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Song in my head:
"Let's talk it over, its not like we're dead,
bla-blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...in a city so dead..."
- Some chick -
I forgot who sings that song, but it's really annoying because two of the first three verses end with the word
"dead".
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"...I begin to panic because for a moment I think that I'm peeing blood." |
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My god, get a thesaurus, it drives me nuts every time I hear it! I find myself repeating words in just about every
rough draft I write. But its a rough draft, I eventually fix it.
So much for that. Since I'm short on time, we present to you...
The Best of Senitram!!!
This was originally posted four years ago:
While we are on the subject of email, the editor of TheWeirdcrap.com recently told me that 137 "Ask Bob"
questions have gone unanswered! I didn't believe him, so I took my feet out of the break room sink and tossed my
coffee in his face.
That'll learn him!
As it turned out I didn't have a cup of coffee in my hand. I had a box of "Juicy-Juice" and when I tried
to throw it in his face, I squeezed the box too hard and the juice squirted out of the straw and right into my
crotch.
I look down and see this red juice soaked around my privates, and I begin to panic because for a moment I think
that I'm peeing blood. I curl up in a ball, fall off the counter and scream, "You drove me to this! YOU DROVE
ME TO THIS!"
Then security gets involved and now I'm kept in a "Maximum Security Work Facility."
"Maximum Security, my ass." It's a dirt hole in the basement. I have nothing but a typewriter and spoon.
I use the spoon to dig holes in the floor so that I have a place to dump my bloody pee. I still haven't figured
out what to do with the typewriter, because they never gave me any paper.
Big Al, our security guard, lowers my meals in a basket tied to a rope and says, "It takes the food and eats
it.
I really want out, all he knows how to fix is Spaghetti O's. He don't even heat 'em up. If there are any "Feds"
out there, please find the location of TheWeirdcrap.com's evil secret headquarters...AND GET ME OUT OF HERE!
Here are some clues:
- When I was being brought to my current location, I noticed it was cloudy.
- At night I can hear tubas playing, so I'm quite sure I'm close to a
"Tuba-Club." I know this isn't much of a clue because Tallahassee is "The Tuba Capital of The World."
- I can also hear a clock ticking.
-
AND NOW YOU KNOW!
COMING NEXT: We
finally change history.
Email
Bob!
webmaster@theweirdcrap.com
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