|
Lunatic Ravings
Maculate
Conception
Ask
Bob
Chick
Shit for Chick Chicks
Email Melissa
Back to
Chick Shit 2002
Visit
the Archives!!!
|
|
Chick Shit for Chic Chicks!
I should thank those of you that sent me cards and email on Thanksgiving, especially
those that were concerned that I might be spending the holiday alone.
Quite frankly, it's really nobody's business how I spend my holidays! If I want to roll around in a bathtub filled
with pork and red beans, that's my prerogative. I don't need anyone inviting me over for food and fun because I
can find enough fun thins to do around my own house, thank you very much.
For those of you that really want to know, I went to Denny's on Thanksgiving. That's what I wanted to do. It was
a fine dinner and I had the pleasure of meeting other people like me at that fine eating establishment. Maybe I
went home with one or two of them after dinner, but again, that's my ow business.
I just wonder what you pathetic people will send me on Christmas. Gee, I just can't wait.
A pathetic person just like you sent me the following email. His name is Chuck and he's from Iowa, and I am quite
sure he has written to this site before. He obviously needs to get a life.
"Hi,
My new girlfriend refuses to have sex with me if she's on top. She claims that she tried it once before and got
stuck and is scared to try it again.
What should I do? I love this woman and don't think I can marry her if she refuses to get on top.
Thanks, Chuck"
Well, Chuck, it seems that you have a legitimate problem there. The funny thing is it's something that can never
be corrected.
See, you're a loser. You have a loser girlfriend. She once got stuck? What was she having sex with? I only ask
because I remember when I was a kid during summer vacation, I saw two dogs having sex get stuck and they had to
be hosed down.
Maybe you should find out what your girlfriend had sex with before you go spreading around her little problem with
your beer drinking buddies. I can guarantee that it was with some animal and that is one dirty girl you don't want
to be involved with, much less marry.
Or maybe it's because you're incredibly ugly and she doesn't want to have to look down on your hideous face. That
I could understand.
If you still want to stay with her, just point out to her that you aren't well endowed at all and there is no way
that she could get stuck. That should do the trick.
NEXT WEEK: More of your
problems.
Email Melissa!
webmaster@theweirdcrap.com
|