|
|
Song in my head:
"If Bush is Pinocchio - Pinocchio,
who the hell is Gepetto, Gepetto..."
- Black-eyed peas -
Turns out some folks didn't like my list of George Bush weaknesses; they thought I was too harsh and critical.
I thought I was being fair by also poking fun at Kerry. I must point our that Bush's list of strengths was also
greater than Kerry's list of strengths...and so on and so forth.
I thought about the two candidates all week and found that I could best express my feelings about the situation
with an interpretive dance. This dance will help you discover the inner you, and help you discover who best represents
you in the White House.
This is how it goes:
If at first this doesn't make sense to you, do the dance move - then
stop and think about what you've done. If things still aren't crystal clear, try it with your right hand pointing
away from yourself, as if you were to "walk like an Egyptian." Then daintily put your left hand on your
waist, like a little teapot. Now try the dance in this position and give it a little "cha-cha-cha" action.
That should do it!
For those of you who followed the instructions above without question: The inner you is a Republican, good boy...now
go vote for Bush on your way to the unemployment line.
For those who said, "Bullshit" on the dance: You are a Democrat, quit causing trouble and go vote for
Kerry.
This interpretation of the current politics accomplishes two things. First and foremost, it takes up space in the
column, which is important because I don't have a lot to write about this week. Secondly it shows, when it comes
to money, opposites really do attract.
For those of you who have spent more time in prison than on the dance floor, here's a different interpretation:
You're in prison again, and in addition to being very good-looking, you're put in "Cell Block C" with
"Mr. Big" who has it in good with the warden. That night, Mr. Big gives you two choices, either he will
fuck you in the arse, or he will fuck you in the arse with a lubricant.
For those of you who love to be fucked in the arse anyway, go vote for Bush.
For those of you who choose the lubricant, vote for Kerry.
That's my take on the current situation. Funny thing is if John McCain ran for President, I'd be all over that.
I don't agree with some of his policies, but I trust him...even though he's a Republican, he has a good record.
You just can't beat that.
Coming Next:
Dream Weaver!
Ask Bob a Question!
webmaster@theweirdcrap.com
|
|