|
Lunatic Ravings
Maculate
Conception
Ask
Bob
Chick
Shit for Chick Chicks
Email Melissa
Back to
Chick Shit 2002
Visit
the Archives!!!
|
|
Chick Shit for Chic Chicks!
The email keeps pouring in and it's getting harder and harder to pick something for
this column.
Out of the two we received last week, we decided to go with the one below since it was slightly disturbing. We
have nothing against things that are disturbing, but we felt that this went that extra mile for disturbedness (new
word!)
It's from someone named Jackie B. We have not idea where's she from, but can safely assume that it might be in
an insane asylum somewhere.
Many times I have asked myself, "If I were an animal, what animal would I like to be?"
I first think that it would be neat to be a bird. I would be able to fly everywhere and have total freedom. But
I can't stand the taste of worms, so I don't want to be a bird.
A horse would be kind of neat. I could be a race horse and win lots of ribbons and money. But I might slip and
break a leg and then I would be put to death. I don't want to be a horse.
A koala bear is cute and I wouldn't mind being a cute animal. I could hang out in a tree all day eating leaves,
but I might eat a leaf that was sprayed with pesticide and die a horrible death. I don't want to be a koala bear.
It would be kind of neat to be a wolf, but they usually run in packs and I'm a loner, so I don't want to be a wolf.
Maybe I shouldn't be an animal.
I could be a bug.
Ants are fun to watch and I would make a good ant. I work hard and don't let anything get in my way. But I do have
a fear of being crushed by a giant creature, so I don't want to be an ant.
A bee would also be fun, but I don't like people who hit me because I have a tendency to hit back very hard. If
I was a bee, I would die after I extracted revenge, so I don't want to be a bee.
I want to be a fly. Flies like the taste of shit and so do I.
And there you have it. A bit interesting, but if this is what we continue to receive, we're going to have to dedicate
this weekly column to Swedish Animal Porn. We'll just have to post new pictures from Sweden farms every week.
Maybe that's what you want.
NEXT WEEK: See the chicken
jump the cow!!!!
Email Melissa!
webmaster@theweirdcrap.com
|