Ask Bob

By Bob Senitram

Looks like Brian is still down for the count. I won’t tell you why; I’ll save that story for him to tell. Instead, I’ll talk about something more interesting…me!

This last week was very exciting. I had outpatient surgery, bought some Flonase, and saw a movie.

As far as my outpatient surgery goes, I was on Darvocet for three days, which made me very constipated and irritable. To top it all off, it was raining a lot which got my sinuses all in an uproar and I was almost out of Flonase. The ol’ lady gave me a ride to get my sinus prescription when I realized, the steroids opened up my sinus passages so they can drain.

That was the answer to my other problem. I had to open up them anal passages so I could make a poo.

My old prescription had a few more squirts left in it, so I figured that if I took that Flonase tip and gave my self a few squirts up the ol’ shooter, them passages would open right up and the poo would be free flowing.

The Flonase was almost empty, so I just threw the sinus stuff away afterwards. I wouldn’t want to put that up my nose again, that would be gross.

IT WORKED!!!

About twenty minutes later, I was as empty as the Flonase container! However, it did have some side affects. For the rest of that day, out of the blue, my bottom would feel wet all of a sudden. I go to the bathroom only to find runny poo in my under-roos. This is not what I wanted, but nonetheless, I spent the rest of the weekend in Depends.

Once that wore off, I saw “War of the Worlds” which is action packed! But for me it was more of a relief. I’ll explain. I’ve always had premonitions about things. Usually they come in dreams, sometimes with detailed images; sometimes it’s just a feeling.

For example take the war on Afghanistan, I never said anything bad about the idea, although it was an opportunity to pick on Bush. Seemed logical at the time, but more importantly, I didn’t have any premonitions about it. Now when we talk about Iraq, I had all sorts of dreams that just said, “not a good idea.”

So if you go back to the 2003 archives, you’ll read some columns that warn about going to war in Iraq. In one case I wrote an actual dream that said more than I could. I couldn’t really pinpoint it, I just knew that no good would come of that war and it scarred me. You just have to go back to the archives and read the warnings they are there.

Now back about 20 years ago, I had a dream that I went to my back porch and there was a dark cloud, then huge bolts of lightning came from the sky. Inside, I knew it was the end of the world. Then I saw a satellite fall from the sky and land in the desert. I was a scene I’ve never forgotten. Deep down inside, I knew if I ever saw this sign, it was the end.

I was very relieved that the exact same scene with the lightning was on “War of the Worlds.” The satellite thing must have gotten left on the cutting room floor. After all this time it’s nice to know I was just foreseeing a scene from a movie.

This happened once before. Embarrassed to say, but the end of Star Wars movie with the Ewoks, there was a scene with Yoda & Luke’s father with a blue haze around them smiling at Luke at the campfire with his furry friends. I had a dream of that 3-second snippet about two years before the movie was released. I don’t know why, I just recognized it when I saw it in the movie. Such was the lightning scene in the Tom Cruse movie.

And now you know.

COMING NEXT: Pelican Tragic III?