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Ask Bob - 09/10/04
By Bob
Senitram
Posted each Friday
Ask me a damn Question!!! |
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Have questions about a relationship, the world, life? . Is there a puzzle that seems...puzzling? Whatever it is, just Ask Bob and he'll explain
all...well, he'll probably just make something up. .
But that's the best we can do! |
Song in my head:
"All I am saying,
is give peace a chance..."
- John Lennon -
The following is, "The Best of Senitram!" Which means I was too lazy to write something new...enjoy this ditty from 02/27/01...ENJOY!
I was sittin' here in the apartment just a-thinkin' and a-thinkin' and a-thinkin' and a-thinkin' and a-thinkin'
and a-thinkin' and a-thinkin'.
I kept thinkin' until I was pretty sure there wasn't anything that I hadn't thought up.
I'm stuck in the apartment 'cause there's this man, and he's a followin' me. Right now he's down the hall, so I
can't go take a pee.
So, in all my thinkin' I just figured that things only exist, based on our perceptions. Therefore, if perception
relies on the physical world for us to acknowledge it, then if we do not acknowledge its presence, it ceases to
exist.
I think.
So I tried it.
I wished the bad FBI guy away, and now he's gone. I'm not sure if he was ever there. This means one thing. From
now on, the only things that exist are the things that I decide exist.
Now that I've discovered this power, I guess to you...I am a God. Therefore, I now command that you Bow down before
me.
I didn't see any bowing. An now must show you my wrath.
Jebba-Debba-Do, Jebba-Debba-Don't.
There, Done.
I have just wished away your chair and now you fell down and hit your head. For those of you who have carpets,
I wished the carpet away so you fall on the hard floor.
Ha! Now you are sorry for doubting me.
Because I am merciful, I have just replaced your chair, put you back in it, and what the heck while I'm at it,
I'll take away the pain associated with the fall for I am a merciful God.
But now you remember the fall, but there is not physical evidence of it. Now you are questioning of all you know
and see. The existance of everything, the fabric o f time and space are now unraveling. The whole world is coming
appart before your eyes and you are now going mad.
Oh, what the heck. Jebba-Debba-Do, Jebba-Debba-Don't. There, Done. I'll go ahead and take away your memory of the incident, for I am
merciful.
What!? Still no Bowing! Just forget it then. On to
Viewer mail!!!!
Jon from St. Louis, MO writes:
Bob, you are full of shit. I could go on and on but why should I, you are full of shit. Stupid Bastard! YOU!
Reply:
Oh damn, you found out.
Susan from work?
Bob, I read your article, and I am very angry. You should never even joke about hate. This world is filled with
hate mongers and it's such a shame! You should be ashamed!
Reply:
I have no idea what you are talking about. I deny anything that cannot be proven in a court of law.
Jennifer Love Hewitt from Los Angeles, CA:
Bob, someone told me about this site and I think you guys are retarded! By the way, how can you hate me, I'm America's
favorite sweetheart!
Reply:
I don't think you are really Jennifer Love, so I hate you for trying to trick me! If you are the real actress lady,
then why do you waste your time writing to me? You are a loser, and for that I hate you.
Bill Baburick from St Louis Mo:
All my life people have made much fun of me. They called me names and picked on me because they think I am weak.
Often I'd sit alone in my room crying. My life was miserable, but now thanks to your philosophy of hate, I hate
all those bastards who picked on me. Their futile attempts to make me feel bad has no effect on me what-so-ever,
because (like you), I hate them all! - Thanks Bob!!!!
Reply:
Your story really touched me. There's just one important point that you left out...I DON'T CARE!
And now the Story of Sally the throw-up girl....Once there was a girl named Sally who threw up and everyone at
work laughed at her because we thought it was funny.
Coming Next:
We find missing votes?
Ask Bob a Question!
webmaster@theweirdcrap.com |
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