Song in my head:
"Walk without rhythm,
and you won't attract the worm..."
- Fatboy Slim -
Baby Gurl:
Baby Gurl, is no longer a baby, she's gonna be three soon and folks at work make fun of me 'cause I still call
her "The Baby." I guess the protective instincts of normal parents never goes away, I still think she's
gonna choke on anything that is not soft enough for a nine month old baby.
I can see it now...someday she'll get married and while helping pick out the cake, I'll argue we can't use those
little shinny candy ball things because she might choke on 'em.
I figured out why me feet get so sweaty!
After I got married, many years ago, I started wearing my shoes real tight. I bought shoes a little too small,
and I always tie them nice and tight. Then toward the end of the day my feet got nice and sweaty. I just noticed
I had been doing this. But the real question is, why would a man do this to himself?
So today I will answer my own question. The best I can come up with is I had been single and living on my own
for more than ten years before I got hitched up. I liked being single because for some strange reason, I never
had much trouble dating, and had my fun. When it was time to settle I guess I made my shoes real tight so I would
feel physically restricted and overcome my natural urge to run away when relationships got too serious. That's
the best I can come up with.
Ice Breakers.
Nice product, when I first bought them, I noticed a the packet was really jam packed with them little balls of
mint flavor. I was told that just one lasts a really long time! I thought, "How can these guys make money,
if you only buy one pack in a two or three week period?"
The time for theory was over, I anxiously opened up the little plastic container's flip top and gave it a gentle
tap to drop a flavor thing on my hand. Half the fuckin' container spilled on my hand, the balls bounced off and
rolled in different directions all over the kitchen floor. I picked most up, but couldn't get them back in the
container, so I ate half a packet in one gulp.
The shot of menthol gave me a rush, and later gave me an upset stomach. This could be a cure for recovering meth
users. I never found all the little blue balls that rolled all over the floor and every so often I step on one.
They're good, but not good enough for me to lick my feet to get that menthol rush.
AND NOW YOU KNOW!
COMING NEXT:
My God you may be from Texas!