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This Weeks
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Maculate Conception
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Chick Shit for Chic Chicks - 12/12/01
By Melissa Paternick
Published each Wednesday


I got my baby pictures back and they're not what I expected.

The guy that took the pictures told me that they take a long time to develop so he drew me a picture of what he can see from the film. I was expecting my baby to have maybe two heads or at least 4 arms, but the picture is of a normal baby.

I don't know what to do now. I thought I finally had the proof that I was abducted by and forced to have sex with aliens a few months ago. I don't think that a normal baby will be enough proof to the papers.

What's weird though is that a lot of people have been looking at me differently since I had the pictures taken. Some guys have offered to take my picture and sell it on the internet, but I know that no one will be interested in pictures of a normal child.

Someone else told me that they saw naked pictures of someone who looked like me on the internet. I know that lucky naked lady is making lots of money selling pictures of her body to strangers and I wish I had the opportunity to do something like that.

As you can tell, I'm a bit depressed. On top of that, I am quite bloated and my belly seems to be getting larger everyday. I just hope something marvelous happens soon because I don't know what I'm going to do.

Bye.


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2001
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