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Lunatic Ravings
Maculate
Conception
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Chick Shit for Chic Chicks!
I'm not a nosy person and try to stay out of other peoples affairs, unless I am directly
asked to help them out with any problems they might have.
Recently I accidentally came across an email from Stephen to Bob, where Stephen explained that he was unable to
write anything new this week because he was "mentally constipated".
Don't believe this for one second. Unlike everyone else here, Stephen puts no thought into what he writes. From
the information that I have, he downs a shot of Nyquil mixed with Robitussin and writes whatever comes out of his
clouded mind.
I'm sure that the real reason that he couldn't write something this week is something along the lines of Stephen
having no money to buy any cough medicine since he wasted it all on gambling and other disgusting pastimes.
This is something you never have to worry about regarding me. My mind is always clear and never, ever under the
influence of any sort of drug so you will always get clear, concise answers to whatever questions you might have.
Which leads me to an email from Robin H. from parts unknown:
"Hi Yvonne!
I can't wait to hear about your big news! I have big news too!
I'm pregnant! Are you pregnant too?"
I don't like people from "parts unknown' and I don't like people who think being pregnant is good news especially
since those from "parts unknown" most likely were knocked up by a brother or uncle.
People from "parts unknown" should mind their own business and not worry about whether I'm pregnant,
gassy, retaining water or whatever. They should be more concerned with figuring out a way to make a box of Kraft
macaroni and cheese feed a family of 20.
Because of Robin and her asinine question, I have decided that I am not going to tell what my surprise is. Maybe
next week when I'm less angry with Robin, but I can't promise that. If you're upset, don't blame me.
Blame Robin.
NEXT WEEK: Less anger,
more happiness?
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