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Song in my head:
"This fire is out of control,
burn this city, burn this city..."
- Franz Ferdinand -
Last week I wuz a-tellin' y'all 'bout that dag-blasted Star Trek dream I had. If you didn't read last weeks column,
maybe you should, then continue. But if your just too damn lazy here's a summary, "I was Mr. Spock on a planet,
and the God Zoltar just gave me the supernatural power of super speed. As a result I am now running very fast."
I'm a-runnin' and a-runnin' and a-runnin' and a-runnin' and a-runnin'. Then I see myself in the third person.
Mr. Spock is in his blue shirt and little black boots, and he's running so fast you can't see his legs. The background
desert sand is just a blur as he whips past everything.
Then I notice his head starts to float off his body. But it keeps up with the body, just sailing across the terrain.
He reaches up and takes his head from the air and holds it in front of him so he can see where he's going. Now,
he's running so fast that soon the desert turns to grass and then the grass fields turn to fields with bushes,
then trees and mountains.
Now I'm Mr. Spock again and I'm no longer watching myself. So I stop and put my head back on. It fits perfect!
I figure the captain must be dead by now, so why cry over spilled milk...you can't live in the past I always say.
So I decide to get on with my life and I gathered some twigs, grass and leaves and build me a nice tree house to
live in.
It was a two part split level with the living area on the top section, then a family room that slopped onto ground
level so I could get heat from the barbecue pit during those cold winter nights.
Friends will flip when they see my new barbecue pit made out of brown and sandy colored rocks, with a perfect stone
bench to match! Just perfect to keep you and your guests nice and warm on those cold or chilly nights. But don't
let the stone construction fool you, this bench is as comfortable as it is attractive. The material for the seat
cushion was hand woven out of silk from nearby butterfly cocoons. The inside is filled with a lovely smelling mossy
material found next to a lake that has a natural scent of potpourri and vanilla.
What a time you'll have entertaining friends in this relaxing setting!
I threw this whole set-up together before dark (because the god Zoltar gave me the gift of super speed). I lay
down for a nice peaceful nights sleep when I was woke by a strange noise. I slipped on my hand woven hemp sandals
and took a look outside.
I froze as a saw a brown bear lumbering by. He didn't notice me or even look my direction, but I figure why take
the chance? I better do something, and I better do it now! So I jumped on his back, put him in a headlock, and
for reasons unknown, looked him straight in the eye. Then I opened my mouth and the life just drains out of that
bears eyes, nose, and mouth. Soon he is too weak to stand, and he falls. I continue to suck the life out of him,
until he's just a hollow costume of a bear.
Strangely I feel very strong and I stomp on the bear's hollow body and its body crushes like ashes into little
shards. I guess this is another gift from Zoltar!
I go back to bed, and when I wake, I was in my real bed at home.
Coming Next:
Was it just a dream?
Ask Bob a Question!
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