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Song in my head:
"Livin' lovin',
she's just a woman..."
- Led Zeppelin -
You'll never believe what happened!
I was flippin' through channels, waitin' for baby gurl (she's two now), to get tired so I could put her to bed
and write my column, when I came across MTV2. What did I see? A new show called "Andrew WK".
Basically, he has a web site where folks write in questions and he tries his best to give some sort of "zany"
answer. But it's all an act. I guess there's an obvious difference between someone who thinks a little crazy
and someone who tries to act crazy. It seems obvious to me, that MTV is trying to monopolize off the popularity
of TheWeirdcrap.com's "Ask Bob" column.
I'm fully convinced that, the "WK" is their way of trying to associate with TheWeirdcrap.com. "WK"
is an attempt to remind folks his answers will be just like those featured here. I can't explain or categorize
what I write, often my answers have little to do with the question asked, but it's just me...and that they can't
steal.
They should have asked for Stephen's or my help...that would have made it the real McCoy. Instead it's just a
cheap "knock-off." Like when the cast of "Seinfeld" tried to make their own shows. Oh, well...you
and I know the truth. Besides, who watches MTV2 anyway.
I'm glad I got that off my chest. Speaking of getting things off my chest. The other day I found my first chest
hair right dab in the middle of my chest...I was so proud! The a few days later it just fell off. I had daydreamed
of having a big hairy chest like the guy on Magnum PI.
I had visualized myself at the beach with six bitches all around me, rubbing my hairy ape-like chest. But two
things stopped that. First, I live in Nebraska and there is no beach. Second, the hair fell out! Damn, aint
that a beach.
I think it fell out because I started working out with weights and the flexing chest muscles must have just squeezed
it out.
I had to start working out again, I just had too. I used to be in good shape. Buff they called me. Then after
6 years of marriage I started to loose muscle mass. Too much beer, not enough exercise. I figure I'm married
so no big deal. Then I gained a few pounds. A little pot-belly, again, I'm married no big deal. But then, one
day I looked in the mirror and there they were.
Two round voluptuous man-boobs. At first I thought of going to the lighter side of Sears to get a man bra...then
I thought, I'm young, I should just beat them man boobs into a chest like I used to have.
That was two months ago, I've been working out about four times a week and it's really starting to show. But at
what cost? Alas, my chest hair hath gone the way of the doe-doe.
Coming Next:
I go back to my grass roots and can't stop coughing!
Ask Bob a Question!
webmaster@theweirdcrap.com |
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