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Song in my head:
"I said God-Damn,
GOD-DAMN, the pusha'…"
- Steppenwolf -
VISITOR MAIL!
Mercyperc writes:
How do you catch a monkey?
Dear Mercyperc:
Forgive me George Dubya, but I just can't resist…
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"Forget it, we'll post ads for a company with balls...." |
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Mercyperc:
NO! Don't do it!!!
Bob:
Oh, but I got too…
Drop a cage over the Republican National Convention.
Vincent writes:
Why are Giraffes neck's so long?
Dear Vincent:
I found this email in the archives; sorry it took over a year
to respond.
Recently, here at TheWeirdcrap.com, we experimented with a new advertising company for websites called "Adhearus.com".
I won't link to the url because they suck and I don't want to recommend a piece of Shit Company like Adhearus.com
to anyone who may advertise on the Internet.
Did I mention they suck monkey dicks? Well I shouldn't have because monkey dicks are way too small for those massive
dick-suckers. Adhearus.com only sucks the largest most succulent horse dicks. If you haven't figured it out yet,
they rejected us, here's their reason:
"The site that you submitted was not completed or contained
very little content at the time of review…"
We've posted one new fiction story each week for the last five years! Plus two commentaries each week, and daily
comics. That's more content than 99% of the websites out there. Here was my reply:
Dear Sir or Madam:
Are you high? Forget it, we'll post ads for a company with balls.
To everyone at Adhearus.com we'd like to thank you for your time,
You horse-dick sucking, ball-licking, gravy-slurping, toe-jam-chewing, cole slaw-eatin', nose-pickin' & eatin',
butt-scratchin', smelly, silent but deadly fart-makin', devil-worshipin', anus-lickin', loogy-swallowin', mutha-fuckas-YOU!
Anyway, it's probably for the best since Adhearus.com probably gets folks to post ads, collects the money, then
never pays up. So remember kids, when your hear "Ad-hear-us", think "Ad-fuck-us Up-the-ass-us"
Speaking of company bashing, about two years ago I bashed "Home Depot" for treating me like shit. We've
gotten a crap load of email about it, and we even show up on Google if you enter "Home Depot sucks".
Anyway I never thought much about it…I was just treated like shit on several counts when I tried to get some service.
I assumed it was because I'm a "darkey" and I live in Nebraska.
I admit now that I was overly sensitive about it, because at the time I had a boss who hated Mexicans and wasn't
shy about it. I also had co-wokers who often referred to "whites" as "Americans" and any one
else as "Foreigners".
I think the pressure of working with racists just got the better of me. Anyways, this week on the financial channel,
Home Depot announced they are running a national campaign to employ more Hispanics, so they don't loose out on
the Hispanic market. Coincidence?
Hard to say...
But this is easy to say, "Adhearus.com sucks smelly ass!!!"
Not that it bothers me or anything.
AND NOW YOU KNOW!
COMING NEXT:
Martha Stewart gets gangsta-mean!
Email Bob!
webmaster@theweirdcrap.com |
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