|
Archives
Contact
Advertisements
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Song in my head:
"Party at,
ground zero..."
- fishbone -
Here's the big low down on "Rubber Soul" by the Beatles...I like it.
Today's question!
From some guy who didn't want me to mention his name:
My girl wants me to buy her personal hygiene products and quite frankly I don't want to. For no real reason, we
both agreed to do what ever you say. unless its some stupid crazy shit.
Dear ________,
Wow, the same question entered twice in one week!
This is a first! The other similar question was posted on the tag board on the bottom of the page.
I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I do...for yes, I am married and often forced to make the
trip to get the persona l's. Unless you become gay, it's something you'll eventually have to do. For one day,
your woman will get caught with their pants down and you will need you to make the run.
Be brave. The woman is just afraid of going to the store during major leakage and having a big spill out in isle
5. Although leakage is usually just a tablespoon or so, womens always vision themselves in a public place when
a gush of vaginal waste goes spilling onto the floor like a dropped gallon of milk.
Oh, wait I can tell you what to do because you said I could!
Be a man about it and buy the damn tampons. It's like toilet paper, I mean, of course your gonna use it when you
shit...but everyone shits, so who cares?
Be proud of your body functions and you can be proud of your lady's!
As a matter of fact, just the other day, I bought some toilet paper. By some, I mean I bought one of those giant
24 cube packs. Just that, and an extra big jug of Metamusil.
When I walked up to the counter, I pushed my belly out to make it look as full as possible. Then, when it was
my turn, I starred at the counter person, right in the eyes and put on a great big stupid grin that said, "Yup,
today's the day! TODAY I WILL SHIT!!!"
Sure the counter girl was only 15, and she ran off laughing, then a supervisor had to help me...but I'm not proud,
so I don't care...and neither should you!
That reminds me, the other day at work I'm in the bathroom (it only holds one, and is available to the public),
when some guy trys to open the locked door. Realizing it didn't open, he pushed and pulled on the handle real
hard, like seven times! Then it sounded like he pushed his shoulder against it like a cop in a detective show.
What the fuck! This is just plain stupid behavior. I know if I try a bathroom door and the handle doesn't turn,
then it probably only holds one and is occupied. I don't try to break in. What was goin' on, in this guys head?
I say this is the mother fucker and
he gets the "Bought-toe"
award. I heard a Hispanic person call someone a "Bought-toe", I don't know what it means. But what ever it is, this guy is it.
Speaking of work, everyone at work has kids in their early twenties and they are always worried to death about
them...this is all I hear. Poor little Jimmy...blah, blah, blah. I say, the only good thing about kids, is that
they eventually move out...that's all you need to know.
If they've moved out, I figure problem solved. You don't need to worry about them, and they sure as hell don't
want to talk to you...so just have a beer and let it be. Let the little fuckers grow up.
Of course this applies to everyone, except my little baby gurl who is 2 1/2 years old and is a joy and a wonder,
every single day! Whe other kids even talk, it's an annoyance...but when baby gurl talks, it's a miracle that
God has made such a genius! That's just the way it is.
She will not be allowed to wander the dangerous streets of Nebraska! In fact, I've already decided that she won't
be able to drink soda until she's at least 30.
And now you knows!
Coming Next:
How did I become a pinball wizard?
Ask Bob a Question!
webmaster@theweirdcrap.com |
|
|