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Psycho Sermons
By Garion Bel

TheWeirdcrap.com offers an outlet for Bel Garion. Which is good because it keeps him off the streets.

Monday, May 15, 2006

MI3 Sucked

By Saint Garion

I’ve just returned from seeing Mission Impossible III, and it sucked. Actually the move would have been great had I cared whether Tom Cruise and his wife lived or died. I mean the guy was sliding down the roof of a building and I thought to myself, “Wouldn’t it be great if he fell to his death right here and Ving Rhames ends up taking over to save his wife. Then they could have lots and lots of little vings running around at the end of the movie.”

So I’ve decided to come up with a list of folks that could have done a better job playing Ethan Hunt than Tom Cruise. Alan Rickman Ben Miles Bradley Cooper Cary Elwes Christopher Eccleston Ewan McGregor Heath Ledger Hugh Jackman Jamie Bamber John Glover John Schneider Justin Bartha Liam Neeson Malcolm McDowell Martin Freeman Matt Damon Matthew McConaughey Michael Rosenbaum Ray Park Tom Welling Val Kilmer Vin Diesel

God: “John Lithgow.”

Saint Garion: “What!?” God: “Believe in me, that guy would have been fantastic.”

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