By Brian Petre
So, for those of you fuckers that don't know, I'm trying to rebuild an old hot rod on the road while travelling with the circus. It's to resemble a 1956 Mercury Custom when I'm done...got it? Sorry if I'm short with you, it's because it's proving to be a larger challenge than expected. This will be a ride worth a gallon of blood, sweat, and a thousand tears by the time I'm done with it. This latest episode all started back in the early fall of 2005 in a little piece of shit town called Mt. Holley, NJ.
I'd had my Transmission rebuilt in Manchester, CT, my Carburator rebuilt in Hartford, CT, the body to be sandblasted in Charlotte, NC, and the engine being rebuilt in Clearwater, FL. All of this takes quite a lot of planning, and let's just say one, namely me, may have overlooked the fact that the trailer carrying all of this shit needed to be registered and wired for lights before hooking it up to my truck.
I'd originally bought the trailer in an off interstate town in Pennsylvania enroute to Columbus during one of my circus transfers back in April 05. The purpose at the time was so I could haul a motorcycle, which was in our caravan, that kept breaking down on us causing a big delay in travel time. Fuck it, I could use the trailer later for hauling various parts of my Merc...and fuck it, why make it legal. Fuck it indeed.
So, there I am travelling with an overloaded illegal trailer hooked up to a little pussy truck trying to drive it 1400 miles down to the Carolinas when BAM, fucking cop lights. Now I'd been pissing into the wind with this trailer for 6 months, so getting pulled this late in the game threw me off a bit. I'd actually hoped they were pulling me over for drunk driving, but I suppose that's just a pipe dream when I've been sober (only while driving) for over 2 years now.
Here's this cop, a woman I might add, walking over to me in my rearview like some sort of tough guy. She's got the light, the gun, the whole nine yards. Me, I had a truck filled with shit and motor parts I'd been collecting for 2 years at this point. I don't think she had much of a reason at this point to not put me away, but fuck it, it's worth my time to bullshit, right? I mean, what could this woman cop actually do to a real life carny, huh? Well, let me tell you, she just plain took my shit...and my motor.
She said it had something to do with no trailer registration, and not light hook ups. But, I knew it was because she really wanted the 312 motor I had rusting in the back of the trailer I was towing.
I sat there for an hour while more and more cops pulled up. Let me explain to you, I just got off the Jersey Turnpke for gas...5 minutes, in and out...and now this. After sitting there, drinking my coffee and putting down smokes for an hour, a flatbed pulled up...in front of my truck. So, with as many times as this cop had told me to stay put, I just leap out of my car throwing my beef jerkey into the passengers seat. It takes a lot to make me put down my beef jerkey.
"Look lady, my truck is legal, you can't tow it".
She explains to the driver, who is obviously at the end of his leash too, that they're only taking the trailer. So he throws his beef jerkey into his passengers seat and proceeds to hook up my trailer to his tow truck. Neither one of them had a red neck, which I imagine is why I got fucked.
This was just the beginning.