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Song in my head:
"Please Mr., please,
don't play b-17..."
- Olivia Newton-John -
Just as I expected that shit-head Stephen Johnson went and denied that he was the father of my alien butt-baby.
I know butt-baby sounds gay, but it has nothing to do with that sort of stuff. Stephen sets his seed floating
in the air, like a plant, and it floats around for months, sometimes years, looking for a host.
The alien seed is neither male nor female, it has x and y chromosomes and latches onto a host and gnaws into the
host body and then grows alien tentacles that suck nutrients out of your blood system. Then it pops out of your
body, just like the movie "Alien."
I know this because the information was given to me by the cosmos.
I painted my bathroom black, tapped up the window and put towels under the door, so its pitch black inside. Then
I sat in a chair and starred into the mirror for three days. On the third day the cosmos revealed to me many mysteries
of the universe. Most I can't tell you about, but I can tell you about the alien butt-babies and how they came
to being.
About 25 years ago, a probe from another world landed. It was in an area that was unpopulated so the aliens, who
sent it, never know that life existed. Later, when the batteries ran out and it could no longer send signals,
the government took the probe and studied it very closely and found a strand of alien hair stuck to a circuit board.
They replicated that DNA a thousand times so they had copies to play with. Then they proceeded to combine the
alien DNA with dumbest species on the planet to form the universe's stupidest alien.
That alien would be sent back to his home planet and pollinate the entire population, leaving behind a planet of
Morons who would never bother to hurt anybody.
That probe was Explorer I, and that planet was Mars. Deep beneath the surface, the Martian Government of Ak-na-plum,
created Stephen Johnson who is now actively populating the planet with his race of morons know to us as the Republican
party.
Lucky for us, our government, in coordination with local hospitals, are aborting most Alien butt-babies as fast
as they are made. But beware; if Republicans are allowed to continue, more and more butt-babies will be born.
And now you know!
Coming Next:
HOT DOG!!!
Ask Bob a Question!
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