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Chick Shit for Chic Chicks - 12/19/01
By Melissa Paternick
Published each Wednesday
I was very depressed the last few days. I couldn't help but wonder why some of the
girls I work with get such nice stuff like virtually rust free Festiva's and double-wide trailer's with almost
all the windows intact.
But what about me?
I'm a nice person. I was good to Ralph and look what he did to me!! I walked by our old trailer and saw him through
the window with two naked women!! Why couldn't he be happy with just me?
Sure, I have a nice place to stay out in the woods, but gas is fairly expensive and I don't have one of those red
gas carrying containers so I do get very cold at night.
And to top it off, Christmas is coming up and I have no one to buy something for, unless you count my baby. Life
just isn't fair!!!
Or so
I thought.
When I woke up this morning, I felt something poking out of my unmentionable place. I was concerned and thought
that maybe I had rolled over in my sleep and a stick had become lodged in me. I grabbed a mirror and held it down
there and saw a hand poking out. It's my baby!!!!!
And what's even better is that it only has 3 fingers so it HAS to be an alien baby!! I figured it was hungry so
I put a piece of granola in it's hand and it disapeared up into me and then reappeared a few seconds later!!! Wow,
what an incredible feeling!!
So, forget the double-wides and the Festivas!! I bet those other women don't have a small hand poking out of their
unmentionable's!!! They don't know what they're missing!!
See ya and have a Merry Christmas!!!
NEXT WEEK: Even more about
me and my baby!!
Email Melissa
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