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Song in my head:
"Each simple gesture made by me is counter-acted,
and leaves me standing here with nothing left to say..."
- White Stripes -
Why I like the White Stripes by Bob Senitram.
First and foremost, Stephen Johnson hates the White Stripes and that's good enough reason in itself. However, even
if Stephen liked the group, I think I would be forced not to like them, but I would dislike them less than most
things Stephen likes. Secondly, I like the lyrics
In this age of "Train" waiting for angels, and "Uber-stink" not being a perfect person, and
all those other sensitive male singer who sing about being a wussy, but do it by screaming from the back of their
throats in a feeble attempt to sound manly; I find it refreshing to hear an adolescent tell his lady, "I don't
know what the fuck you is talkin' 'bout, woman."
All the men out there knows that 95% of the time we have no idea why a woman says, thinks, or does, anything. I'll give you some
examples from my personal life:
EXAMPLE #1
ME:
Honey, I'm going to the store. You want me to get anything?
OL' LADY: (in
hysterics) I don't need to depend on you!!!
ME:
???
EXAMPLE #2
ME:
(just woke up) What time is it?
OL' LADY: (crying)
You haven't listened to a word I've said!!!
ME:
???
EXAMPLE #3
ME:
I put gas in your car..
OL' LADY: (crying
in hysterics) You think I'm fat!!!
ME:
???
Perhaps in "female code"...this makes sense. But not in "man code." We have no idea what's
going on. In response, men have three choices:
1. Be an abusive
asshole
2. Always agree
with the woman.
3. Try to understand
by learning to come in touch with your own feelings which allows you to come in touch with her feelings, which
ends with the two of you skipping through a meadow of daisies - holding hands.
For you women, avoiding the abusive assholes. Gettin' hitched or dating one of these guys will usually get you
raped, killed, or in jail. Meat-heads are easy to spot, usually they're bald with muscles on their forehead. Depending
on his race, he will frequently blame all his failures on "minorities" or "the man." While
driving, he will often pound on the dashboard. That's the profile - avoid it. Never overlook these fatal characteristics.
That's like overlooking the fact that rat poison is poison, and eating it anyway.
I like to let the woman have her way. You don't have to agree, just give her what she wants. Women are more sensitive
and things that are meaningless to us, mean all the world to them. That's all you need to know. Don't need to try
to understand anything. It's hopeless. Unless you got two X chromosomes and only one Y chromosome, her reasons
will never make sense to you.
My advice for men is as follows. It's easiest not to know why she's upset, all you need to know is what she wants.
However, chances are she knows how to talk and she'll want to tell you just the same...just listen. Shift through
all the details and try to figure out the subject. You may hear a ten minute story about a trip to a copy machine,
before you find out she was leading up to her friends new shoes - the hidden subject of her conversation.
Now every generation has it's group of men who claim to or try to understand the woman's feelings. Absolute insanity.
Which brings me to the shitty sensitive music by current pop artists. They are trying to understanding their women
(or imaginary women). Speakin' about their feelings and shit. That's all nice and fine, but I don't want to hear
it! If the guy was in the room and he starts blubberin' about this and that, I just change the subject.
Now you young-un's don't need to be embarrassed by your generation of wussy pop stars. Every generation has produced
these types. The seventies produced the likes of Bread, Barry Mantilow, and James Taylor. The eighties produced
more obvious cross genders like, The Cure, Boy George, or any Big-Hair band. Then in the nineties, we got stuck
with boy bands, then Marilyn Manson, then more boy bands. Now we got Train, Puddles of Mud and the punk who sings
the "body is like a wonderland" song.
They all want to get in touch with their feminine side. I guess them types are funny enough to watch, but its equally
annoying to have the airwaves cluttered with the crappy music they produce.
Which brings me back to the White Stripes. Clear no nonsense rock with no "man-tears" shed. It's like
a breath of fresh air...but the mouth has bad breath.
And now you know!
Coming Next:
That deaf, dumb, and blind kid, sure plays a mean pinball!
Ask Bob a Question!
webmaster@theweirdcrap.com
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