that is easy into something
hard in their pathetic little pea-brained minds.
| 1) |
Will there be something like a bible? I need something to clutch when I am rocking
back and forth while I pray and I find that a book is the best item to hold. |
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NO! There is not going to be any fucking book that you can open and read with the hope that you'll be saved. Who
reads nowadays anyway?
If it's that important to you, try picking up a copy of Penthouse Letters and consider that you're bible. If you
feel you need to be saved, open it to any page and soon you'll be masturbating in your basement. When you're done
you'll feel as if a huge load has been lifted and that's close enough to feeling saved. |
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| 2) |
Why are you doing this? |
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Because I can. Because I was sitting at a stoplight and I heard a voice in my head telling me to kill, kill, kill
or start a new fad since it's been a long time since we've had something like the macarena.
Remember that the macarena made bitter enemies the best of friends if only for a short while. The time is right
for something like this so deal with it. |
Now on to my road trip:
Las Vegas to Traverse City, MI.
35+ hours.
Sunflower seeds and Diet Mountain Dew.
50 CD's.
30 DVD's.
A carton of cigarettes.
Connie with the the belief that I won't be able to drive for 35+ hours. That's crazy talk!!
A chance to visit numerous rest stops!! What fun and joy especially since I won't smoke in the car. Too bad we're
not going through Indiana since they have got the best rest areas. But we are going through Nebraska and their
rest areas consist of a couple of holes dug in the ground where you can pee and poo since none of the Nebraskans
have mastered the art of construction and, therefore, indoor plumbing.
But why am I going to Traverse City? Got me. I haven't been told why. I assume it's for some sort of pagan ritual
type of thing or some family reunion thing which is basically the same. Either way, I'm sure I'll meet some fucked
up people along the way and stop at some fucked up store where something fucked up will happen and I'll just have
to gripe about it when I get back. Or I'll just do something fucked up so that I can bitch about something.
And don't worry. There might be a new chain email posted here next week that you can pass on to you friends or
foes. Or there might be nothing.
COMING NEXT: See above
or email Bob and ask him
Email Stephen!
snide_remarks@theweirdcrap.com
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