|
Archives
Contact
Advertisements
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ask Bob - 12/17/04
By Bob
Senitram
Posted each Friday
Save your soul, send Bob an email, or money!
Ask Bob! |
|
Song in my head:
"You and me against the world,
sometimes I feel like...it's you and me against the world..."
- George Bush singing to Tony Blair in the 2004 Camp David Meeting
-
Last week on "Ask Bob", the owner of a failing storage facility heard the faint cry of an infant and
followed his hears to investigate.
The he saw storage shed with the garage door opened. Inside was a young woman holding a child in old rags. He
recognized the woman as a customer who had rented one of his storage sheds. He also recognized that she was the
same woman he visited down the street, "to clear his mind."
|
|
|
|
|
|
"...I now know what I must do! I will welcome all crack whores to this place,
and it will be good..." |
|
|
|
|
|
Then he wondered if the child might be his, then he realized that he only paid Saundra (the child's mother), to
do stuff that his wife wouldn't do. Which meant the child weren't his. Then he noticed the inside of the shed.
A couch, where she had just given birth. A hot plate in the corner (probably to heat up crack, for she was a crack
addict), and one lamp. Then it occurred to him, she was living in the shed!
At that moment a light had shown from above and engulfed the man. Some say it was the North Star, some say it
was the moon smiling on the newborn child. Other historians suggest it was a street lamp that had just turned
on.
Outside the open garage door, he noticed a city electrician, who had just replaced the bulb that was shining above.
Next to him, were a pizza delivery boy, and next to him were a plumber. Since there weren't no running water
in the place, it was most likely the plumber was there to get his own pipes cleaned.
The electrician gently placed a 15000-watt halogen bulb before the baby as the pizza boy placed an order of pizza
sticks next to that. The plumber dropped his pants, but put them back on when we all gave him dirty looks.
The owner of the storage shed stood tall in the glowing light and exclaimed, "I now know what I must do!
I will welcome all crack whores to this place, and it will be good. From this day forward, the name will change
from 'Steve's Storage' to 'Crack Whore Village.' All shall be welcome here, the rich and the poor, the meek and
the mighty. And this tiny child, this tiny child, someday, WILL...
BE...
KING!"
"THE KING OF HEAVEN AND EARTH? THE NEW MESSIAH?" Asked the delivery boy, with great anticipation.
"Well probably not, but we can make him king of crack whore village...and that's a pretty good start in my
book." Steve answered.
THAT LITTLE CHILD...WAS...
ME!!!
COMING NEXT: The
awful truth!
Ask Bob a Question!
webmaster@theweirdcrap.com |
|
|
|
|
|
|