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 Sade--"The Best of Sade"
Poor, poor MTV.
They are getting sued yet again, this time from two teenager who claim they were hit with some human excrement
during the taping of "Dude, this Sucks".
Maybe I'm a bit confused about this one, probably because I am old. I just don't understand what the big deal is.
Being hit by human poo isn't that bad, and it could also be considered fun in a way, especially if it's done right.
Every year, we had an annual Poo Festival. All the townspeople would gather in the historic town park for food,
fun and poo.
The day started with our Mayor, wearing a special dried poo hat, hitting the bell with the poo mallet. This signified
the start of the Main Street arade, which consisted of clowns, wild animals, a marching band and cars powered by
poo.
The wild animals were especially fun because they were from the local zoo and were allowed to roam through the
town during the Poo Festival because the town elders thought it would be an excellent learning experience for the
children.
This almost stopped one year because the town librarian was gored to death by an angry rhinoceros. After an investigation,
it was discovered that it probably wasn't the rhino's fault because the librarian was wearing glasses and the rhino
might have been confused when the sunlight struck the sunglasses in a certain way to cause the rhino temporary
blindness. Scared, the rhino decided to run and the librarian happened to be standing in its way. A tragedy for
sure, but not enough to stop the Poo Festival!
There were also poo pie contests and members of the local 4H Club would show their piles of poo in the hope of
winning a ribbon. Mary Jo Walandenned won a blue ribbon 4 consecutive years for a perfectly proportional pile of
poo, which made her the envy of the whole town.
The afternoon brought the poo auction. SInce this was geared towards the adults, us kids had our own fun with a
wicked game of dodge poo.
We start saving and freezing our poo at least six months before the festival. One week before the festival, we
would take our frozen bags of poo and place them in the backyard so they could defrost. On the day of the festival,
they would be the perfect consistency with the best poo splatter effect as long as we followed the proper storing
and care.
One year, Timmy Frederickegellen did not properly store and care for his poo which caused Jim Blertiynon to lose
an eyeball during the dodge poo game. Instead of being a tad wet and mushy, the poo that Timmy threw was as hard
as a rock. The poo punctured Jim's eyeball and Timmy was forever banned from the Poo Festival.
The festival ended with a giant poo throwing frenzy. Any leftover poo from the festival was used like food in a
food fight. This generally lasted a good hour or so and then it was time to go home, but not until we picked up
leftover scraps of poo in order to trade with other kids the next day. This type of trading is now being used by
kids today with their Pokemon cards.
So, you can see that being hit by poo isn't a sue-worthy offense, but is really quite fun. Hopefully those two
teenagers can discover the fun of poo and maybe they can bring back a Poo Festival somewhere so others can join
in the fun and excrement.
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