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Song in my head:
"I watched it for a little while,
I love to watch things on TV..."
- Lou Reed -
I broke my "fuck-you" finger!
I'm not sure what orthopedics call it, but it's the middle finger on my right hand...really makes typing hard,
so today's column comes with great sacrifice.
I wrapped it up with electrical tape so it doesn't bend. But I got to take the tape off to type. I told folks a
work I broke it lifting weights, but really I broke it shopping. And by broke, I mean it hurts real bad. It got
stuck in a shopping cart somehow, and when I walked away the cart held onto my finger. It was like someone grabbed
my finger and just pulled my right down.
So there I am on the floor at the local grocery with a shopping cart on top of me. Did I mention the cart fell
on me? Well, it did and orange juice fell right on me crotch. The container didn't break when it hit me, but the
plastic split in two when it bounced on the floor, soaking my crotch and legs the sweet nectar of life.
I pulled my finger out of the cart, and it hurt, it hurt real bad. Lucky I was at the store, I could buy some tape
to wrap it up with. I couldn't go to the doctor, because I had to cancel my insurance plan, because my insurance
premium went through the roof. I'm going without insurance for a calculated one-year period, as a way to save money.
But don't worry, I watched the Republican Army Convention and things have never been better for America.
I know I seem critical at times, but that's because I'm a republican's worst enemy...even worse than Michael Moore.
This is because I'm an ex-republican. And by ex-republican, I mean a republican who has read a newspaper a few times. That's
pretty much all it takes. I was mugged by reality.
I'm not really affiliated with any party; I just look for the lesser of the two evils. I lean toward Democrats
because they never tried to convince anyone that "trickle down economics" would work.
That must have been the stupidest economic theory ever created? Ok,
here's a summary:
We'll give billions of dollars in tax cuts, to the richest people and corporations, with the expectation that they
will share it; buy building their business and hiring more people.
Summary of the summary:
Give mega-money to the greediest mutha-fucka's on the face of the planet, because they will probably share the
wealth. Yeah, right. Here's what really happens. The big corporations get the cash, and then they lay people off
before the end of the fiscal year. This artificially inflates the profits of the company, and as a result, the
big-wigs get nice fat bonuses. In essence, they divert the "incentive" tax dollars right in their own
pockets; all it cost is a few jobs. Greedy fucker's behaving in a greedy fashion? Why I never!
I still can't blame Regan; his brain was on the fritz. But it took a real idiot to take something that has been
proven wrong, and try it again.
Speaking of repeated mistakes, I've watched more of the Republican convention than the Democratic convention. I
can't help wonder how they propose to support someone who has failed consistently in every conceivable way. I've
watched segments for two days, each time they made a big emotional appeal about 9/11, the troops, insults to Kerry.
I'm still waiting for someone to give one single success story supported by a single fact that would support the
decision to elect Bush.
Here are the facts as I see them. In four years, Bush:
1. Took an economic surplus and turned it into a deficit.
2. Drew attention away from Bin Laden's, by falsely linking Iraq with terrorism.
3. Drew more attention from Osama, with the Iraq invasion.
4. Alienated the USA from the rest of the world with the policy of non-cooperation.
5. Increased terrorism by creating more hate toward Americans.
6. Increased terrorism by opening the doors of Iraq to terrorist groups.
7. Lost control of the military's treatment of POW's.
8. Facilitated a civil war in Iraq.
9. Wants our children to risk their lives, while his children sit at home and eat bon-bon's.
Now he's on TV, and he's gonna tell us how he's a victim of circumstances and we should give him another four years.
He'll tell us the economy is actually getting better. He'll tell us invading Iraq made us safer. He'll tell us
Osama is on the run. He'll tell us how things are not that bad...well.
Meanwhile, in a land he never heard of; my buddy in the national guard just got back from Iraq and now has to go
to Afghanistan, Osama is pissing on an American flag, a twelve year old in Iraq is joining a terrorist group, and
I still can't afford insurance.
Is that bad enough?
And now you know!
Coming Next: I
forgot what I was talking about?
Ask Bob a Question!
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