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Chick Shit for Chic Chicks!

Chick Shit - 10/16/02
By Yvonne
Published each Wednesday

A new era has started here at this site. I want to welcome myself as thenewest staff member to theweirdcrap, and am ready to make a difference in your life.

This column will now be written by a normal person. There will no more writings about alien abductions and alien babies. I will not write about my job as a disgusting, low-life stripper. I will not tell you about my life in prison or how bad my marriage is.

I am not weak and will not be treated like dirt by anyone, especially anyone who happens to be a part of the male species. Don't get me wrong--I like men. I just don't like their ideals (especially the ones that work around here).

I am currently single, and have been so for quite a long time. I have broken many hearts in my life and I will break quite a few more. I am still young, but my age is something that you have no need to know.

This column started a couple of years ago as a column for women by a woman. From this day forward this column will be used as a help column for women. Go ahead and write me with your female problems and I will answer as many as I can every week.

Be aware that I will not hold back. If you are stupid, I will tell you so. I am better than you and as long as you do what I say, your life will become much more livable and exciting.

I am your Queen and you are nothing but my lowly pawn. I drink high priced tea and you are only worthy enough to drink water from a pond. Just remember that and we'll get along just fine.

You may leave now and come back next week.


NEXT WEEK: I start whipping you into shape.


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