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Chick Shit for Chic Chicks!
It's a new year and I'm back.
I'm sure that many of you are more than thankful for that since, without me, your life is meaningless. You look
at me as your one ray of hope in your pitiful existence.
That's fine with me. But, sometimes I need a break from those that are less than me which is the reason I took
last week off.
Yet a lot of you kept hounding me with questions as if I don't have anything better to do than to help others.
Frankly, it makes me sick but I am the only voice of reason on this website so I have no alternative but to continue
with this column.
The following letter I received from Bryan B. in Modesto, CA is the sort of crap I was receiving on my self imposed
week off. To everyone else who sent me something, just read my reply to Bryan because it will apply to you too.
"It's New Year's Day and I went to your column but found that you didn't write something new. I don't know
what to do now and I feel as if I've been abandoned."
Well, I guess that's the story of your life Bryan. You might want to stop relying on others since 10 out of 10
times you'll find that nobody cares about you or your problems.
Too bad you don't lead the life that I do. I'm loved. People care about me. When/if I die, my funeral will have
to be held in a stadium so that everyone will have a seat with thousands upon thousands turned away at the turnstiles.
When you die, you'll be lucky if someone buries you. You'll probably be left to rot wherever you fall because you're
not worth the effort in life or in death.
Let me send you a gift certificate to your local hardware store. There you can buy some rope in order to hang yourself,
but make sure you do it outside and also make sure you fill your pockets with change so when the wind blows, at
least you'll have some use in death as a windchime.
Yes, it's a new year and I still care!
NEXT WEEK: I offer more
hope.
Email Yvonne!
webmaster@theweirdcrap.com
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