Ask Bob

by Bob Senitram

With last weeks poll (Why are you here?), I just wanted to know why most folks are coming to TheWeirdcrap.com. Just as I suspected, most come for the Blogs and Short Stories. I have to admit, I was a little surprised that the blogs outweighed the stories. I shouldn’t have been surprised to find the recent question in my inbox, asking, “Bob, why ARE we here?”

Since I only have a few paragraphs to answer the question, I’ll have to summarize without all the details…much like a George Bush speech. Basically humans and all plants and animals for that matter are big cell production machines. Our individual purpose is to reproduce cell that have died in our bodies and to reproduce new organisms, which in turn become big cell production machines. That’s pretty much it. Anything else is just icing on the cake.

Which brings me to humans.

As far as humans go, individually, we’re really not that smart. Most humans can read, but most don’t fully comprehend a sentence that is set before them. We spend most our time hurting each other in wars and violence, and trying to obtain currency which is based on our valued perception of a shiny rock.

As I see it, Earth is pretty much a planet filled with talking apes. Some folks talk of “The Grand Design,” and “free will.” Sometimes I wonder if God actually created multiple worlds with different levels of intelligence to see how stupid folks can be before “free will” becomes more of a destructive force than a benefit.

Which brings me to politics.

When I read about the Carl Rove’s, the crooked businessmen, and the Osama’s, of the world, it seems obvious that given the opportunity, human’s seem to do more harm than good. They do things that are fundamentally wrong, and then convince themselves and others that it is for the good of all. I still can’t imagine why folks fall for this type of stuff.

I’m far from a religious person, but I do respect the teachings and ideals of Jesus. When I come across making an opinion on something important, I ask myself, “How would Jesus react?” Take the war on Iraq. Back in 2002 everyone around me was cheering, “Go to war, protect America…we have to strike before Saddam does…” and so forth.

Truly, I thought, “Would Jesus support the devastation of war in order to feel secure?”
Well, I came up with a big “NO.” The opposition to such thinking is, “If we do what Jesus would do, we couldn’t ‘protect’ ourselves.” I guess this is true. But I have enough trust in his wisdom to believe that we would be better off in the long run.

Which brings me to Christmas.

If Jesus became enraged that temples were turned into market places, how do you think he feels about his birthday being celebrated by a giant merchant fiasco. I would be nice if folks celebrated his birthday by helping others and giving to charities.

If materialism brings you farther and farther than heaven, as the religious folks believe, isn’t each Christmas present reserving a place at the table with Satan? Maybe we should rethink this whole Christmas thing.

Which brings me to religion and politics.

Back about 75 years ago, James Buchanan’s sister resided in the White House, and took on the chores of “The President’s Wife”. She was the first “First Lady.” She helped out because he was the nation’s only bachelor President. No wife. But he did live with another male career politician for 16 years.

Sounds like gay to me. Gay with a capitol “G”. Not that there’s anything wrong with that in my eyes, but it’s ironic that the nation’s only Gay President was a Republican. So the guardian’s of the religious right gave birth to our only Gay President. A prime example of the intelligence of religious, anti-gay, right. Still makes me laugh thinking about it.

Stupid humans.

And now you know.