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Song in my head:
"Don't wanna be part,
of a red-neck agenda…"
- Green Day -
Michael asks:
My names Michael and I 14 and I feel it has been impossible to
find my meaning. I have classified myself and a "wondering wonderer", also known as a drifter. So now
I ask the you, the knower of all questions to help me find my meaning.
Dear Michael:
Usually I would not answer a question from someone as young as
you because TheWeirdcrap.com is not intended for folks under 18. But since I feel many others wonder about their
meaning, I decided to make an exception.
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"You shouldn't live a life of misery, just to get a hormonal high that can
be achieved by a chocolate bar..." |
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The meaning of life is simpler than you may think. As a multi-cellular organism you have two primary objectives,
reproducing cells and reproducing. Anything else you do along the way is just icing on the cake.
Single celled organisms got it made, 'cause when they reproduce a cell, they've "reproduced", they get
to kill two birds with one stone. For everyone else this is a two step process.
Eat right and exercise and you'll produce cells to a ripe old age. Remember when your cells die, you die. So
don't do anything that causes damage to your precious cellular structures.
Since in America, most of use can get the nutrition we need, we have a tendency to focus on reproduction, i.e.
sex. This is why you see sex on TV, magazines, even cereal boxes. It's just a biological response to take care
of the secondary objective once the primary is achieved.
To maintain cellular reproduction, you'll need to have food and shelter. No shelter, cells die in the cold elements
and eventually you die. I think you get the idea. So you need a job to get the money to provide for yourself.
Similarly, women are attracted to men with access to large or above average sums of money. This ensures their
offspring will be provided for. Men on the other hand, are attracted to women with large or above average size
breasts. This is so they can provide nourishment to their offspring. You see it all revolves around reproduction
and helping the offspring survive.
Since both primary and secondary life objective rely on a monetary income, it is wise to pursue something you like,
so when you work, your doing something you enjoy. If you make the effort to go to college, you'll get paid more
for doing what you like.
Some will talk about love this and love that; however, strong emotional feelings simply release a hormone called
serotonin, which makes the "good feeling." This is also produced when you eat a nice big chocolate bar.
Therefore, avoid a "bad" mating decision that may be based on this "emotional feeling." You
shouldn't live a life of misery, just to get a hormonal high that can be achieved by a chocolate bar.
Here's an example, when I was in college I was dating a girl that seemed real nice and this and that. When I told
my mom about her, she asked if I get "butterflies" in my stomach when I'm around her. I said, "Yes"
Her immediate response was, "Oh my babies is love, oh joy to the world! Are you going to ask her to marry
you? Blah, blah, blah."
I decided to wait, and a good thing too.
Turns out I wasn't in love, I was lactose intolerant. I gave up the milk and the butterflies flew away.
Back to your question.
To summarize the meaning of life: Study, get a job, the rest falls in place, anything else is just butta on da
bread.
AND NOW YOU KNOW!
COMING
NEXT: Hup, hup, hup!
Email Bob!
webmaster@theweirdcrap.com |
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