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Ask Bob:
The weekly events of a lazy idiot as he stumbles through life, looking for answers to questions that nobody has.

Friday, April 22, 2005


Revenge of the Bel

My new neighbors are less people that live next door, and more accessories that came with the new apartment. One of them just knocks on our door whenever he feels like it, and it doesn’t matter what time it is. He is very friendly, in a pesky kind of way. Mostly he just wants to chat, endlessly, and my girlfriend humors him as she does with most old alcoholics. Recently this guy has started knocking on our door to ask us to drive him up to the gas station to buy beer and cigarettes.

It’s all I can do to not stick my finger in his eye, but I take him anyway. Because I am a nice guy, and he is extremely old, so I figure that by taking him I am just facilitating his death.

His car was taken away by a towing company that moved into our complex. I fucking hate these bastards. They leave threats on our cars for parking outside our own damn apartments. It really makes me think that the management company didn’t really think this decision to let them move in through.

The product that they are attempting to deliver is a nice / tolerable place to live. Right? What assurances do I, as a resident, have that the fat drunk cousin loving bastard driving by at 3 am won’t tow my truck? Is there some kind of quality assurance program to assure me that he is only towing vehicles that don’t belong? Is an operator going to be available to take my fucking call when I feel the need to complain about the car selection process?

When they figured the cost of towing the resident vehicles in error, did they account for the old guy downstairs who won’t leave me alone? I think not. I am going to remove one of their towing signs every time I have to take my neighbor to the gas station to buy beer and cigarettes. Those things cost like 500 bucks a piece and it takes like 5 seconds with a sawzall to cut down. I left last nights in the middle of the drive with some blood on it as a warning. We will see if they take the hint.


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