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Song in my head:
"Hiiiiigh, sky divin',
rocky-mountain climbin'…"
- Some fuckin' hill-billy -
I can't remember the name of the guy who sings the song in my head, and I don't really care. But at work they listen
to the old folks station and they play it every, fucking hour. It's about some hill-billy who finds out he's got
cancer and does all the things he never had the balls to do before. What a cheesy, stupid, fucker.
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"...I really think they should just give Texas back to Mexico and..." |
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I especially hate the song, because they play it over and over and over and over and over. I never liked it to
start off with! To tell the truth, if I found out I was gonna die in a year, I just spend most my time in bed…high,
'cause that's pretty much all I want to do.
The guy's probably from Texas, and I never met nobody from Texas I liked. I used to drive a truck and went to Texas
often, every mother-fucker I met was an stupid, arrogant son-of-a-biiiitch, with a 5th education. I really think
they should just give Texas back to Mexico and let them do what ever they want to them dorky, southern speakin',
ten-gallon hat wearin', mutha-sucka's.
Anyway, that's pretty much what I think of every time I hear that lovely song on "Star-ninety, sumthin', sumthin',"
a.k.a. the old folks station. One of the worst things about that station is they ruin old songs as well as new.
They'll take 10 old songs and play once an hour, for several months. At the end of the stretch, your sick of it.
They got these two lame D.J.'s called "Gay-Boy" and "Blow." "Blow," is a chick, and "Gay Boy" is a, well, a gay boy (not
that there's anything wrong with that), but he gives a gay community a bad name with his dumb-ass jokes.
To make it even worse, they record things they think they said was funny, and then play that over and over for a week. I'll give you
and example:
Gay Boy: "Hey
Blow, why does our boss look like he just got a wedgie?"
Blow: "Because
he's given so much money away in our big money give away!"
Gay Boy and Blow:
"Ha, ha, ha."
How about this one:
Blow: "Hey
Gay boy, guess what?"
Gay Boy: "What?"
Blow: "That's what!"
Gay Boy and Blow:
"Ha, ha, ha."
I guess it's just gotten to me because I have to listen to this shit all day long.
Speaking of shit, last week I thought since I like sushi I could save a big wad of money by buying some wasabi
sauce and put it on my own raw meat. Then I would have a nice home made sushi meal.
I figured chicken is way cheaper than fish so I carefully cut up thin strips of a raw chicken breast and mixed
it with sticky, white rice, then rolled it in a fruit roll-up and ate it with a big slab of wasabi sauce, which
is the real key to any good sushi meal. Yum, yum.
That night my stomach started churning and burning, then I threw up every ½ hour for the next day or so.
I'm pretty sure I got some bad wasabi sauce, so when I get better I'm gonna call the all natural store and give
them a piece of my mind.
AND NOW YOU KNOW!
COMING NEXT: MY
GOD...I'm from Texas!
Email
Bob!
webmaster@theweirdcrap.com |
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